
Class 
Book 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT 



f 



"^^ 



rilHHini 




tantalising 

A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS 




BY 



GA VAULT and MICHAEL MORTON 



PRICE ONE SHILLING AND SIXPENCE NET. 

The Fee for each Amateur representat'on of this 

Play is Five Guineas, payable in advance to 

Saunuel French, Limited, 26, Southampton Street, 

Strand, London. 



<^V < 




Copyright 1910 by Samuel French, Ltd, 



LONDON: 
UEL FRENCH, LTD. 

PUBLISHERS 

26, SOUTHAMPTON ST. 

STRAND 



NEW YORK: 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

P U BUSHER 

28, WEST 38th STREET 



, ACTI NG RI GHTS. 

^ the law on copyright. AU representations of c^^.h? 
Y dramatic works axe hable to fees, if either money o^/con 
e ^deration be taken for admission, tickets sold, ^coUec^on 
made, or where any theatre, haU. or other plkce belS 
for such purpose It is absolutely necessary^ that t^e^ 
for plays should be paid in advance, and an •utho,4^ 
permission obtained, otherwise ea^h pem>n ta^W ^t 

to IZTl "^"^ f^^^ '^ ^' represented, is severauf ha We 
to a penalty or damages, under 3rd and 4th Wilham IV 

«hfi'inS* . 7 "^^^^'J^^ ^^^ telegraph, injunctions can hi 
t^ZV^ '"'''''"' performances, which, if ignored, would 
lead to the imprisonment of the offenders Agents aw 
appointed m all parts of the kingdom, and are^thorised 
to collect fees on behalf of the various authors or proprietor 
and are empowered to exact fuU penalties where fees havi 
not D^n paid m advance. It is not necessary to have a 

of?? wi-°^.''^ * P^*y ^ *^^ ^^««* t^at it is copyright, 
although this 18 done in many instances. To save useless 
correspondence it must be strictly understood that no 
reduction can be made on account of a performance takini? 
place for the benefit of a charity, or any other cause wha? 
ever. Any mformation on this subject can be obtained 

P-RT^M^^rf^^fr^ ^^^^ envelope to SAMUEL 
^KJiJNm, Ltd., 26, Southampton Street, Strand, London 
^^ on the plays tvhichS.French, Ltd., collects formust be 
paid by P.0.0. or cheque to the above address, or the aviJiorised 
Agents. 

The fees to Amateum wfli be as foUows, if paid in advance :— 
lActPiecss .. « « _ Froiii10s.6d.to44t. 
2 Acts .. ^ ^ «... « 15s. to 8SS. 

' ^^^^ •• - 21s. to £5 5«. 

BURLESQUES and OPERAS are charged as 3 Act Playt. 

It is advisable to ascertain the correct amount before remittiaa. 
Ho fees can be refunde<i. ^ 

t,iLo?'''''" respecting the liability incurred in playing copyrigbt 
"Jiunatic works without permission can be had on applicatS!: 

TARIFF LIST POST FRl^E. 



TANTALISING TOM: 



irs are recommended to Mr. Michael Mor- 
•36 act comedy " My Wife,'''' published by 
^Umuel French, Ltd., at sixpence. The 

is piece by amateurs is Three Guineas. 



TANTALISINC 
TOMMY 



A COMEDY IN FOUR ACT- 



/' By 

PAUL GAVAULT and MICHAEL M0RTO>^ 



Copyright, 191 1, by Samuel Frknch, Limitkd 



New York 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Publisher 

28-30 WEST 38TH STREET 



London 
SAMUEL FRENCH Ltd 

26 Southampton S t t' 
STRAND 



r 

' ' I •J 



ill) 



:lie Fee for each and every Amateur repiesenta- 
nox- yt this play is Five Guineas payable in advance 

tc • — 

Messrs. SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 

26 Southampton Street, 

Strand, London, 

ci t;, r authorised representatives, who will issue a 
writie 1; permission for the performance to take place. 
N'o pc'fformance may be given unless this written 
authtv Ity has ftrst been obtained. 

.\ ; he costumes and wigs used in the performance 
ji ' .tantalising Tommy ^^ or any other play in 
Frov'H's Acting Edition may be hired or purchased 
niis bly from Messrs. Chas. H. Fox, Ltd., 27, 
V '(■'•: jton Street, Strand, London. 



©CI.D 28015 



V- 



TANTALISING TOMMY 



Produced on February 15, 1910, at the Playhouse, London 
with the following T;ast — 



James Cottenham 

Harry Killick . 

Thomas H. Pepper 
Mr. Eustace Tatkem 

Lord Enderby 

Jennings 
Jack Mason 
Frank Ricketts 

Simpson 

Elsie Tathbm 

Bertha 

Maid , 

Tommy 



Mr. Cyril Maude 
Mr. Kenneth Douglas.. 
Mr. Fred Lewis. 
Mr. John Beauchamp. 
Mr. Robert Aver ell. 
Mr. John Harwood. 
Mr. M. Wetherdl. 
Mr. A. G. Onslow. 
Mr. €. B. Keston. 
Miss Sybil Buskin. 
Miss Maidie Hope. 
Miss Eva Rowlands 
Miss Marie Lohr. 



/\ 





• 






\ 


w 


n 




N 



<h 



^J 


m 


fii 


d 


% 


5 


S 


1-^ 


^J 


u 




TANTALISING TOMMY 

ACT I 

At rise of Curtain — Jimmie, Harry and Bertha 
seated thus : — 

Jimmie 
Bertha Harry 

'playing Bridge. Bertha with her hand raised 
holding one card hesitates three times — drawing out 
card, holding it up, and replacing it.) 

Jimmie. {to Bertha) Play, please — no matter 
what, but do play. 
Bertha, Very well, then — clubs, (plays) 
Jimmie. (smiles) I knew that was coming ! 

(They all play.) 

Harry. Well played, (take up cwrds) It's our 
trick. 

Jimmie. (to Bertha) Hadn't you any more 
hearts ? 

Bertha. Yes, of course I had — the three and the 
two. 

Jimmie. But they were trumps ! (looks over 



8 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

her hand. You had two tricks to make and the game 
was yours. You'll never learn, {marks the score) 

Bertha. I've only been learnm' a fortnight. I 
'ope I can make a few mistakes, {rise, replace chair 
hy table) You make 'em yourself. 

JiMMiE. I make mistakes ? 

Beetha. Yes, you. And so daes Mr. KiUick. I 
don't see why / should take all the blame, {gets l, 
opens door l. and gets nearly off l.) 

JiMMiE. Well, never mind, {to Harry) What 
do you say to something to drink ? 

Harry. I say yes, by all means. 

JiMMiE. {to Bertha) Bertha, bring some — 
er 

Harry. Whisky and soda. 

Bertha. {lobMng hack) If I did lose the trick 
this time, you trumped 'earts last night. So now 
we're quits. 

{Exits down l. slams door.) 

Jimmie. {rises and comes to c.) That girl's 
getting unbearable. Did you hear how she spoke to 
me ? 

Harry. You began it, Jimmie. 

Jimmie. (r.c.) Well, suppose I did. I can 
correct her, can't I ?— she's my servant. 

Harry, {rises and goes to Jimmie l.c.) Yes, but 
—I wouldn't upset her like that if I were you. She'll 
end by refusing to play with us— and in this out of 
the way place where you've chosen to spend your 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. ^ 

holidays, if we have no one to make a third at Bridge 
we should have to play double dummy, and that's an 
awful bore. 

JiMMiE, My dear chap, if you're dull here with 
me 

Harry. It's not madly exciting here ; but I'm 
not complaining — I need country air. 

JiMMiE. My dear old Harry, you'll do me the 
justice to beheve it's you who do me a favour. With- 
out you I should be most awfully lonely. And I who 
shall always be a nobody like to think that when you're 
a great man they will say in your biography, " Harry 
KilHck — one of the masters of the modern school of 
painting, spent his holidays with his best friend, Mr. 
James Cottenham." I am very proud of you ! 

Harry. Yes, I have great talent ! I've a 
splendid future — what I lack 

JiMMiE. Is a present. 

Harry. No — an opportunity, {sits cJiuir R. of 
table) 

JiMMiE. That will come, old chap. 

Harry. I know it will, and I'm waiting for it 
here in this grim Forest which your peculiar fancy 
has made our country residence for the summer. 

JiMMiE. Grim, but I like the New Forest very 
much, (crosses and sits chair l. of table) 

Harry. It isn't bad, but being a portrait painter 
a forest is not precisely what I require. However ! 

JiMiMiE. But look how many delightful excursions 
one can make from here ! 



10 - TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

Harry, Yes. Since the tandem bicycle arrived 
it has been fairly decent. What a fuss you did make 
about buying it ! You said you couldn't cycle, you 
couldn't do this and you couldn't do that. You 
see now how useful it is to us. (looks for tobacco in 
tin) 

JiMMiE. I never thought I should like it so 
much. 

Harry. You should always let yourself be guided 
by me. You're an awfully nice chap, but you have 
no initiative. You come of a small family 

JiMMiE. Small income 

Harry. You have a small post in a Government 
office. It's all so narrow. My own outlook is so 
much broader, (go c, look for baccy) 

JiMMiE. It is just because we are so different that 
we jog along so well together. You know how I 
dislike meeting strangers. I like old friends around 
me. {goes to c.) 

Harry. You're a tremendously good fellow, 
Jimmie, but you've one great fault, {goes to Jimmie, 
feels for his pouch in his focket r.) You don't think 
enough of yourself, you're too retiring, {crosses 
in front of Jimmie, and takes pouch from Jimmie's l. 
pocket) Life wasn't given you to make little of — 
life's a birthday present, and what have you done 
with this glorious gift ? 

Jimmie. I have a Governm^ent appointment, some 
rubber shares 

Harry, That's bad enough. But you reach the 



AotI] tantalising tommy. 11 

office every day exactly on time to the minute. Do 
you wish me to admire punctuality ? 

JiMSOE. The unpunctual never do. 

Harry. It's paltry. I believe in letting the 
other man wait — let the other man worry — the man 
who gets the best of everything is the man who takes 
it. {puts Jim's fouch in his own 'pocket — sit r. of 
table, leg on chair) You'll never get on. Because 
you never complain — you never bother your chief, 
so he never bothers about you. 

JiMMiE. {go c.) I hate to bother people — I hate 
anything in the nature of a disturbance ; if it's 
necessary to make myself a nuisance in order to get 
on in life — then I shall never be anything. 

Harry, (lights pipe) Now look at my method. 
Do I paint ? 

JiMMiE, No. {go R.) Yes ! {turn c.) 

Harry. No, I wait. And yet with my talent, I 
might take any model — your head for instance — 

(JiMMiE prides himself) 

which doesn't express anything, {throws down match) 
and a masterpiece would be the result, but no one 
would take the least notice of it. But let me make 
the acquaintance of some prominent person, I take 
out my palette, and in three months I become 
famous. 

{Enter Bertha l., putssalver with syphon and glasses 
-on table l.) 

JimjviEE. And I shall be jolly glad, old chap 1 



12 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

{pichs up match, and crosses r, gets whisky from side- 
board) 

Harry. Jimmie ! {over to him l.c.) You are 
charming ! Your views are narrow, but you are 
charming. 

(Jimmie gives whisky to Harry). 

Bertha, (l. of table) 'Ere's the soda water, sir. 
(puts on table then goes up to window, covers canary 
cage and then goes c. to ligJit three candles) 

Jimmie. Thank you Bertha, {goes to r. of table 
and pours out soda) 

(Harry gets l. of table below it, pours out whisky.) 
(Harry stands l. of table.) 

Jimmie. (r. of table squirting soda water) Ah! 
Life's a funny thing — here we are — three people of 
no consequence- — who count for nothing, yet in say 
twenty yens from now I shall be spending the summer 
here just the same and I shall say — Harry KilUck 
has become famous — ^He's a Royal Academician after 
all. {raising his glass) To our future R.A. 

{To Harry, dinks glass at tabk.) 

Harry, (l. of table, raising his glass) Thanks 
— here's to you, Jimmy — Bertha, your health, 
{filling glass) 

Bertha, {up c.) {sniggering) Oh, Mr. KilHck. 

Harry. Drink, my good girl — in spite of my 
prospects I am not proud 



aotL] tantalising tommy. ip' 

Bertha. Oh no, thank you, sir, it'll go straight ■ 
to my head. 

JiMMiE. {crosses c. and to R.) (brings whislcy to 
R. puts it on sideboard) ■ Twenty years from now you 
will have forgotten all your old friends. 

Harry. Come, come, buck up, Jimmie. It isn't 
at all sure that I shall become famous, (sits r. side 
of table) 

Bertha, (up c.) While you're waiting to become 
famous, sir ,would you mind my getting a little sleep ? 

Jimmie. Yes, yes, we're all going to bed now. 

Harry. That's one reason why I'm so fond of 
the country, one gets to bed early. 

Jimmie. Yes — and gets up beastly late, at least 
you do. 

Bertha, (c. has lighted the candles. To Jimmie) 
Here is your candle, sir. {giving it) 

Jimmie. Thank you. {taking it) 

Bertha, {to Harry) And yours, sir. {puts it 
on table) 

(Harry takes his candle — Exit Bertha l. with soda 
salver and glasses.) 

Harry, {going upstairs unbuttoning his clothes) 
Good-night, old chap. 

Jimmie. Good-night ! Don't snore so much to- 
night ! I thought it was an earthquake. 

Harry, {from the staircase taking letter out of 
pocket) Oh, by the bye— a letter 

Jimmie. A letter—^ — > . , 



14 TANTALISING TOMMY. {Act I. 

Harry. Came for you this moruing. T put it 
i n my pocket and forgot all about it. Here, catch ! 
{he throws it to him) 

JiMMiE. {muffs catching it) I hope it*s not urgent. 
{picks it up) 

Harry. There is nothing in the appeal an ce of the 
envelope to suggest urgency. 

{Light up in Room 3.) 

JiMMiE. Too bad of you, Harry, {puts candle 
on table — glancing at the envelope) Mr. Tathem's 
writing. 

Harry, (bumps his head) Damn these low 
ceilings, {puts candle in door 3) 

JiMMiE. {reads the letter) Bertha 

Bertha, {entering l.) Yes sir ? {with duster by 
door L.) 

JiMMiE. Bertha, the Tathems are coming to lunch 
to-morrow. 

Bertha. The what, sir ? 

JiMMiE. I — I mean Mr. Tathem — he's a very 
important person 

Bertha. Very good, sir. We'll kill a chicken. 
{up to him) 

JiMMiE. Kill a chicken ? {mystified for the 
moment) 

Bertha. For lunch, sir, 

(Harry at his door — 3) 
JiMMiE. Oh, I see. Yes, that will do, {goes b.) 



AoTl.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 15 

Bertha. With Mr. Killick and you there will be 
three at table, then. 

JiMMiE. {walks about) Oh, no ! Confound it, 

no ! Mr. Tathem and — and {cross R. and back 

to c.) 

Harry, {top landing) Hallo, what's the matter 
— you seem worried. 

JiMMiE. I ? Not in the least ! I'm quite calm. 
That will do. Bertha — you may go to bed. 

Bertha. But I haven't locked up, sir. 

JiMMiE. Well— I'll do that. 

Bertha. Thank you, sir. Good-night, sir. 
{cross c. to R.) 

JiMMiE. Good-night. Did you give the canary 
his water ? How did he seem ? Did he peck at the 
nest a bit ? 

{Light up in Room 1). 

Bertha. Yes sir. 

JiMMiE. Hasn't laid an egg has he ? 

Bertha. I didn't find one, sir. 

(Bertha takes candle from c. and Exits room 1, pvis 
duster on table up q.) 

Harry, {coming downstairs) I say, that fellow 
Tathem — isn't he your Chief ? {over bannister) 

JiMMiE. The Chief Clerk of my division, (l.c.) 

Harry. Well, I think it's very inconsiderate of 
him to show his face when you're having a hohday. 
{by door 1) 

JiMMiE. {stammering) Well — the fact is — he— r 



,16 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

er — thinks I'm lonely — you see I — well, I didn't tell 
him you were staying here 

Harry. Oh ! then he thinks you're here alone. 
Xcome R.c. on stage) 

JiMMiE. Yes. 

Harry. I understand — an officious — I mean an 
official visitor— a nod's as good as a wink to an Irish- 
man — I am in the way — Good ! then I'll go. I'll 
go by the first train in the morning. I must be 
called, {goes to stair — calling) Bertha ! 

Bertha, {off room 1 — sleefy voice) Yes, sir. 

Harry. Come here, please, {pose on post at foot 
of stairs) 

Bertha, {her voice is heard once more) At this 
time of night. 

JiMMiE. {up to Harry) Now don't get her 
started again, we shall never hear the last of it. I 
don't want you to go — don't be in such a hurry. 
We'll arrange things somehow, {go c.) 

Harry. Oh, very well, {calling) B«rtha ! {ai 
foot of steps) 

Bertha. Don't flurry me, I'm coming as quick as 
I can. 

Harry. But don't come, I made a mistake— go 
to sleep. 

Bertha, {sleepy tone) All right, {yawns) 

Harry. Now I'm off to bed, old man. {goes up 
between doors 1 and 2) 

JiMMiE. {embarrassed) You don't know Mr. 
Tathem. (hacks c.) 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 17 

Harry, {going upstairs) No. {leans on post 
below door 1) 

JiMMiE. He's a great friend of my aunt's. You 
don't know my aunt? 

Harry. Yes — she's your mother's sister. 

JiMMiE. No, she's father's sister. 

Harry. But why this beating about the family 
bush? 

JiMMiE. {taps Ch. with letter) I — er — I — don't 
quite know how I h^pened to think of my aunt just 
then, but — I was about to tell you that Mr. Tathem 
is not coming alone — that's why I 

Harry. {quickly.) Ah ! You're concealing 
something, {runs down) What ? (r.c. on stage) 

JiMMiE. His — er — his daughter, {turn to l. by 
chair) 

Harry. Jimmie. 

JiMMiE. Yes. 

Harry. You are going to be married ? 

Jimmie. I — I — I think so. 

Harry. Well, that's the last straw ! {crosses l.) 

(Bertha puts out the light.) 

Jimmie. Nothing is decided yet. {follows him L.) 

{Light out in Room 1.) 

Harry. Going to be married ! So this is the end 
of fifteen years of close friendship. ^. 

(Jimmie groans.) 

Fifteen quiet, peaceful years. . ,.^• 



18 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

(JiMMiE groans.) 
Sharing everything equally ! I brought the pipe and 
my art, you the wretched money. It was ideal. 

One fine day a little goose comes waddling by 

{down L.) 

JiMMiE. {follows Mm down l.) I beg paidon — she 
is not a Uttle goose and she does not waddle — she's 
a very graceful girl — and I love her. {swings leg) 

Harry. Love her ! (put pipe on table l.) How 
do you know you love her ? {backs Mm to c.) Who 
told you you loved her ? Where are the signs ? Do 
you eat any the less ? 

JiMMiE. No — more ! 

Harry. Do you sleep any the less ? 

JiMMIE. No. 

Harry. Is there any inward or outward disturb- 
ance in your every day respectable heart ? 

JiMMiE, {nervously) I — I — don t think so. 

Harry. You haven't the time to love — you work 
all day — tired out, you sleep all night. 

JiMMiE. No, I'm very restless sometimes. 

Harry. The Chief Clerk of your division says. 
" Marry my daughter, ' and you marry my daughter. 
But that isn't love — ^you can't love, when you're 
m_ariied. Love is the unexpected that comes like a 
flash of lightning and makes the heart jump and 
thump like a runaway motoi, smashing reason and 
common sense and everything before it. {go l.) 

Jimmy, {looking dazed) It sounds to me like an 
acute attack of appeniicitis. 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 19 

Harry, That's love, (contemptuously) She has 
money, I suppose? 

JiMMiE. A Utrle. 

Harry. I thought so. I could have forgiven a 
marriage for fabulous wealth, there is something great 
in that, but marrying a little money is so ordinary, 
so unromantic, utterly unpardonable. Well — it's 
good-bye, Hairy, good-bye everything. He turns 
his back on ths ideal and marries ! (go l. a little) 

JiM?.iiE. I say Harry, how unreasonable you are ! 
Will marriage prevent us from seeing one another ? 
I shall come to your house and you 

Harry. My house was your house. Where will 
my house be now ? (aggressively, crosses r. gets 
match and cigarette) 

JiMMiE. {follow him to R.c.) I'd no idea you'd 
take my marriage so much to heart — if I'd known, 
Harry, I assure you 

Harry. I don't blame you, Jimmie. You are 
only acting in accordance with your middle class 
nature. You have an atavisxic longing for a fireside 
companion 

Jimmie. (amazed) Have I ? 

Harry. It's in your blood. You can't help it ; 
it's a fatality, I accept the inevitable. With a 
fathei-in-law and a fiancee coming there's no question. 
I must go — I should be de trop — not enough spoons. 
(turns R. calling) Bertha ! (foot of steps) 

Bertha, (off r. her voice is heard) Yes, sir. 

Harry. Come here. 



20 



TANTALISING TOMMY. 



[Act I., 



Bertha. I can't. I'm in bed. 

Harry. Then get up, slip on a petticoat and come 
here. 

Bertha. I'll do nothing of tlie kind. I want 70U 
to understand, Mr. Cottenham, that at this time of 
night 

JiMMiE. I'm not asking you to come here, (ner- 
vously) 

Harry. But 7 am — it's most important, {crosses 

L.) 

{Light up in Room I.) 

Bertha. Oh, very well — I'm coming, (lights her 
candle) 

JiMMiE. {follows him L.) But I don't want you 
to go — and you're all wrong in thinking my marriage 
is going to make any difference between us. 

Harry. It will never be the same again, there'll 
be no sharing anything. You'll have to give it all 
to her. 

JiMMiE. (l.c.) Nothing of the kind. The day 

after my marriage I shall simply say to my wife — 

This is my best friend — ^he is an artist — ^a great artist 

— a magnificent artist — in his way — I shall say we 

jnust help him — then everything will go on as before, 

Harry, {turns to him) You'll do that — you really 
mean it ? {loudly) 

JiMMiE. Yes, do you suppose I should ever resign 
myself to never seeing you again ; it was very unkind 
of you to talk like that : I feel very much hurt. 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 21 

Harry. Well — no man can say Harry Killick 
ever shirked Ids duty as a friend. You need me, I 
will remain, (puts his shoulder) 

JiMMiE. Then eveiything will go on as before, 

Harry. You swear it? 

JiMMiE. I promise you faithfully. 

Harry. Then that's all right, {shakes hands 

JiMMiE. {joyfully calling) Bertha ! {to foot of stairs) 

Bertha, {impatiently) Yes, I'm coming. 

JiMMiE. No — no — don't come. Go to sleep. 

Bertha, {her voice is heard again) I can't — 
I've got all my clothes on now. 

JiMMiE. She's got all hec clothes on now. 

Harry. Well, take them off and go to bed again. 

JiMMiE. Yes, take 'em all off. 

Bertha, I never seed such a house. 

JiMMiE, Now go to sleep and don't talk any more. 

Bertha. I'm not talking — you're doing all the 
talking, {voice dies away) 

JiMMiE. (c.) Will you be quiet ? {comes to 
Harry l.c.) Can't you say something to her? 

Harry. Peace ! Woman ! 

JiaiMiE. Yes, that's good. She loves a bit of Shake, 
speare. Everjishing's settled. Elsie and her father 
will lunch with us to-morrow. I thought we'd begin 
with 

Harry. Is she dark or fair, your dear Elsie ? 
{puts his arm round Jim's shoulders) 

Jmuiz. Let me think — it's difficult to say 
{hands in pockets) 



22 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

Harry. In that case I should say she's a chestnut. 

JiMMiE. {looks at Harry) She is modest, she is 
shy, I suppose you might call her a chestnut. What 
a nut — what a wife she'll make ! Sometimes, Harry, 
when I'm sitting by the fire 

Harry. Shall we go to. bed now ? 

(Harry crosses r.) 

JiMMiE. Yes, yes, in my joy I was forgetting — 
forgive my enthusiasm. 

(JiMMiE gets candle from table and comes c.) 
Shot ready. 

Harry. Brave little Briton, {foot of stairs r.) 
We need such as you to perpetuate the race. 
JiMMiE. Oh, I say Harry, don't be an ass \ 

(Harry goes upstairs followed hy Jimmie.) 

It's half-past eleven — ^this is nothing short of madness. 
{go wp to Room 3) 

(Jimmie follows upstairs.) 

{Warn Motor) 

Jimmie. Good-night, {at the door of 2 room, to 
Harry, who looks out) I forgot to tell you her 
mother — ^her mother taught her a wonderful way of 
arranging the linen closet. 

Harry. You're getting excited. 

{Exit, slam door.) 
Jimmie. Yes, I think I am. Grood-night. Oh, 
what a wife she'll make. 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. ^S 

[Enter Bertha door 1 with candle.) 
{Light out in Room 1.) 

Bertha. Did you lock up, sir ? 

JiMMiE. Er — no — oh no, I'm afraid I forgot. 
{making movement to go downstairs) 

Bertha. Don't trouble yerself. I'll do it. I'd 
rather, then I shall know it's done right. You'd 
better go ter bed and ter sleep. 

{Motor Start — Hand signal.) 
JiMMiE. {hesitating for a moment) Er — er — thank 
you. 

{Exits into room 2.) {light up in room 2) 

(Bertha descends, closes curtains r. puts candle on 
table c. at the hack of the stage, puts up the shutters 
at the window. 

Bang. 

There is dead silence for a moment and then a loud 

report is heard.) 

Bertha. Good 'eavens ! {she goes out of the 
door c.) 

(Jtmmie in shirt sleeves, and Harry rush out with 
candles.) 

{Lights out in Rooms 2 and 3.) 

JiMMiE. Beitha, are you there? 

Bertha, {outside) Oh yes, sir. It's nothing- 
only a motor car burst up close by ! {comes in, goes 
to window L., leaves door open) 



24 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

JiMMiE. Oh, is that all ? I thought it was that 
beastly comet, {throws braces over shoulders) 

{They Exeunt into rooms.) 

{Lights wp in Rooms 2 and 3.) 

{Ent&r Jennings wp c.) 

Jennings, {entering) Excuse me, miss, {shuts 
door) 

(Bertha screams down stage l. of table.) 
Don't be frightened. I am the chauffeur of the car 
which has just had a puncture. 1 saw a light 'ere 
so I came, {dust shoe) 

Bertha. Well ? What do you want ? 

Jennings, {comes down) Would you tell me if 
there's a mechanician anywhere about here, (c.) 

Bertha. 1 don't know what you mean, but I'm 
Bure there ain't. 

Jennings. Oh, are yer — well, d'yer know if there's 
a railway station here ? 

Bertha. There's no station 'ere, the nearest one 
is seven miles. 

Jennings. Phew ! {turns r.) 

; {Whistles.) 

Bertha. Can't yer patch it up ? {comes to below 
table) 

Jennings. Yes — but it's not easy all alone with 
a big car like that. Is there a boy 'ere to lend a 
'and ? 

Bertha. No, sir, there's only me. {smiles coyly) 



Act!.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 85 

Jennings, {smiles in return, takes off cap) Oh, I 
couldn't bear to see such beautiful arms and 'ands 
as yours knocked about. Blow my eyes, but you're 
a beauty. 

Bertha. Gro along with you. 

Jennings. Yes, you are. {putting his l. arm 
round her) Come here ! 

Bertha. Get off. {slaps his hand and pushing 
him R.) You ought to be at 'ome in bed and asleep 
instead of careering about at this time of night 
disturbing respectable people. 

Jennings. Yer quite right:— but what are yer ter 
do with a 'eadstrong young lady {dusts cap) 

Bertha. A young lady all alone at this time of 
night. 

Jennings, {comes c.) A only child and that 
spoilt. I begged 'er not ter go so far, but she would 
do it. I'll get all the blame. I'll lose my job if I don't 
get 'er 'ome to 'er father ter-night. She's not easy 
to deal with, she ain't — she'll play the deuce with me 
while I'm working — she gets on my nerves so that 
I {crosses r.) 

(Tommy enters c, slams door.) 

Tommy, (c) What are you doing, Jennings ? 

Jennings, (r.) Yes, miss, {touches foreloch) 

Tommy. Does it take you all this time to ask a 
simple question ? 

Jennings. I 'ave asked, miss, I 'ave .... and 
there's no chance of any help here. 



26 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

Tommy. Well, you must set to work alone, then. 
How long will it take ? 

Jennings. Alone — a good half hour at least, miss. 

Tommy. Half an hour — impossible, Jennings — 
remember how late it is already. Is there no one 
here who can help ? 

Bertha. No, miss. 

Tommy. Who lives here ? {goes l. to Bertha) 

Bertha. Mr. James Cottenham. 

Tommy. How old is he ? 

Bertha. Twenty-nine, miss. 

Tommy. He ought to be strong enough at that 
age. Where is he ? 

Bertha. In bed, miss. 

Tommy. Wake him. 

Bertha. I can't do that, miss — ^he 

Tommy. Where is his room ? {turns hack to 
audience) 

Bertha. Up there, miss ! {points to room 2) 
The second one, with the lady on the door. 

Tommy, {calling) Mr. James Cottenham. {get- 
ting r.c. to stairs) 

(Jennings crosses to top of table.) 

Bertha, (to Jennings) Well ! I Uke 'er cheek ! 
Tommy. Mr. James Cot-ten-ham ! {louder — at 
foot of stairs) 
. Jennings. She'll get 'im down. 
Jimmie. (r. of post, he appears half dressed, in 



Act!.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 27 

trousers, shirt and slippers) Who's that calling me ? 
{carries candle) 

Tommy. It's I, sir. 

JiMMiE. Oh ! I — er — I beg your pardon, madam. 
{embarrassed — gets jacket from room) 

Tommy. Miss ! 

JiMMiE. I — er — I beg pardon, miss, {jacket held 
on breast) 

Tommy. Is it true that you are twenty-nine years 
of age ? 

f Jimmie looks at Bertha, drops jacket.) 

JiMMIE. It is. 

Tommy. You don't look very strong for your a^e. 

(Bertha giggles.) 

Jimmie. I don't feel very strong — I don't quite 
follow, I — er — may I ask to what I owe the honour. 

Tommy. To the fact that you are the only man at 
hand — will you please come down ? 

Jimmie. But what for ? {puts on coat) 

Tommy. To help my chauffeur repair my car. 
One of the rear tyres has just punctured. 

Jimmie. Oh, so it was you made that bang was 
it? 

Tommy. Yes. I ought to have reached my home 
in London long ago— my father will be dreadfully 
anxious. Oh, dreadfully. So if you will kindly come 
down — oh ! why don't you come down — ^we're losing 
time, {turns down stage) 



28 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

Harry, {entering in bath wraps) Damn it all, 

Jimmie — aren't we going 

Tommy. Ah, there's a fine man 



(Jimmie views Harry with candle.) 
(Harry delighted, folds arms.) 

He looks more promising. You're strong, aren't 
you?' 

Harry, (astonished) Er — I beg your pardon. 
(leans on rail) 

Tommy. I said strong — s-t-r-o-n-g {sfelling the 
word), strong. 

Harry. To whom have I the pleasure of 

Tommy. Will you please come down? 

(Jimmie comes down a little.) 

No, no not you^I mean the one who swears. 

Harry, (to Jimmie) I say — what's up ? {pulls 
Jimmie up to him r. of post) 

Jimmie. A puncture — and this young lady wants 
us to help her chaufEeur repair the damage. 

Harry. Is that what you dragged me out of bed 
for? 

Tommy. Yours was the only house in sight. I 
had no choice. Do come down. 

(Harry moves, Jimmie stops him.) 

Jimmie. We are not mechanics, we know nothing 
about repairing motors. 
Harry. Speak for yourself, Jimmie, I think I 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 29 

know a tyre when I see one, {comes down fast 
Jimmie) 

Tommy. You will only have to follow my chauf- 
feur's instructions. 

Harry. I shall be dehghted — I know a lot about 
motors. 

Tommy. We don't want brain — ^we want muscle. 
{cross c. to Jennings) 

Harry. She's quaint, isn't she ? I like her. 

Jimmie. I don't at all. 

Tommy. It would be very nice of you^ if you 
would make haste. I'm awfully late. 

(Harry quichens pace and reaches stage) 

Thank you. I should have thanked you more if 
you'd come down at once without all this talk. 

Bertha. Can I hold the lantern for the show-foor, 
sir? 

(Jennings smiles and gives her a look.) 

Jimmie. Yes, Bertha. _ 

Bertha. Thank you, sir. 

{Exit L. for lantern.) 

Tommy, {speaking up to Jimmie) I'm awfully sorry 
to trouble you, but I must get to London, mustn't I ? 

Jimmie. Oh yes, certainly you must. 

Jennings. Will you please come this way, sir ? 

Harry. What make is your car ? {crosses up to 
door) 

Jennings. It is a 60 h.p. Napier 1911 modd. 



30 TANTALISING TOMMY. [ActI. 

(Harry beckons to Jimmie with head, Jimmie waves him 
off-) 

{Exit Harry c. to l.) 

(Bertha enters l. with lantern, is standing at door 
waiting for Harry and Jennings to go out. After 
Harry has gone, Jennings ste^s hack and with 
elaborate politeness bows Bertha out) 

{They go out, their voices die away) 

(Jimmie makes to exit, then descends a little and sits on 
stairs, looks down at Tommy uneasily, candle light 
on face, then look r.) 

(Tommy goes r. of table, sits and puts bag on table.) 

Tommy. What are you doing ? {looks at Jimmie) 

Jimmie. I'm waiting till they've repaired your car. 

Tommy. That is very kind of you, especially as 
you would much rather go into your room — bang 
the door and say — be — be hanged to me, 

Jimmie. {coldly) I should never dream of saying 
be — ^be — hanged to you or anybody, (looks through 
rail) 

Tommy, {critically) Yes — I believe you. 

Jimmie. If you would prefer to be relieved from 
the strain of conversation — {making movement towards 
his room) {opens door, rises) 

Tommy. Oh — it's no strain at all, not the slightest 
ef!ort for me. They say at home I even talk in my 
sleep —I can talk about anything you like. 

Jimmie. I'm afraid I'm not interested in any- 
thing, at this time of night. 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 31 

Tommy. Well — suppose we talk about you. What 
do you do for a living ? 

JiMMiE. I am in the Colonial Office. 

Tommy. I might have guessed you were something 
under the Government. 

{Move from Jimmie of annoyance.) 

You have a look of being all tied up with little ^bits of 
string. 

Jimmie. {turning away) Indeed, {fause) 

Tommy. Your friend is better looking than you. 

Jimmie. I never said he wasn't — I know he is, 
much better looking. 

Tojimy. What is he ? 

Jimmie. An artist. 

Tommy. An artist. Looks like it. And I sup- 
pose he talks about blue distance and violet seas. 

Jimmie. {coldly) I never heard him go on like 
that, {sits again. Pause) Will it take long to re- 
pair your car ? 

Tommy. Half an hour. But if you are bored, you 
can go back to bed. You need not feel compelled 

Jimmie. Excuse me, but I do feel compelled. 
This is my house, you are in it and it is my duty to — 
er — to — er 

Tommy, Entertain me ? 

Jimmie. Precisely. 

Tommy. In that case, would you mind coming 
down ? - (he does not move) 

Jimmie. No, I don't think 



32 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

Tommy. If you don't I shall be obliged to come up. 

(rises, goes to foot of stairs) 
JiMMiE. Oh no, please don't (begins to descend) 
Tommy. I can't look up to you any longer — my 

neck won't stand the strain, (gets c.) 

(Jimmie comes down slowly. On reaching the bottom 
he stands looking at her — slight "pause ; he observes her 
look and nervously tucks his braces which are hanging 
down, into his r. trouser pocket and buttons jacket.) 

(ToMiMY puts chiffon on table and goes up l. to cage 
saying " Sweet Siveet " to bird.) 

JiMMiE. Oh, don't wake him, please. He's asleep. 

Tommy, (goes to cat on hearth) Puss ! Puss ! 

Jimmie. Oh, please don't disturb the cat. ' (comes 
c, poses) 

Tommy. Is he asleep too ? Everything's asleep 
in this house, (down l. of table) 

(Pause) 
You look tired. 

Jimmie. Oh, no, thanks ; I'm all right. 

Tommy. Won't you sit down ? 

Jimmie. Oh, I beg your pardon, (quickly gets arm- 
chair for her down r, c.) You see I'm not in the habit 
of entertaining ladies. Won't you take our chair ? 

Tommy, (comes c. and turns to chair r. of table) 
J wouldn't have you change your habits on my 
account. I'll entertain you. You live here. 

(sits R. of table) : _^ 



Act L] TANTALISINa TOMMY. 3r3 

JiMMiE. No not always. 

{Back turned to her) 

Tommy. I don't believe you live anjrwhere. 

JiMMiE. I don't quite follow you. (holes at her) 

Tommy. I mean you^er — only exist — if you'd 
just loosen those little bits of red tape you've tied 
yourself up in, 

(Jimmie feels for braces, shifts candle to r, hand) 
and let yourself go — you know wbat I mean, 
don't you ? I always let myself go. (up) 

Jimmie. Pray don't let me stand in the way. 

Tommy. No, I won't. 

{Leans on table r. lower corner) 

Would you like to know my name ? 
Jimmie. No — I — I don't think so. 

{Sits in arm chair, the seat breaks down ; he attempts three 

times to put it right and finally sits uncomfortably on 

the front rail nursing candlesticfc and looking steadily 

to R., L. leg crossed over R.) ,^ ^ _^ :i^ 

{She looks at him) ~' ' • 

Tommy, Oh ! Perhaps you might be interested to 
know what my father's business is ? 

Jimmie. I'm not interested in anybody's busineso 
but my own. 

Tommy, {go l. a little) I think you're the most 
disagreeable civil servant I have ever met. {go l.) 

Jimmie. As we are not likely to 'see each other 

again ^ ^; 

c 



34 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Aorl. 

Tommy. I sincerely hope not. {turns quickly) 

JiMMiE. I trust your hopes will be realised. 

Tommy. Amen ! 

JiMMiE. I beg pardon. 

Tommy. I said Amen. 

JiMMiE. Oh, I didn't quite catch the last word. 

Tommy. Aie you a bachelor ? {helow table) 

Jimmy. Not always — I mean — that is to say not 
exactly — ^I am engaged to be married. 

Tommy. You don't mean to say that some girl has 
fallen in love with you ? {sits chair r. of table) 

Jimmie. {proudly) Yes — that is precisely what I 
do mean. 

Tommy, (looking him over) I can't understand it 
— ^it's extraordinary. 

Jimmie. I don't see anyi;hing funny in it myself. 

Tommy. Well, you may have good quaUties, 
which can only be discovered on closer acquaintance ! 
{look him over) You are shy. 

Jimmie. I am a man of few words. 

{shot ready.) 

Tommy. I see ; you are a man of action — {up) you 
beheve in the maxim — " Up guards and at 'em." 
{gesture, puts chair hack) 

Jimmie. Excuse me — I do nothing of the kind 
{rise with difficulty) and I have a perfect horror of the 
modern young person who ridicules most things and 
reverences none, {looking to r.) 

Tommy. Do you mean me ? {sits l. arm of chair) 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 35 

JiMMiE. Not at all. 

Tommy. You think I'm badly brought up, don't 
you ? 

JiMMiE. I can't say. I never brought anything up. 

Tommy. Come, say exactly what you think. I 
am ill-bred, eh ? I'm not really, though — I'm only 
used to having my own way. 

Jimmie. {with deep conviction) I don't know 
whether you are ill-bred, but you certainly have a 
most peculiar and uncommon way of sajmig things. 

Tommy. You mean a rude way. 

Jimmie. I didn't say that exactly. 

Tommy, {rises, moves away to c.) But that's what 
you meant to say— you're quite right, it's true. 

JiMJiiE. Then you acknowledge it ? 

Tommy. I said it was true — I didn't acknowledge 
it — I acknowledge nothing. 

Jimmie. {turns to her) You mlist acknowledge 
you came into this house where you know nobody 
and without the slightest ceremony send everybody 
flying about 

Tommy. Well, why not ? At home everybody 
flies about for me, and they don't grumble about it 
either. 

bang 

{She is interrupted by a second report.) ' 

Jimmie. Oh I say, is that your car again ? 
Tomimy. It sounds very hke it. ^^ 



36 TANTALISING TOMMY. CAotL 

JiMMiE. Oh, hang it all ! Is this game going on all 
night ? {go R.) 

(Jennings re-enters c. in over-cdl^ Bertha foUoios, goes 
up L. to windoi^.) 

Jennings, {coming c.) We're done for, miss — 
the other lear tyre's gone now ! 

Tommy. Oh dear^ — oh dear — how exasperating. 
{gets helow table l.) 

JiMMiE. What kind of — er — thing is this you are 
careering about in ? 

Tommy. It's the very latest model and very best 
make. 

Jennings. But when it is messed about by a 

(Harry enters c, Bertha shuts c. door.) 

Harry, (c.) Well, you have got some poor stufE 
on your wheels. 

Tommy. But I don't understand, Jennings — ^how 
could you burst a tyre when the motor's standing 
still ? 

(JiMMiE speaks aside to Harry.) 

Jennings, {up l. c.) I'm sure I don't know, miss : 
it was this gentleman who insisted on 

Harry. I hope you don't mean to infer this new 
calamity is my fault. 

Jennings. I do, sir. 

Harry. I thoroughly understand motors [I 
know what I'm about and I assure you:, miss — 

{Cross L. exit l.) 



Act I] TANTALISING TOMMY. 37 

Tommy. Now there's another half hour to be spent 
here, {sits r. of table) 

Jennings. I'm sorry — it will be longer than that, 
miss ! 

Tommy. It mustn't be longer than that — [rises, 
up to Jennings) I won't have it [cross c.) longer 
than that — do you hear, Jennings ? 

Jennings. Yes, miss. I'm very sorry, but I 
haven't a spare tyre with me. 

JiMMiE. Then you can't go on? , 

Jennings. No, sir, 

{Harry reappears at door l. drying hands on towel 
behind door.) 

JiMMiE, But you must go on. You will be obUged 
to go on. {down a little) 

(Jennings goes up). 

Tommy. Of course we must go on, if we have to 
crawl on — can't we go on Jennings ? Say yea-7-do 
say yes. - 

Jennings. I'll say yes if you want me to, miss. 
But we can't budge an inch — ^we're stuck here, 

(Harry closes door, stands l.) 

Tommy, [to Harry) This is a nice thing you've 
done. I might have known what would happen with a 
man who was always in a blue haze. 

Harry, [getting to l. c.) Blue what ? 

Tommy. I will not take advantage of your very 



38 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

kind hospitality any longer. I shall go to the hotel 
here, if you will be so good as io direct me. 

JiMMiE. The hotel. What hotel? 

Tommy. The nearest hotel, of course. 

JiMMiE. The nearest hotel. 

Harry, {go l.) Delightful. 

(Bertha laughs, Jennings grins, Jimmie laughs dis- 
mally.) 

Tommy. What have I said that is so extraordinary? 

Jimmie. There's not even an inn here. 

Tommy. What a place ! 

Harry, It is picturesque . . . but from the 
tourist's point of view. . . rather inconvenient. 

Tommy. Well then, Jennings must take care of the 
car while you accompany me to the railway station. 

{General laughter — forced from Harry and Jimmie.) 

Jennings, {comes down to her c.) The nearest 
station, miss, is seven miles away, {retires up again.) 

Harry. Through the dark woods. I told you, 
Jimmie, how inconvenient this place was for every- 
body. 

Jimmie. Yes, I didn't take this place for everybody's 
convenience, {up and down) 

Tommy. There's only one thing for me to do. 

Jimmie. I shall be happy to lend you a lantern. 

Tommy. A lantern — what for ? 

Jimmie. You will need it going through the woods, 
and you can't get to the station any other way 



ActL] TANTALISINQ tommy. 39 

Tommy. You don't suppose I'm going to walk ten 
miles 

JiMMiE. Seven • 

Tommy. Nor seven miles througli the dark wood, 
at this time of night, do you ? 

JiMMiE. Then what are you going to do ? 

Tommy. I am going to sleep here ! {takes coat off, 
puts it on arm of chair with much dignity and as though 
the simplest thing in the world) 

(Harry delightedly claps hands and goes l.) 

JiMMiE. Oh no, no ! I couldn't hear of it ! 
Tommy. Why ? 

JiMMiE. Er — ^you can't — er — I can't — er — er — ^you 
— er — ^it's out of the question. 

(warn band) 

Tommy. And why, pray ? 

JiMMiE. Why ? Because in the first place- -er — 
er — I have no room, and in the second — er — er 

Harry. Go on Jimmie. 

JiMMiE. it is not the correct thing for a young 

man to put up a girl he doesn't know for the night. 

Tommy. Well, that is your own fault — you very 
rudely refused the introduction which I offered. 

Harry. I'll soon put that right. I'll introduce 
you. This is Miss Pepper, 

(She bows, Jimimie bows.) 

only daughter of T. H. Pepper & Co., Ltd.— the great 



40 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

IS 

tea people. Commonly known to her intimates as f 

Tommy. 

Tommy, {to Harry) How do you know that ? 

Harry. Jennings informed me wliile we were 
doing the car. 

Tommy. Yes, everybody calls me Tommy — you 
may both call me Tommy. It's my name. You see 
papa expected a boy, and when I came he was fear- 
fully disappointed and would insist on calling me 
Tommy 

JiMMiE. Extraordinary story ! 

Tommy. although my mother christened me 

Evangeline. But I couldn't go through Hfe an 
EvangeUne, could I ? 

JiMMiE. No, I suppose not, I really don't know. 
{nose in air) 

Harry. Now, you know, you've got Pepper & 
Co.'s tea in your house to-night. 

JiMMiE. I take my tea in the afternoon. I don't 
want it so late at night. 

(Tommy turnsand goes up stage in disgust to Jennings. 
on L. of him in window) 

Harry, {cross to Jimmie r. c.) {in low tones, not 
wishing Tommy to hear) It is quite certain that we 
can't turn Miss Pepper out. 

Bertha, {in same tone) Of course you can't, sir. 
{crosses to R. c.) 

Jimmie. {in same tone) Who's asked you ? 
(crosses c. between them) 



ActH.] tantalising tommy. 41 

Harry. You say you have no room — that's 
nonsense — you can give up yours. 

JiMMiE. No I can't possibly, I'm not going to. 

Bertha. Yes — I changed the sheets this morning. 

JiMMiE. I don't care if you changed the carpet. 

Bertha. Shall I lend her one of your pyjamas, sir. 

JiMMiE. Quiet ! {pulling her to him) Haven't 
you a nightgown of your own ? 

Bertha. No, sir, it ain't come home from the 
wash, {goes to stairs c.) 

JiMMiE. Can't you run round to your mother'^? 

Bertha. Mother wears flannel ones, sir ! 

JiMMiE. {turning to her by foot of stairs) Quiet ?■ 
(looks at Tommy and kicks leg behind him) {Whispers) 
Let her have one of the new blue lot. In the 
bottom drawer. 

(Bertha goes upstairs, exits, room 2) 

{returns r. c. pose — aloud — despairingly) WeU, I 
give up my room — and what then ? 

Harry. Then you must lend the, tandem to 
Jennings. . 

(Tommy to doum l.) 

JiMMiE. Jennings can't sleep on a tandem. 

Harry. We don't want him to sleep, {crosses c.) 
He will ride to the station, take the two o'clock train 
which reaches London at four in the morning ; he will 
get to your Garage, Miss Pepper, at twenty minutes 
past four, select one of the twelve cars 

Jevimie. Twelve! 



42 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

Harry, {to Jimmie) — Mr. Pepper has twelve — 
put on full speed and arrive here at six o'clock in the 
morning to carry back to Pepper & Co., Ltd., his 
little lost packet of tea. {up c.) 

(Tommy la'ighs. Harry goes top of table) 

Tommy, That will do very nicely. 

Jimmie. It's the best we can do for you. {goes r.) 

(Bertha enters on stairs) 

Tommy. We — I don't see that you are doing any- 
thing, {picks up hag and chiffon from table) {to him c.) 
You wouldn't have thought of that. 

Jimmie. Then it's understood, Miss Pepper 

Tommy. Tommy. — {comes c.) 

Jimmie. Then it's understood, Miss Tommy, that 
at six o'clock to-morrow morning, you will leave in 
one of your twelve father's — father's twelve cars 
for — — 

Tommy. Yes, that's right, at five minutes past six 
. to-morrow I shall be gone. 

Bertha, {appearing and coming down stairs c. on 
her L.) The room is ready, miss ; if you'll come with 
me, sir, I'll show you where the tandem is. {cro'^ses 
to L.) 

Jennings, {doivn l. of table) It's very hard to 
ride a tandem alone 

Jimmie. {cross c.) Bertha, don't forget to wake 
me to-morrow morning at a quarter to six. {puts 
candle on table l.) — Tea and toast.. 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 43 

Harry. Yes, and hot water for me — and a tanger- 
ine as usual. 
Bertha. I won't forget, sir. 

{Exit L.) 

Jennings. G-ood night, miss— I'll be in time, J 

{Exit l). 

(Harry drops down l.) 

JiMMiE. {to Tommy.) Bertha will show you — to 
my room. 

Tommy. My room, if you please. : 

{Gets coat from chair, goes to stairs.) 
Harry. Her room. 

(JiMMiE looks at Harry.) 
JiMMiE. Bertha ! 
Harry, {repeats) Bertha ! (below table) 

Bertha enters l. with lighted candle) 

JiMMiE. Show Miss Pepper to her room. 
Harry, {repeats) Miss Pepper — to her room. 

(Bertha going upstairs crosses in front, up stairs fol- 
lowed by Tommy.) 

(Harry bows repeatedly to her as she goes upstairs.) 

Harry. Good night, Miss Pepper. Miss Tommy, 
good-night, good-night. 

(JiMMiE disgusted.) 

JiMMiE. Don't make an ass of yourself, {when 



44 TANTALISING TOMMY, [Act I. 

Tommy o§) You've got me into a nice scrape with 
your bungling ! 

{Enter Bertha from room 2 — laughing) 

Harry. Is it all right ? {cross c.),^ 

(Bertha shrieks with laughter, cross c. between them.) 

JiMMiE. {alarmed) What's the matter, what did 
she say ? Her mother said she was Uke this, {fats 
her hack) 

Bertha. She — she — it's those pyjamis, sir. 

{Shrieks with laughter and crosses l. and Exits l.) 
(Harry crosses l. after her and shuts door l.) 

JiMMiE. (looks up to his room alarmed) I say, 

Harry 

{When Bertha is off.) 

Harry. You know the rear tyre ? (l. of table) 
JiMMiE. Yes, what about it ? 
Harry. I did it on purpose. 

(JiMMiE dumbfounded r. of table.) 

JiMMiE. What — on purpose ? Punctured the tyre 
on purpose ? 

{Sits R. of table.) 

Harry, {looks off — h. of table) Hush! Millions 
of pounds are lodged here to-night. Not if I had to 
puncture every tyre on the motor would I have those 
millions sleep in any other house to-night. 

JiMMiE. Why ? 



Act I] TANTALISING TOMMY. 45 

Harry. Because Miss Tommy is probably for 
me, the stepping stone to fortune. 

JiMMiE. {slowly) You're gone clean — stark — star- 
ing mad ! 

Harry. You haven't sense enough to be mad. 
{throws tobacco tin into fireplace) 

(JiMMiE Starts.) 
She's the most delightful — charming — quaint Uttle 
thing in milhons I've ever seen {crosses away to r.) 

JiMMiE. Nothing in millions has any charm for me. 

Harry. Ah ! You've no imagination. 

JiMMiE. Imagination you call it — brainless fiction. 

Harry. Very well, then — let me give you the 
common-sense reahty. {up to him, looks over r. 
shoulder) One night by a stroke of unheard-of luck — 
a rare httle humming bird Ughts on our tree. 

JiMMiE. I don't hke humming birds, and I wish 
she'd go and hum somewhere else. 

Harry. Don't you Hke Tommy ? 

{tvarn curtain) 

JiMMiE. No — I don't Hke Tommy! 

Harry. Oh, well, you've no taste — ^but no matter — 
{preparing to go upstairs) — as it is — my fame will 
come through Tommy. I shall paint the Tea King's 
portrait ; {going upstairs) it will be a speaking Hkeness — 
a masterpiece — the world will say '' This man is a greaf 
artist" — the world — ^will say- 

JiMMiE. {rise c.) Where am I going to sleep to- 
night ? 



46 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

Harry. In her motor 

JiMMiE. Oh, I say. (protests) 
Harry, {top landing) You might do worse than 
asleep in a bed that cost a thousand pounds. 

{Exits into room 3.) 

(JiMMiE rises, looks round, then turns up collar, goes 
up c, looJcs round for something to put on neck, takes 
cover from birdcage as comforter and Exit c.) 

Bertha, {entering l. followed hy Jennings) No, 
no, no, Mr. Jennings, I can't think of it. I can't 
really, {puts l. lamp out on wall, first steadying bird- 
cage) 

Jennings, (by door l.) I'll give you the time of 
your life — What a chance. A tandem ! And I'm so 
'andy with the peddles. We'll 'ave a beautiful ride as 
far as the station, the moon shining in our eyes. 

Bertha, (c.) Shall we 'ave the moon ? (get 
candle from up c. comes c.) 

Jennings. Yes, all you 'ave to do is to sit behind 
— and enjoy yerself. 

Bertha. It'll be just Uke one of them stories in 

the Princess Novelette — but — I'm afraid — I 

{crosses r. puts out r. lamp) 

Jennings, {comes c.) Now what 'ave yer got 
into yer little 'ead now ? You've got nothing to risk. 
We shall be at the station at two, take the train, 
and you shall travel first class, my gurl. 

Bertha. First class ! {loudly) 

Jennings. Hush ! Yes, first — we shall be in 



Act I.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 47 

London at four o'clock and I'll take out our six cylin- 
der Mercedes and get yer a millionaire's run at sixty 
miles an hour ! 

Bertha. Sixty miles an hour ! Eh, something 
might 'appen ! {wp stairs a little) 

Je»nings. {foot of stairs on l.) Yes, one of two 
things might 'appen. We shall be either smashed up 
or arrive 'ere before any one knows you haven't been 
sleeping peacefully in your little white bed. 

Bertha. Go on with yer, IVIr. Jennings, {smacks 
his hand) 

Jennings. Well, come on. {smacks her) Come 
on, come on. {follows her upstairs) She 'oo 'esitatea 
is lost. 

Bertha. Wait a minute while I get my 'at. 

(Bertha takes hat from peg on door and coming to c.) 

Jennings, Pst ! Some one coming. 
Bertha {crosses) l. Let's come out through the 
kitchen. ^ 

{Exit L.) - 

(Jennings puts out candle and stands a moment whist- 
ling indifferently. Then saunters off l. shutting door,) 

{Slight pause.) 

(Jimmie enters from c. with his coat collar turned up, 
is taken with a violent fit of sneezing — three sneezes 
and blows nose.) 

(Harry appearing at the door of his room.) 

Harry. Is it you making that row? % posts) 



48 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act I. 

JiMMiE. I was only sneezing and blowing my 
nose. I can't sleep in that car, it's an open one. 
{tights candle on table l.) 

Harry. You should have covered yourself over. 

Tommy, {at her door — she is wearing Jimmie's 
pyjamas — bus,) Oh, do please be quiet. I am 
accustomed to having quiet when I go to bed at home. 

(Harry softly closes door, exits on tiptoe.) 

JiMMiE. I am very sorry, {blows nose) I beg 
everybody's pardon, {pulls tablecloth off table, knock- 
ing chair over) 

Tommy. What are you doing now ? 

JiMMiE. I'm accustomed to having a small Hght 
in my room, {crosses to chair with candle and sits) 

Tommy. I think you'd better put it out. Where 
there's hght there's talk. 

JiMMiE. But I'm accustomed 

Tommy. Ssh ! 
(JiMMiE sneezes out light, all is now silent — Tommy 

closes door.) 

CURTAIN {No picture) 

1st and 2nd ca^Z Jim mie l. Harry r. Tommy ?oo^ ow< 
from door 2. 3rd call Jimmie l. Harry c. Tommy on 
stage R. 

Time : 31 minutes. 



ACT II 

Scene. — The same as in Act I. It is 10 a.m. 

As the curtain rises Jimmie is discovered fast asleep 
in an armchair in the r. centre of the stage, head 
■pilknved on green cushion, mouth wide open, rug 
round knees. Enter Harry from room 3 at 5th 
stroke. The clock strikes 10. 

Harry, {catching sight of Jimmie, calling) Jimmie ! 
(Jimmie does not stir) 1 say Jimmie. (comes down 
stairs, advancing, opens curtains at R. window, removes 
rug, drops it r.) Wake up, old chap, [shakes him 
on his r.) 

Jimmie. Oh, don't mother ! {waking with a 
start) Hallo ! What is it ? {throws o§ table cloth, 
which Harry takes) 

Harry. Morning. 

Jimmie. Morning, morning, (looking round at 
table cloth) What am I doing here ? 

Harry. Sleeping, {up to window L., open shunters, 
puts cloth on table in window) 

Jimmie. I must have slept in this chair all night. 

Harry. Of course you have. 

Jimmie. But why — how ! {starting up) By 
Jove ! —now I remember, what time is it ? , v^ 

49 p 



fiO TANTALIISNG TOMMY. [Act II. 

Harry. Ten o'clock ! 

JiMMiE. Ten o'clock — then she's gone ? 

Harry. Who ? Tommy ? 

JiMMiE. Yes, Miss Tommy. 

Harry. I suppose so. I say, old chap, we've had 
no breakfast. 

JiMMiE. No breakfast, I told Bertha to call me 
{moves c, runs into chair c.) What's this chair doing 
here ? {picks it up) Awful mess this room's in — look 
at the cards all over the place. I told Bertha to call 
me at six o'clock this morning {calling cross l.) 
Bertha ! {to Harry) Oh, what a night I've had, such 
a nightmare, {shut door l.) 

Harry. Nightmare ! Ah ! but I had a beautiful 
dream last night, {dotvn c.) 

JiMMiE. More of your silly fiction. 

(Harry holds Jimmie's coat.) 

Harry, {sitting on lower end of table) I dreamt I 
saw a great avenue of tall majestic trees and there 
walking together were Miss Tommy and your friend 
Harry. We were married. 

JiMMiE. {on his L., awestrucJc) Oh, my lor I How 
awful ! 

Harry. Yes, and there were lovely golden-haired 
children playing on a green velvety lawn 

JiMMiE. Oh, how sickening ! 

Harry. And on the threshold of this Norman 
castle — ^Ruskin would have kissed every stone of that 
Norman castle 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. SI 

JiMMiE. Poor devil ! What a grind! 

Harry, {in a matter-of-fact tone) I feel sure it was 
Norman, {resuming the previous dreamy tone) You 
{rise) were standing in a suit of pure white flannel 
with a dash of red carnation in your buttonhole 
■{Stands l. c.) reveUing in the sylvan scene. 

JiMMiE. What a rotten dream ! {opens door L.) 
"Bertha ! Bertha ! Oh, what a night I've had. 

{Shuts door l.) 

Harry. You're always thinking of yourself. Fm 
hungry ! 

: {Up to window L.) 

JiMMiE. Bertha will soon set that right. Every- 
thing is right now my nightmare is over, she's gone. 
{to c. puts bird cover in chair c.) 

Harry, What a pity! and without waking you — 
very nice of her I call it — she's a darHng. 

JiMMiE. {picJcs up rug and puts it by foot of stairs) 
Now she's gone I agree with you, she's a darUng. 
{cross R. going upstairs) I'm off to my room to have a 
wash and dress. I think I shall put on my flannels — 
Elsie has nevei seen me in flannels. 

Harry. Well, do make haste. I'm famished., 

JiMMiE. Find Bertha, will you — I shan't be long. 

( JiMMiE at the door of his room. He opens the door. 
A scream from Tommy is heard within, and glass 
crash, he pulls door to quickly. Harry l. of table.) 



52 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act EL 

JiMMiE {he shuts the door, rushes down stairs, falling 
into Harry's arms c.) Harry, she's there ! 

Harry, (l.) So I heard. 

JiMMiE (r. c.) Harry, I've coimnitted a fearful 
indiscretion. ^ 

Harry. You have, {sit r. side of taUe) 

JiMMiE {goes upstairs, stands at her door r. of it 
— Jcnocks timidly) Are you there, Miss Pepper ? 

Tommy, {voice) Hullo ! Are you there, Mr. 
Cottenham ? 

JiMMiE. I thought your people were to come for 
you at six o'clock this morning, {through keyhole) 

Tommy, {voice) I thought so too. 

JiMMiE. Well, it's ten o'clock now. Two minutes 
past. 

Tommy, {voice) Yes, I know. * 

JiMMiE. What does it mean ? 

Tommy, {voice) That they haven't come. 

JiMMiE. {faces front i?npatiently) Are you. . . . 
Have you no intention of returning to London to-day ? 

Tommy, {voice) Of course I have. I'm dressing 
as quickly as I can. 

Jimmie. Good business f 

Tommy, {voice) Just as polite in the morning as 
you are at night. 

(Jimmie comes down stairs on to stage r., cross to win- 
dow L.) 

Harry, {calling) Good morning ! , ^ ^ ^ 



AotIL] tantalising tommy. 53 

Tommy, (voice) Oh, good morning, Mr. Killick. 
It's so nice to hear a friendly voice. 

Harry, {to Jimmie aside) I'm getting on. {to 
Tommy) What do you take for breakfast ? 

Tommy, {voice) Tea, of course. 

Harry. I'll have some made for you. 

Tommy, (voice) Thank you. 

Harry, (to Jimmie) You would never have 
thought of that, (go r.) 

Jimmie. (arranges braces in window) I can only 
think of one thing. The Tathems will be here at 
11 o'clock and 

Harry. And I can only think of one thing. That 
s weet Httle thing, the daughter of millions is still here, 
you don't know my luck — smile, Jimmie, smile. 

Jimmie. Smile, how can I possibly ? (bangs head 
on bird-cage) Ah ! How can I possibly smile. 
{bird-cage swings and catches him again) Ah ! ! ! 
{putting on coat upside down, comes l.c.) 

Jimmie. I've sat up in that beastly chair all night 
— my head aches — my back aches — that sweet Uttle 
thing as you call her won't go — nobody comes for her 
— nobody wants her — everything's wrong. (sits 
chair r. of table, leans on table) 

Harry, (c.) Everything's right, (dig him in 
ribs) 

Jimmie. Now don't go on like that, Harry. You 
— you — (shivers) can't you see my position ? Sup- 
pose Mr. Tathem— who thinks I'm here alone, should 
make his appearance and find this — this tea girl 



S4 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act XL 

here — ^he won't listen to an explanation — he'll dra\^ 
ids own conclusions — and — ^and 

Haery. (r.c.) Oh, I know — the sort of man who'd 
shut his eyes when passing a statue of the Venus de 
Medici and looks upon mixed bathing as the height of 
immorality — nasty minded beast ! {goes r.) 
: JiMMiE. {rise to go to Harry) That horrible 
girl must go. 

Harry. Well, she must have some breakfast be- 
fore she goes. Find Bertha and tell her to make some 
tea at once. 

JiMMiE. Yes . . . yes ... I will. ... I can't 
make' out where she's got to. Do you think she's in 
her room? {calling) Bertha . . . Bertha . . , 
{goes to room l. knocks) Think I might look in ? 
(does so) I don't understand it — she's not in her 
room — she never did this before, {notices coat) 0\ 
I say what have I done ? {futs it right) Things used 
to go along peacefully and quietly^ now everything 
is wrong, {gets l., o'pens and shuts door l.) 

Tommy, {entering from, room 2 descends, stairs) 
Good morning Mr. Kilhck. {comes c.) 

Harry. Good morning, Miss Tommy, {shaking 
hands) 

Tommy. I am very much distressed at this delay. 
I don't understand it. Papa ought to have been 
here long ago. 

Jimmie. {down l.) Oh, pray don't mention it. 
It's not of the slightest consequence. 

Tommy, (c.) If I stay heje much longer I shall 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMM;y. 66 

begin to feel I'm putting you out. I can only ex- 
plain the delay in one way. My father's car must 
have broken down. 

JiMisnE. I don't know where your father gets his 
cars, but I do think he ought to try another make. 

Harry, (r.) Can you rely on your chaufieur 
following instructions ? 

Tommy. When he's away from me, I can't rely 
on Jennings following anything but his own incUna- 
tions. 

JiMMiE. Then he's missed the train ; {up to her a 
little) that's as plain as the nose on your face. 

Tommy. The nose on my face is not plain. 

JiMMiE. Beg your pardon, {go l. of table) 

Harry. I hope you slept well ? 

Tommy. No, very very badly. 

JiMMiE. Wasn't your bed comfortable ? 

Tommy. Oh, the bed was all right, {to Jimmie) 
But you have a duck which quac-quac-quac-quacked 
the whole night long. 

Harry. Yes, that's Frederick. He has a great 
sorrow 

Jimmie. We ate his wife a week ago, {looks to 

R.) 

Tommy, {to Jemmie) Please don't look as if you'd 
like to eat me. {shrinks to Harry) 

Jimmie. I'm sorry. I'm nervous this morning — 
frightful nightmare last night. 

Tommy. You must have been sleeping on- your 
back. 



66 TANTALISING TOMMY. fAcTH- 

JiMMiE. No, I was sleeping on my feet most of the 
time. 

(Pause) 

Tommy. Excuse my asking, (Harry attentive) 
but do you have breakfast in this house ? 

Harry. Jimmie ! Breakfast — breakfast {com- 

mandingly — go r.) 

Jimmie. {cross c.) I'm awfully sorry. I can't 
find my servant and I really don't know how, to get 
breakfai^t ready. 

Tommy. I do. I'll prepare breakfast for you. 

Jimmie. Thank you very much — it's really very 
kind of you. 

Tommy. Take care, Mr. Cottenham; don't forget 
yourself and be nice to me. 

Jimmie. Why ? 

Tommy, (taking a seat r. of table) Because then I 
might stay. 

Jimmie. Oh ! I can't stand this, (go to Harry 
who throws him off) 

(Jimmie goes to stairs.) 

Tommy, (to Harry) How I frightened him ! 
(rising) Where's the kitchen ? 

Harry. I'll show you. (going to door l. 1.) 
Let me help you. 

(Tommy goes out l., Harry about to follow l.) 

Jimmie. Harry (on stairs) 
Harry, (stops) Yes — (in doorway) 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 57 

JiMMiE. {from staircase, very humbly) Harry, 

do you mind if I use your room ? 
Harry. Not a bit, old man. {shuts door) 
JiMMiE. Harry ! And could I have a collar ? 

(r. of post) 
Harry, {loohing in again) One. {shuts door) 
JiMMiE. Harry — and a tie. {through l. of post) 
Harry, (looks in again) I've got it on. 

(Exit Harry, l. Laughter and talk from Harry and 

Tommy in kitchen, also clatter of dishes.) 

(JiMMiE goes slowly to Harry's room and Exits.) 

{The stage is vacant for a moment. Enter Bertha c. 
from garden vjith the tandem on her r. — picture in 
doorway. She stands a moment at door afsaid to 
enter, then comes in looking hopelessly about, still 
clinging to the tandem — sighs.) 

{Enter Harry with the white table cloth l.) 

Harry. It's all right. I think the sugar's here. 
{sees Bertha leaning against the tandem, pause while 
he looks at her amazed) Bertha ! {shut door l.) 

Bertha, (c.) Yes, sir. 

Harry, (l.) Well. . . . 

Bertha. What time is it, sir ? 

Harry. Half-past ten, you wretched female. Mr. 
Cottenham's been looking for you everywhere. What 
do you mean by this conduct ? {puts cloth on table 
from L.) 

Bertha. Don't be 'arsh with me, sir. I can't bear 



as TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

it. {still leaning against the tandem, her eyes fixed 
on the table cloth) You've got 'im on wrong side out, 
sir. 

{Enter Jimmie from 3 bedroom.) {Feels collar) 

JiMMiE. {as he comes doivnstairs) I can't wear 
your collars — I should think you've got a withered 
neck. 

Bertha, {to Harby — her bade to Jimmie) It's 
wrong side out. 

(Harry keeping an eye on Bertha turns cloth over, 

Jimmie {coming downstairs r. of post with hair 
brushes) So there you are. {reaches itaje, sees 
Bertha anc? goesn, in horror, suying) Oh, my lor' ! 
{sit chair) 

Bertha, {turns slowly and looks at Jimmie uh'^n 
he gets on stage, then in same helpless tones) I've 
brought back the tandem, sir. 

Jimmie. (r.) And where have you been ? 

Bertha, (c) In the woods, sir. 

Jimmie. What are you doing with the tandem, and 
where's the chauffeur ? {rise, come to her) 

Bertha. In London I 'ope, sir. 

Jimmie. What do you mean by " you 'ope," don't 
you know ? 

Bertha. I told him it would end bad. 

Jimmie. Never mind what you told him — tell me 
what happened, {taps bicycle with brush) 

Bertha. Yes, sir, I will^sir, But take me easy, 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 59 

sir. If you are sharp with me I'll cry me 'eart out, 
and I shan'£ be able to tell you nothing. 

Harry, {sits l. of table) Come now, pull your- 
self together, my good girl. 

Bertha, I couldn't 'elp it, sir, it was 'is heyea 
what did it. 

(JiMMiE loohs at Harry) 

JiMMiE. (r.) Did he take you with him ? 

Bertha, (c.) He promised me that we should be 
back before you, was up, sir. I've never been to 
London, sir, and he was going to take me first-class. 
I've never been first-class, sir, and 'e was going to bring 
me back m a motor-car, sir. I have never been in 
a motor-car, sir. 

JiMMiE. Will you tell me what happened ? {puts 
brushes on dresser r.) 

Bertha. We started on the tandem for the sta^ 
tion. 'E did all the work — oh, it was lovely, sir. 
We got to the station all right — long before the 
train ; we didn't know 'ow to pass the time, so he 
took me to see a little pond with the moon shining on 
it. (JiMMiE groans) E-eh, but it waa lovely, sir, with 
the moon shiniiig on the water. 

JiMMiE. {impatiently) Never mind the moonshine. 
What happened then ? 

Bertha. Well sir, then we sat down, 'e looked 
at the water, {looking up ivith an ecstatic expression ) 
I looked at the m^oon. 

JiMMiE. Oh ! I say ! 



60 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

Bertha. And 'e talked on and on and on — my 
word, them London chaufEoors can talk. 

Harry. Skip the talk 

Bertha. " 'Ow old are you," ses 'e, putting 'is 
arm around me. "Get off it," I says — " some'un 
might see us." " Honly the birds, an' they're asleep," 
says 'e. (Jim groans and goes R.) {She heaves a 
sigh — slight pause) Then I 'eard a 'orrible screech — 
I jumped up, me 'eart in me mouth 

Harry. It was the London train coming into the 
station. 

Bertha. Yes, sir, it was, sir. 

JiMMiE. He ran for it. 

Bertha. Yes, sir. We both ran for it. 

Harry. And you missed it. 

Bertha. We did, sir. 

JiMMiE. Then at what time did the silly fool 
start ? 

Bertha. There was no train till six o 'clock in the 
morning, sir. 

JiMMiE. Six o'clock — then he would reach London 
at eight. What time is it now ? {looking to r.) 

Harry. Twenty-five to 11. He can't be long 
now. {comes front of table) 

Bertha. I'm sure he'll come back, he promised 
to come back to see me, sir. {pushes cycle to r. 
hitting Jimmie on legs — he takes it) 

Jimmie. What the devil Oh, did he ? 

Bertha. You can send me away, sir, if you like. 
{she cross l., Harry goes toivaris Jimmie) 



ActH.] tantalising TOIMMY. 61 

JiMMite. {look at Harry) Oh, I say, look at her. 
{to Bertha) Bertha, I'll keep you on if you promise 
to keep clear of chauffeurs in the future. 

Bertha, (by door i..) I'll try, sir. It's an ungrate- 
ful thing to say, sir, but if he asked me I'd go again, 
sir ! 

{Exits L.) 

JiMMiE. With an irresponsible chauffeur like 
that how can we be sure that Miss Tommy will ever 
be called for ? 

Harry. I don't care if she's never called for. 

{Sits E. of table.) 

JiMMiE. Well, I do — ^well, I'll take no chances. 

{Round up c. lifting tandem round, the front ivheel 
nearly hits Harry in the face.) 

(Harry jumps up hastily.) 

I'm going to wire Mr. Pepper that his daughter is 
heie. Come along, you take the back seat — we're 
going Ui^e the wind. 

{Exits L.c.) 

Harry, {following) But I can't go like the wind 
without anything to eat. 

JiMMiE. {outside) Never mind — ^jump up. {bi- 
cycle bell is heard) 

(Jim and Harry cross windoiv l.) 

(Tommy enters with teapot l. followed by Bertha with 
tray.) 



62 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II; 

Tommy. Here's tea. {puts teapot on table) Wliere 
can ttey be ? {up to window e., opens it, brings 
sugar basin to table) 

Ber^tha. (l. of tahle — wKo is helping to lay the 
table) Don't know, Miss Tommy. 

Tommy. Well, I really can't wait, I'm so hungry. 
{throws apron r.) 

{She sits down r. of table and Bertha waits on Jier.) 

(r. of table) Tell me, youVe had more experience than 
I have, {pours tea out) 

Bertha, (l, of table) Oh yes, miss. 

Tommy. Then tell me — ^in your opinion what makes 
Mr. Cottenham dislike me so ? 

Bertha. Oh, I'm sure he don't — who could dis- 
like you, miss ? 

Tommy. I'm sure he does — I wonder why ? 

Bertha. Well, miss, you know he's engaged to be 
married, miss. 

Tommy. Well, I am engaged to be married too, but 
that doesn't prevent me from being nice to other 
men I meet. In fact, if there is any difierence lam 
less agreeable to the man I am to marry. 

Bertha. That happens sometimes — when you are 
too fond of him. {sighs deeply) 

Tommy. Oh, does that make one disagreeable ? 

Bertha. Sometimes. 

Tommy. Then I ought to love him very much, for 
I tease him from morning till night. 

BfeRrHA. Do you, miss. Does he like it ? 



AotH.] tantalising TOIVBIY. 63 

Tommy. I think so. Unless he's pretending. 
You see father's so rich that I shall never be quite 
sure whether it's myself or my money I'm being loved 
for. 

Bertha. That's a nuisance isn't it. (Tathem 
and Elsie fass tvindoiu) That's where I've got the 
better of you, miss, I can be always sure I'm loved for 
myself ; but I wouldn't let it worry you, miss. 

Tommy. Oh ! I don't make myself miserable 
over it. {eating. Bertha holds plate of eggs) 
{While they are engaged in conversation, Tathem 

and Elsie appear, and seeing Tommy and Bertha 

stand hesitatingly.) 

Tathem. {advancing softly hy door) I beg your 
pardon. 

(Elsie smiles on his l.) 

Bertha. What is it, sir ? 

Tathem. {to Tommy) I must apologise for dis- 
turbing you. We have been misdirected and lost our 
way. {comes down a little) (Bertha puts doivn eggs) 
We are looking for Mr. James Cottenham's cottage, my 
good woman. 

Bertha. This is Mr. Cottenham's, sir. 

Tathem. I thought he lived alone, (c.) 

Bertha. Not week-ends, sir. (Tommy looks at 
Tathem) 

Tathem. {coughs, looks startled — turns to Elsie) 
Elsie, go and look at the view. 

Elsie. Yes, papa. 



64 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

(Elsie goes up to door — standing outside, hock to 

audience.) 

Tommy, {turns c.) She can't see the view — there's 
a wall there. 

Tathem. {who has kept an eye upon his daughter 
until she reaches the door, turns) Now, if I may ask, 
how is it 

Tommy. Perhaps you didn't understand me — I 
said it was no use your friend standing there. She 
can't see the view— there's a blank wall there. 

Tathem. That's of no importance. 

Bertha. Excuse me, sir, are you Mr. Tathem ? 

Tathem. I am. It seems that I have arrived at a 
rather inopportune moment, {go r. a little) 

Bertha. We didn't expect him until 12 o'clock. 
Miss Tommy. Oh lor ! and I ain't killed Emma yet. 
{goes to door l.) 

Tommy. What ? 

Bertha. The chicken, miss. 

{Exit L.) 

Tommy. And we all got up very late this morning. 
{turns to him eating) 

Tathem. {splutters, astounded) I should like to 
see Mr. Cottenham, at once. 

Tommy. You know it's quite silly to have your 
little friend staring at that wall? 

Tathem. My daughter, miss; but where is Mr. 
Cottenham ? I don't understand it — why is he not 
here to meet me — why does he avoid me ? 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 65 

Tommy. He can't help it if you come before your 
time, you know it puts people out more when their 
guests come too early than when they come too late. 
(sna'p'pily) 

Tathem. I do not regret having anticipated my 
arrival. It has given me an opportunity of learning 
something (looking at picture) of Mr. Cottenham's 
rural household, {looking round) 

Tommy. Don't you think that your daughter 
might stop looking at that wall? 

Tathem. She is better there. 

Tommy. Oh no, she isn't. Do come in. {pours 
tea) 

(Elsie comes in a little c.) 

Tathem. Excuse me, I should hke to talk to you 
alone. Elsie, go and look at the garden. 
Elsie. Yes, papa. 

{She exits smiling at Tommy c.) * 

Tommy, {eats) I shouldn't stand it — I always 
enjoy myself. 

Tathem. Evidently. 

Tommy. Oh, but you're not interested in young 
people. 

Tathem. But I am interested in you. {to her c.) 

Tommy. Really ? Jimmie will be pleased. 
(Tathem startled) Do you know what has been 
worrying him more than anything else — he didn't 
want you to meet me. 



66 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

Tathem. I can quite understand that, {signifi- 
cant.) 

Tommy. I don't care — a girl in my position doesn't 
care. 

Tathem. Naturally. 

Tommy. Cup of tea ? 

Tathem. No thanks. . 

Tommy. Whiskey aud soda? % 

Tathem. No. {hacks r.) i 

Tommy. Would you hke a cigarette ? 

Tathem. No thank you. 

Tommy. Won't you take a chair? 

Tathem. No, thank you. {looking at broken cha,ir) 

Tommy. Oh, please do. I was always taught 
that it wasn't nice for young people to sit when old 
people were standing, {move from Tathem) You 
don't mind my calling you old, do you — some people 
are so sensitive about their age — ^but I'm sure you're 
too old for that. 

Tathem. You seem to have a great deal to say for 
one so young. 

Tommy. You should hear me at home. 

Tathem. May I ask when you came here, miss ? 

Tommy. Somewhere about the middle of the 
night. 

Tathem. The middle of the night ! 

Tommy. Silly little breakdown. 

Tathem. Breakdown ? 

Tommy. Motor breakdown. 

{Pause in which they look at each other,) 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 67 

Tathem. I have always been given to understand 
any mishap to a motor can be repaired — sujQficiently 
to a,llow one to proceed 

Tommy. I couldn't go on without tyres. (Elsie 
ap'pears c.) So Mr. Cottenham was kind enough to 
let me sleep in his room. 

(Elsie disappears.) 

Tathem. Hem! {coughs violently to cover his 
surprise) 

Tommy. Have you got a cold? 

Tathem, I shall be obliged if you will give Mr. 
Cottenham a message from me 

Tommy, {rise) Oh ! but you're not going — surely. 
{tries to taJce hat. Tathem puts hat and stick behind 
him) Jimmie will be "awfully disappointed, and do 
you know he's such a funny little man, he'll be sure to 
blame me. 

Tathem. He has no one to blame but himself, 
and will you please say to Mr. Cottenham — if he has 
anything to say and has the courage to say it — he can 
say it to me in my department. 

To^MMY. Nasty snappy old thing, {cross r.) I'm 
sorry for Mr. Cottenham if he's going to be your son- 
in-law. {upstairs) 

Tathem. What did you say, miss ? {cross R.) 
' Tommy. Nothing. 

Tathem. What ? 

Tommy. Nothing. ^ _ _ 



68 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act XL 

(Tommy sings " Yip-I-addy-I-ay ! " and exit into room 
2 slains door, still singing.) 
Tathem. {reflects — going to door — calling) Elsie ! 

(Tommy stops singing.) 
{enter Elsie at q.) 

Elsie, {comes r. c.) Yes, papa ? {smiling) 

Tathem. (l. c.) My dear child, I know how sensi- 
tive yon are, and I want to prepare you, for 

Elsie. For what, papa ? 

Tathem. For a very serious thing. 

Elsie. What about, papa ? 

Tathem. Your marriage with James Cottenham — 
it can never be. 

Elsie. Oh papa, and I was so looking forward to 
getting married, {closes eyes) 

Tathem. {catches her back of hand and patting her 
hand comes a little r.) Now Elsie, I implore you not 
to faint here. Do try and wait till we get home — 
it's very awkward in another person's house. 

Elsie. I won't faint, papa, if I can help it. 

(Jimmie and Harry pass window l.) 

Tathem. Be brave my child, be brave. 

Elsie. Yes, papa — ^I will, but what's happened. 

{Enter Jimmie c. followed by Harry who boUs — door 
open) 

Jimmie. So glad you've come, sir. (hand out to 
Harry who bolts ; he hastens towards them) How do 
you do ? But what a surprise, I didn't expect you so 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 69 

early — {tries to conceal his embarrass tnent — putting 
on coat, gets his hand caught in l. pockei) I've been 
bicycling and got most fearfully hot. 
Tathbm. Well, here we are. 

(Tommy appears at room door.) 

JiMMiE. {nervously) Yes — here we all are — {waving 
Tommy bach) {goes to Elsie, tahes her hand, hesitates^ 
he turns to Tathem) May I ? 

Tathem. {coughs) Yes, if you can do so with a 
clear conscience. 

Jimmie, Eh ? 

{Pause in which Tathem and Jimmie look at each 
other.) 

Oh yes, quite clear, {he is ahout to kiss Elsie) 

Tathem. {quickly) Elsie — {she comes c.) go and 

look at the garden. 

Elsie. Very well, papa. 

{Exit Elsie up c. smiling at Jimmie.) 

Jimmie. Yes, the garden looks beautiful. We 
have never had so many new laid eggs before, {going 
up R.) 

(Tathem shuts door.) 

Tathem. Now sir. 

(Jimmie comes down r. c. uneasily.) 

Jimmie. I'm so glad you've come — isn't it a dear 
little place ? 
Tathem. (l. c.) Charming, {turns up stage) 



10 TANTALISING TOMMY. [ActH, 

Just as you described it in your letter — every detail 
of it. 

JiMMiE. Did you have much difiSculty in finding 
the house ? 

Tathem. None whatever. 

JiMMiE. {Nervously) And — er — who — ^who — ^who 
received you ? 

(Tathem looks at him then Imks away, sitsn. of table J) 
{Sigh of relief from Jimmie rather doivn stage r. c.) 

Tathem. Who could have received us, if you are 
living down here alone ? 

Jimmie. {embarrassed) Yes, yes, of course. Per- 
haps I ought to tell you. ... An artist friend — ■ 

Tathem. Ah yes, an artiste friend 

JiMivoE. Artiste ? 

Tathem. I see you have quite an artistic atmo- 
sphere here. But you would never invite your 
fiancee and her father under your roof if there were 
anything — er — {coughs) irregular going on. 

JiacMiE. {emphatically) Certainly not — I'm sorry 
about these cards 

Tathem, You know so well my ideas — how parti- 
cular I am about such matters. 

Jimmie. You are quite right — absolutely right. 
(stands up) I am sorry about these cards. 

{Goes to Tathem.) 
(Tathem rises — Jimmie hacks.) 
Tathem. {ivith sudden change of manner, that 



ActII] tantalising tommy. 71 

completely unnerves Jimmie) Enough of this decep- 
tion, sir. — I've seen her. 

Jimmie. Her — who — who — who ? 

Tathem. Your friend Tommy. 

Jimmie. Oh, damn- ! . I beg your pardon,sir ! 

Tathem. {over to him) That you should bring 
Elsie into contact with 

Jimmie. I assure youT— on my word of honour — 
sir — • — {deals cards nervously l. c. r. down.) 

Tathem. Don't talk to me of hcnour, sir — ^your 
excuses are worse than your conduct — {holds hat in l. 
hand so that mo't of the cards fall into it) that you should 
expose the head of your division, your future father- 
in-law — to the insults of — of a girl called — Tommy — 
(Jimmie interrupts) is beyond endurance— (Jimmie 
interrupts) a man In my position cannot submit to 
such an outrage. 

Jimmie. She is going at once, and we shall never 
see her again. Tommy is going, Mr. Tathem 

Tathem. No, it's I who am going, {puts on hat, 
cards fall out ; calling) Elsie ! {turns to Jemmie) 
my son-in-law must be a man with more acceptable 
connexions — {calling) Elsie 

Elsie, (l. entering) Yes, papa, {doivn c.) {door 
open.) 

Tathem. (l.) We are leaving here at once. 

Elsie. Without having any lunch ? (go to Jimmie, 
who holds her hands.) 

Tathem. Yes. ^ 

Elsie. Without Jamesy ! 



72 TANTALISma TOMMY. [Act II. 

TatheMj Yes — you liave been insulted — your 
father has been insulted — your engagement is broken 
{smngs her to l.) — go to your room, sir. {turns up 
stage with Elsie.) 

JiMMiE. (goes up stairs) Mr. Tathem, I shall die of 
shame, [over bannisters — Tommy looks in from room 
2.) 

Tathem. {seeing Tommy) Ah — ah — I hope you 
will, {waves stick.) 

{He goes, taking Elsie c. to l.) 

Jimmie. {to Tommie) Oh, what did you come out 
of my room for ? 

{Enter Harry l. seeing the tea on table.) 

Harry. At last, {sees Jimmie) You look 
chippy, old man. {sit head of table.) 
Jimmie. I feel chippy. 

(Tommy coines down stairs.) 

Tommy. Hasn't my father come yet ? 

Jimmie. (c.) No — and I don't care if her never 
comes. 

Tommy. Oh — are you getting used to me ? 

Jimmie. No. But as it is impossible for you to 
bring any more trouble upon me {shuts c. door) 

ToaiMY. Why, what have I done now ? 

Jimmie. (c.) I suppose it's hardly worth mention- 
iag. You've only broken off my engagement, {gets 
marmalade fro'^ table — puts sugar into it) 

Tommy. I ? {swings on bottom bannister) 



acth.] tantalising tommy. 7^ 

JiMMiE. You. Mr. Tathem has informed me of 
your very pleasant interview, {sits chair c.) 

Tommy, {cross c.) I tried my best to entertain 
him and make him feel at home, I talked — well, you 
know — just as I talked with you the first time, without 
any ceremony — I tried to be as flattering as possible — 
it was very difficult. 

Harry. I'm sure it was. 

Tommy. You should have heard how he spoke to 
me — he frightened me. 

JiMMiE. {stirring marmalade) Everything — one 
after another has gone wrong since last night. 

Tommy. It'll all come right soon {comes to chair 
R. of table, takes it and sits next to Jimmie on his L.) 

Jimmie. I have my doubts about that. 

{Sees Tommy sitting hy him, moves chair doivn stage, 

she imitates him.) 

Oh, do go away, {takes marmalade, disgusted) 

Tommy. It's curious to me that you don't appre- 
ciate the charm of the unexpected ! The unexpected 
is the one great pleasure in hfe ! 

Harry. And in mine, but for that we must be 
philosophical. 

ToMaiY. Why, of course. Now look at me. 
{touches Jimmie 's shoulder) There are thousands of 
reasons why I should be much more worried than you, 
Jimmie. 

(look from Jimmie.) ^ 



74 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

Mr. Jiramie — Mr. Jimmie. 
JiMMiE. You worried? 

{Warn Motor) 

Tommy. It seems to me that if my coming here 
last night is going to strike every one as it did Mr. 
Tathem 

Jimmie. Of course it will — that is why I am 
compromised. 

Tommy. Then what about me ? I also am engaged. 

(Harry hits table angrily, knocking flats off. Jimmie 
rises and both he and Tommy look at Harry who 
eats egg furiously. Jimmie futs marmalade on table 
L., ficks wp milk jug, crossing r. falls over Tommy's 
foot, shilling milk, he nurses foot leaning on dresser.) 

Tommy. Who knows what Lord Enderby will 
think ? 

Harry. Is he a strong m^an ? 

Tommy. No, weak, especially here, {head.) 

Harry. Lord Enderby should be very much 
upset about it, and quite right too. 

Tommy. Well, instead of worrying my soul out I 
look for the bright side, {look at Harry) I look on 
the bright side. 

{Sings and pushes arm chair. Jimmie piclcs wp apron 
and folds it.) 

Jimmie. You'll surprise me if you can find one. 

(Harry picks up plate.) 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 75 

Tommy, {tnumphantly and as though the easiest 
thing in the world for her) I've done it — this affair is 
going to prove Enderby's love for riie. 
[Motor start) 

JiiviMiE. Oh, what nonsense ! (bored and annoyed) 

Tommy. He'H be furious — he'll be terribly jealous 
of you. 

(JiMiNHE holes alarmed, tries to put apron in drawers.) 

and he'll say a hundred foolish things, and the more lie 

says the more I shall love him. 

{Motor stop) 

{Up to c. door) 

Bertha, {looking through window l.) Here's 
your father on his motor car, miss. 

Harry. She's great, that girl, {pours tea) I'm 
going to put a stopper on Enderby. 

JiMMiE. You'd better put a stopper on yourself. 

{Brushes up^eards with apron, goes r.) 

{Enter Bertha c. carrying live chicken) (Tommy re- 
enters gets up 1,.) 

Bertha. He is fat, isn't he ? {aside to Harry.) 
Jimmie. We shan't want the chicken now. 

(Bertha goes off l. with chicJcen.) 
Pepper, {off c.) Tommy, Tommy ! 

(Tomjiy hides in window ; going to Pepper on his L. 
as Pepper enters o.) 

T0P.IMY. Good morning, papa ! 



78 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

Pepper, {up hy door holding her off) Good morn- 
ing, you naughty girl. I'm very cross with you. Here 
am I 

(Tommy calls his attention to Jim and Harry.) 

Introduce me to this gentleman ! (indicating Harry 
who is hrusMng shoes in dancing attitude.) 
Tommy. Mr. Harry Killick, a great artist. 

(JiMMiE is bending doivn r. brushing dust off his 
trousers. Pepper is astonished at his attitude.) 

Pepper. What is that ? 

JiMMiE. {rising) So sorry, sir ! 

Tommy. Mr. Jimmie Cottenham, in the Colonial 
Office — There ! Now you know them. 

Pepper, {to Jimmie — shakes hands) I am very 
much very obliged to you for all your kindness to my 
daughter. My chauffeur Jennings has told me all 
about it. 

Jimmie. It was the least I could do. 

Harry. We were only too delighted. 

{Crosses c. offers hand to Pepper who puts hat in it ; 
Harry throws hat up on to table up c. and goes l.) 

Pepper. Most kind, most considerate; {hand bus.) 
and now, you must excuse me, gentlemen {hand bus. 
with Jimmie) It is absolutely neceasary that I should 
give my daughter a good acolding-— — 

Jimmie. Yes. 

Harry. No. 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY 77 

Pepper. If I don't do it at once I shall forget all 

about it. And really 

Tommy. She deserves it. {gds on his l.) 

(Harry gets aown l. Jimmie goes wp r. foses.) 

Pepper. I rushed away without leaving word — 
fifty engagements this morning — if I don't return to 
London soon they'll have a special out — disappearance 
of T. H. Pepper — there'll be a fearful drop in tea 
shares. 

{Melts and embraces her.) 

Tommy, this is a very serious matter, and I must 
tell you, my darling, that it would be wrong to get into 
the habit of not returning home at night. 

Tommy. You're getting very severe with me Pappa 
Pepper ! 

Harry. This time, sir, it was Fate 

{Movement from Jimmy) {sits arm chair.) 

Nothing but Fate. 

Pepper. Of course {to Tommy) I' m not angry — 
in fact I might say that I am pleased about it since 
it has given me the great pleasure of meeting you. 
{speaks to Jimmie) 

Jimmie. {with evident ill humour) Believe me, Mr. 
Pepper, I feel quite jolly about it too. 

Pepper. Yes, yes — ^well, you don't look it. 

Tommy. Mr. Cottenham has just had a great dis- 
appointment, (r. of table) 



78 TANTALISING TOMMY,, [Act tl. 

Pepper. Ali ! that's too bad. 

Tommy. He was engaged and now the engagement 

is broken. 

Pepper. The devil ! How's that ? {turns to 

Jimmie) 

Tommy. On account of a misunderstanding with 

his future father-in-law. 

Pepper. Ah, these things will happen ! . ,] 

Tommy. It was about me. {to l, c.) 

Pepper. About you ? {turns to her) 

Tommy. Yes — but it was all his fault. 

Jimmie. Not all ? 

(Pepper endeavours to continue speech to Tommy and 
Jimmie continually interrupts by saying " This is 
my house " and goes r. ejaculating this at intervals. 
Pepper replying : " Yes, hut ifs my daughter " 
etc.) Jimmie. {Leans on sideboard r.) 

Pepper. Tommy {up to her r, c.) I have just 
been giving you a good scolding and I don't want to 
begin again, but! assure you, my darling, it would be 
wrong to_get into the habit of breaking ofi the engage- 
ments of people you don't know. Mr. Cottenham, 
{cross to him, puts out hand, tapping Jimmie on bach) 
excuse me iaterrupting your morning devotions — 

(Jimmie turns) 

You have my sympathy. "'^ 

Jimmie, {not taking hand) What time is it ? 
(gives him milk jug) 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY 79 

Pepper, (look at watch) Eleven 6'^clock. {put^ 
jug on dresser) 

JiMMiE. There's no train till half-past, (cross c.) 
I shall be able to catch up to them before they reach the 
station. I'll go and throw myself once more ( n Mr. 
Tathem's mercy. 

Pepper, {goes up above chair puts hat on table) 
That's right — never say die. 

JiMMiE. Thank you. 

Tommy. Hurry up, or you'll miss them. Run — ■ 
run — can't you run ? 

(JiMMiE rushes out crosses window.) 

There's no go in him. {ivith a little gasp of relief sinks 
in chair c.) 

Pepper. There's too much go in you, young lady. 
{cross c.) Your fiance, Lord Enderby, came" to see 
you this morning. I had a dreadful time with him. 

Tommy. Well ? 

Pepper. Well ! 

TomiY. What of it ? 

Pepper. Wliat of jt ? When he heard that you 
hadn't been home all night he was in a frightful state. 

Tommy. Oh, that's of no consequence. 

Pepper. Isn't it ? He immediately jumped into 
his car to scour the country and look for you and is 
now at the Coleman Dayton's near here. 

Tommy. I don't care. 

Pepper. Lsi—h— la— {turns to Harry) You see 
she upsets her fianc4 just as if he were her father. 



80 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

Harey. Yes, yes. 

Pepper. Tomiii^r dear, we had better be saying 
good-bye now ? {toivards door) 

Tommy. Just a moment — I'll run up to my room 
first, {cross to stairs) 

Pepper. Your room ? 

Tommy. Yes, the second up there — it's my room. 
I must put on my things. I shan't be a minute. 

{She runs quickly upstairs, opens door 2 and exits into 
room 2) 

Harry. Really, Mr. Pepper, I must congratulate 
you on the way you have brought up your daughter. 
She is delightful, {comes l. c. kisses finger tips — 
gesture) 

Pepper. Ah yes — a Uttle out of the ordinary, 
{sits chair c.) but delightful, {imitates gesture) 

(Tommy re-enters from room 2.) 

Tommy, {from top of stairs) Tell me, Mr. Killick, 
frankly, what do you think of dad ? Sporting, isn't 
he? 

Harry. Yes, very sporting. 

Tommy. How old do you think he is ? 

Pepper. Tommy ! 

Harry, About forty, I should say, 

(Pepper beams.) 

Tommy. He's fifty-four. 

Pepper. Hush ! Hush ! {disgusted) 

Tommy. Don't you think the little man wears 



Act II] TANTALISING TOMMY. 81 

well ? And you know he knocks about a good deal. 

Pepper. Miss Tommy 

Tommy. He never gets home before three in the 
morning. 

Pepper. Miss Pepper, [he turns rising) 

(Tommy laughs, exits into room 2.) 

Pepper. She's tantalising, {comes to r. of talUe) 

(Jennings crosses window.) 

Harry. Very ! {down l.) 

Pepper. But you can form no idea of what she's 
really hke here — but when she's at home. 
Harry. I can quite beheve it. {goes l.) 

{Enter Jennings c.) 

Pepper. Ah, here you are. Aie you ready to 
start ? 

Jennings. Very nearly sir. 

Pepper, {smells tea pot by table l.) Not mine. 
{puts it down) 

Harry, I always drink Pepper at home. 

Pepper. Shows your good taste, {cross e.) Have 
you put on those tyres ? 

Jennings. Yes, sir. I just want a Httle water 
for the engine. 

Harry, • {going to the door L.) Certainly — Bertha ! 

(Bertha enters.) 

Bertha. Yes sir— oh ! | 

Harry. Bring some water for the Chauffeur, 



82 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

Bertha, (l. very brightly) Oh yes, sir — at once, 
Bir, 

{An oily smile comes over tne face of the Chauffeur 
as he turns it in the direction of Bertha's voice.) 

(Harry on seeing the Chauffeur's expression stares 
fixedly at him — there is a slight fause during which 
the Chauffeur^s smile quickly fades and he stands 
staring into vacancy.) 

(Harry l. of table.) 

Harry. Did you speak ? 

Jennings. Not a word sir. 

Pepper, {to Tommy) Hurry up, Tommy ! 

{Enter Bertha.) 

Bertha. Here's the pail of water, {imploring look 
at Jennings.) 

(Jennings puts out his hand for the pail c.) 
Bertha. I'll carry it for you. {puts it in l. 
hand.) 
Jennings, {taking it) Oh no, thank you, miss. 

{Exits c.) 

(Bertha watches him go out c. then quickly follows 
him and is drawing the door to gently after her, when 
Harry calls.) 

Harry. Bertha 

Bertha. {mseUy) Yes, sir. {opens door, leaving 

it open) 

Harry. TVnere are you going ? ^ 



Act 11.] TANTALISING TOM^IY. 83 

Bertha. To look for Miss Tommy, sir (going out c. ) 
Harry. Miss Tommy is upstairs. 
Bertha. Thank you sir. {walks with ker nose 
in the air, cross l.) 

Harry. I said upstairs, 

(Bertha exits into kitchen.) 

(Lord Enderby appears at open door.) 

Enderby. (to Harry) Excuse me, but awh — 
{comes down c.) 

Pepper, {turning quickly) It's Enderby — My 
dear fellow, what a delightful surprise. How did 
you manage to ferret us out here ? 

'Harry conies doum l. and sizes Lord Enderby up.) 

Lord Enderby. {takes off cap) I was coming 
back from the Coleman-Dayton's quite sick with 
anxiety when I happened to see your car. Fearful 
fag this business — uses up all a chap's vitality — 
don't you think we'd better put the papers on the 
job? 

Pepper. No, everything's all right. Tommy's 
here, {crosses c. and up) 

Harry lights cigarette.) 

Enderby. Here ! 

Pepper. She's getting ready, and I'm just going 
to hurry Jennings up. {turns) 
Oh, let me introduce you — Mr. Hemy 

(Harry coughs.) 



84 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act H, 

Harry, {correcting) Harry ! 

Pepper. Harry Killick. {aside to Harry) What 
did Tommy say you were ? 

Harry. A great painter. 

Pepper, {cross to Enderby, who rises about to 
speaJc) Ssh ! a great painter. 

Enderby ! Delighted — never heard of him, but 
delighted, {dusts hoots) 

Pepper. And this is Lord Enderby — my — er — 
son-in-law. (Enderby turns) future 

(Lord Enderby fries lo look unconscious.) 

Harry. Dehghted — ^never heard of him — 

(Enderby disgusted) 

— ^but — er — delighted . 

Pepper. You two'll get on well together. 

{Exits c. to L. shuts door.) 

Harry, {haughtily) Won't you sit down, Lord 
Enderby ? 

Lord E. Thank you. No, I am too nervous — I 

{walks up and down r. and up steps) 

Harry. Anxiety — ^no doubt. 

Lord E. {comes r. c-) When the news came of 
Miss Pepper's disappearance — I thought I should have 
died. 

Harry. Oh, how wretched for you ! Ah, that's 
all over now — ^Miss Pepper is in excellent health and 
spirits, {comes c.) I can tell you the whole story in 



Act II.] |.TANTALiSINQ TOMMY. 8S 

two words — just as the motor was passing the door 
of this cottage the four tyres burst 

LoKD E. Four — one tyre, yes — but four — Oh no ! 
{goes R.) 

Hakry. The whole four. 

Lord E. At the same time ? 

Harry. At the same time ! 

Lord E. You must acknowledge that's rather 
irregular. 

Harry. Not at all. What always surprises me is, 
that tyres as a rule burst independently of each other. 

Lord E. Why ? 

Harry. Coming from the same maker, going to the 
same place — running on the same road — they should, 
naturally, burst together. 

Lord E. (r.c.) Ah — should they ? {goes B.) 

(Harry goes l.) 

Very well, but do you mean to say that there's not 
an inn in this absurd place, er — a — a hut, no matter 
how ramshackle, where a young girl could take 
shelter — if — if — if her tyres puncture ? [returns R. c.) 

Harry, [returns l. c.) Not the smallest inn, not 
a ramshackle shelter. But you may rest assured that 
Mr. Cottenham did everything that was possible for 
your fiancee. Then we all made the tea together, 
and passed the time pleasantly awaiting the arrival 
of Mr. Pepper. 

Lord E. Yes, but 



86 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act H. 

Harry. There you have the whole story — chaste 
as an idyll — of this rural adventure. 

LoKD E. {angry) The whole thing is most irregu- 
lar {cross L.) and I shall protest — I — feel quite shirty 
about it — {sits on table l., puts hat on table.) 

Harry. I trust you will not consider me pre- 
sumptuous (c.) but it hurts me to think of that sweet 
girl exposed to the . &torm which I see gathering on 
your lordship's brow. 

Lord E. {rise l. c.) I can't help it. I'm going 
to make a scene — I may break things — I feel it — 
nothing can stop me — I'm going to tell Tommy what 
I think of — of — this — er — rural adventure. 

Harry. It is not for me to interfere — who am I 
that I should offer a man of your experience a word of 
advice ? 

Lord E. Yes — who are you ? 

Harry, (l. c. taken aback) Miss Pepper's con- 
fidant. Miss Pepper has been talking to me about 
you. 

Lord E. (starts) Eh \ 

Harry, (l. c.) Your position is a dehcate one — 
and will require all the force of your subtle nature — 
to avoid a catastrophe. 

Lord E. C — c — catastrophe ? {stutters) 

Harry. I presume you are anxious that your 
marriage with Miss Pepper should take place ? 

Lord E. What a rotten question 

Harry. She is not only delightfully iascinatjng — 
but a great catch {goes c). 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 87 

Lord E. I haven't asked vou for a picture of Miss 
Pepper, sir, I've seen her before. 

Harry. Oh ! but you doh!t know her, Lord En- 
derby — if you feel the slightest resentment at this 
little affair of last night 

Lord E. {emphaticaUy) Resentment — I'm furi- 
ous sir. {go L. and back to Harry) 

Harry. Then push your fury on one side — forget 
it. When you meet her don't make a single reproach 
— smile. 

(Enderby does not.) 

Smile. (Enderby does so) That's it — that's it — 
Harry. And no matter what is said — keep your 
temper. She declared that at the least word, the least 
sign of displeasure on your part, she would break off 
the engagement. Oh, she's terrible, {moves away 

R. C.) 

Lord E. Yes — I know — fearful ! {comes r. c.) 
{Warn band.) 

Harry. Dreadful ! 

Lord E. Thank you. 

Harry. Not at all. Well, I've warned you 

Lord E. Thank you, Mr. er — er — Fm fearful too 
when I lose my temper. I'll do my best to control 
myself, but it'll be extremely difficult — extremely 

{Enter Tommy at the toj) of the staircase. Lord Ende r- 
by goes h.) 

Tommy. I'm ready— AHck ! 



88 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

Harry, {goes up stage to stairs, smiling) Lord Enderby 
lias just this moment arrived. 

Tommy. Hallo — Alick ! 

Lord E. Hallo, Tommy, how are you ? {forced 
smile) {turns to her) 

ToMMy. (who has come downstairs) Quite well, 
Alick, thank you. 

(Enderby go l.) 

Harry. Til leave you. {goes upstair) You must 
have a thousand things to say to each other, {level 
with her by door 1 on her r.) 

Tommy, {to Harry) I hope he's going to be very 
angry with me. 

Harry. He will, if he loves you. {goes up below 
post pointing and smiling to Enderby) 

(Tommy comes down r. puts bag on dresser r.) 

Lord B. {comes c.) What a perfect morning, 
(Tommy astonished) the birds shining, (Tommy aston- 
ished) the sun's singing, everything's ripping, {looks 
to Harry for applause) 

{Exit Harry, smiling, room 3.) 

Tommy. Ahck, I know my conduct has been very, 
very wrong. 

Lord E. {smiling) Oh, we won't talk about that. 
{puts her coat on chair r. c.) 

Tommy. Yes, yes, we must talk of it, {turns to him) 
and I want you to tell me everything — that ia on 
your mind. 



Act II.] TAl^TALISINO TOMilY. . 89^ 

Lord E. Well, I'm thinking if the car goes well 
we shall reach London in time for lunch. 

Tommy. Oh, I don't care about lunch — I have a 
conscience — I know I deserve your reproaches. 
Scold me with all your heart and soul. 

Lord E. {forced smile) I don't see anything to 
scold you about — " a rural adventure — " 

(Harry peeps in.) 

" chaste as an Idyll " — charming — {imitating Harry) 
{Going l. puts chair l. of table down to foot of table 

(Harry disappears repeating " charming ") 

Tommy. Really. 

Lord E. Really ! 

Tommy, {to r. of table) Then you think it per- 
fectly natural for your future wife to run about the 
country alone at night, and still be away from home at 
eleven the next morning ? 

Lord E. It's impossible to foresee these motor 
accidents, {smiling) 

Tommy. And you accept, everything without a 
word — 

(Lord Enderby nods.) 

— without demanding any explanation from me ? 

Lord E. {smiling, nods, sits below table, cross legs) 

Tommy. But what would you say if I told you 

that I had known this Mr. Cottenham before, and this 

" rual adventure " had been arranged between us 



90 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act II. 

LordE. I should lose my temper, {rise, hacks her 
up c.) 

(Harry loohs out.) 

Tommy, {pleased) Really, you mean it ? 
Lord E, {smiling) No, no, no no. 

(Tommy astonished goes r.) 

Ah ! I said I should, but I don't — I smile and say 
nothing, {folloivs her r.) 

(Hari y disappears.) 

Tommy. Never — never would I have believed that 
you would treat me like this. 

Lord E. Tommy. 

Tommy. You've opened my eyes, now I know 
what you really are. 

Lord E. I say — Tommy — don't rot, — don't 

Tommy. If you had loved me properly you would 
have come here furious with anger, you would have 
tr eated me like dirt — you would have called me a 
good-for-nothing 

Lord E. No ! 

Tommy, Yes. And worse than that — worse than 
that — then casting one last look of scorn and hatred 
on me, you would have said " All is over between us " 
and banging the door in my face you would have 
left me for ever. There ! — that's what you should 
have done, Lord Enderby. {right up to him) Ah, 
how I should have loved you if you'd behaved like 
that ! {go E.) 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 01 

Lord E. {up to her) I swear to you I was going to 
behave like that — the moment you appeared on tliat 
beastly staircase. 

(Harry holes out from room 3) 

I had the greatest trouble to control myself. You 

can ask that beastly artist. 

(Harry disappears.) 

Now I'm going to lose my temper — I am going to 

tell you 

Tommy. Too late, Lord End erby, too late ! {cross 
L.) You've shown you don't care, I shall never 
marry you, Lord Enderby. {round l. and above table 
to c.) 

(Enderby fdloivs to h.) 

Lord E. Tommy ! A row's a row but — you 
don't mean that ! {comes between chair, and table l.) 

Tommy, {up to c. putting on gloves) Yes I do, and 
what's more, I'd rather be like that girl in the Bible, 
I forget her name — who remained an old maid till 
she was a hundred and sixty-seven years old — than, 
marry you. {cross r.) 

Lord E. Oh, I say — Tommy, but you're not going 
to treat ?ne like that Jolmny. 

{Enter Pepper c.) 

Lord E. (l. of Pepper) She's going to hold me 
ofE till I'm a hundred and sixty-seven years of age. 

Pepper. Then you're not going to 

Tommy. No I'm not- — never, .{goes c.) 



92 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act 11. 

Lord E. Miss Pepper 



Pepper, {to Lord Enderby) What have you 
done ? 

Lord E. It isn't what I've done. It's what I 
haven't done. That beastly artist 

Tommy, {wp to Pepper) He has done me the 
greatest injustice, papa. 

(Enderby interrupts.) 
He never reproached me for staying out — he doesn't 
mind the least little bit — ^he's treated me shamefully. 

Lord E. Mr. Pepper, she won't Hsten to me. Will 
you make her understand 

Tommy. What ? — that you were marrying me for 
money — that's easily understood, {cross r.) 

Lord E. {picks up tea cosy in mistake for cap, 
tJiroivs it doivn and gets cap) All this is beastly irregu- 
lar — and I shall cut, {goes up r. c.) 

Pepper. She doesn't know what she's saying — 
she's caught cold. 

Lord E. (bumps into Pepper) Bally irregular. 

{Rushes out c. and to l.) 

Tommy. Idiot ! Idiot ! 

Pepper. And now, my dear, as there appear to be 
no more engagements left for you to break ofi here — 
we may as well go. 

Tommy, (r.) It's all your fault, papa ! 

Pepper, (c. starting back) Eh ! What's my fault ! 

Tommy. You've completely spoilt me — you've 
brought me up to do exactly as I pleased, and every- 



Act II.] TANTALISING TOMMY. S3 

body followed your example — everybody — servants — 
relations — friends {cross l.) all laughed at every silly 
thing I said — all waited to see what silly thing I 
should do next — to amuse them. 

Pepper. And you say this to me 

{Warn curtain.) 

Tommy. Yes ; never in my life has any one cor- 
rected me. I've had to go my own way — and rely on 
my own foolish ideas. I've never had any one to 
resist me. It's exasperating, {goes l.) - -^ 

Pepper, {follows her l.) Will you be quiet ? 
You ungrateful child ! You annoy me. 

(JiMMiE crosses window.) 
Tommy. Ah ! good — {embraces him) that's the 
first nice thing you've ever said to me. {Both down 

L.) 

{Enter Jimmie c, Harry peeps round bedroom 2 door.) 
Jimmie. (limping) I went on the tandem, had an 
awful smash, {sits chair c. puts on coat.) 

(Pepper gets hat from table up c.) 

Tommy. You haven't had any breakfast. You're 
going to be very ill if you don't eat something. 

Jimmie. I saw Mr. Tathem. He called me a 
scoundrel before a whole lot of people. Elsie was still 
in a faint. 

Pepper, {getting c.) Well, we've not had alto- 
gether a merry time of it since you left — my daughter 
has shown Lord Enderby the door. 



9i TANTALISING TOMMY. [Acrll, 

JiMMiE. {rising goes r.) And I don't care a hang ! 
She brought it on herself, and the more unhappy 
she is the better I hke it. 

Pepper, {follows liim r.) I don't see why your 
disappointment should make you so bitter towards my 
daughter. 

JiMMiE. {pause) Are you going? {'quietly) 

(Harry comas down slowly.) 

Tommy. We are, Mr. Cottenham {advances to l. of 
Pepper.) 

JiMMiE. Good — good — but you're not going until 
I've told you some plain truths, Mr. Pepper. 

Pepper. How dare you — how 

Tommy. Papa, I like him. Let him speak. 
{pulls him to c. a little then goes helow table.) 

JiMMiE. As for you, {up to them) {baching them to 
L.) you are the most ill-bred girl I've ever met. 
You go through life like a bull in a china shop abso- 
lutely regardless of the ruin you leave behind, and 
nobody — nobody dares to tell you how insufferable 
they think you. {loohing at Pepper) No one — very 
well. / — / — tell you. 

Tommy, {draws a deep sigh of contentment) Ah ! 

Pepper. Enough sir. {tahes her arm) 
(Tommy pulls her arm away and Pepper faces Jimmie.) 

Jimmie. No sir, it's not enough. (Jimmie knocks 
chair over) You — you think because you are fright- 
fully rich — ^richer than that — that your money can 
make up for everythnig. Well, you're wrong— there 



Act II.] TAXTALISINa TOMMY. 95 

are some crimes that all the Pepper millions couldn't 
pay for. 

Pepper, {shaking his head at him) Sir ! {bobbing 
up and down in rage.) 

(Tommy smiles enjoying every word, evincing delight 

with JiMMIE.) 

(Harry striking angular attitude on stairs.) 

JiMMiE. And if somebody had told you these things 
before it would have done you a lot of good. 

Pepper. How dare you speak to me like that, 
you — you 

JiMMiE. Teapot ! 

{Music.) 

{Exit c, Pepper astounded rusJies after him. Tommy, 
delighted, follows up c, Harry furious leans over 
bannisters, shaking fist.) 

CURTAIN, 

No picture. 
All on for call. 




nj 






TTT 



.2 



ACT III 

Telephone Bell. 

Scene. — A room in the Colonial Office. Windows 
in the background ; hetiveen the ivindoios a desk. 
On the right, obliqued, is a door opening on to the hall. 
There is a desk doivn r. and a door doivn l. leading 
to the Chief Clerk's office. A third desk, left. Jack 
Mason and Ricketts are seated at their desks. 
Mason is reading a newspaper. Ricketts is 
writing — a smile is breaking over his face. Tele- 
phone on desk l.) 

Mason, {at telephone) Yes, sir — yes — ^yes — cer- 
tainly sir. {replaces telephone) {down l. of table L.) 
What absolute bosh ; {throwing down paper) here's a 
fool writing to the pajoers about giving the blacks a 
vote in South Africa — if this sort of thing goes on, it 
will be a distinction not to have a vote. What do 
you say, Ricketts ? ' {no answer) Ricketts. 

Ricketts. {table c. — still smiling) Eh ? I beg 
pardon, old man. {looking up to r. writes more.) 

Mason. I asked you whether you were in favour 
of giving the blacks a vote. 

Ricketts. {looks up — still smiling^ his mind on 
ivhat he is writing — goes on writing) 

?« G 



98 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

Mason. Of course you have no opinion on the 
subject. You write musical lotteries, 

(RiCKETTS hums and conducts hand, face to audience.) 

and have no interest in anything but the merest 
triviaUties. You care about as much for a national 
question, as you do for your duties in ^die Colonial 
Office. 

RiCKETTS. Really, old man — {goes on writing and 
smiling) 

Mason. There's no bitterness in my remarks — I 
am no longer ambitious — ^you are one of these up-to- 
date men who think any means of advancement, or of 
adding to your meagre salaries, justifiable. 

(RiCKETTS ficlcs up Writing paper and reads.) 

RiCKETTS. But really, old man — I — er — yes. {goes 
on writing) 

Mason. Go on with your scribbhng. I should hate 
to interrupt you in the composition of some indecent 
lyric, pray go on. 

RiCKETTS. You haven't interrupted me — ^I've just 
finished a {rises) ripping httle thing — I call- it " I 
don't care what my people say." I'll sing it to you. 
{comes c.) 

Mason. Don't — [gesture) don't sing it to me. 

RiCKETTS. Then I'll read it to you. " I'ni going 
on the stage, I know I'll be the rage, I don't care what 
my people say." 

Mason. Don't — don't — it's av-ful. 



Acrrn.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 9d 

(RiCKETTS is intent on lyric, returns to desk, dancing — 

sits, goes on reading, slight pause.) 
Who's in charge to-day ? {no answer) Mr.' Ricketts, 
I 

Ricketts. So sorry, what did you say? 

Mason. I asked who was in charge to-day ? 

Ricketts. Don't know. Cottenham, I think. 

Mason. He's very late this morning. 

Ricketts. The chief clerk will excase him — 
privilege of a prospective son-in-law. 

Mason. He'll get no privileges from old Tathem — 
he watches him hke a cat. 

{Enter Tathem l. cojnes wp l. g. Both rise — ^Mason 

first, then Ricketts, whohides paper under others,) 

Tathem. Good morning. 

Mason. ^ ^ -, 

_ ^Good mornmg, sir. 

Ricketts.) 

Tathem. (l. c.) Mr. Mason. . . 

(Ricketts sits.) 

Mason {rises, hastening towards him, l, c.) Yes, 
sir. 

Tathem. Will you be good enough to draft a 
letter to Mr. Benton on the question relating to 
Basutoland — have it ready by four o'clock without 
fail an4 I'll pass it for signing on my return. Mr. 
Cottenham not here yet ? 

Ricketts. No, sir. 

Tathem. He's late — bad habit that, {towards 
his door l.) Who's in charge to-day ? 



iOO TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

RiCKETTS. Mr. Cottenham. 

Tathem. Good. Tell him to draft that letter, Mr. 
Mason, as soon as he arrives 

Mason, {with alacrity) Certainly sir. 

Tathem. And don't forget it's to be finished by 
four. 

{Exit Tathem uf l.) 

RiCKETTS. Old fool — ^takes our written opinions, 
presents them as his own — and gets all the kudos. 
(Mason sits again. Ricketts ^produces pafer.again.) 
{Enter Jimmie up b,.) 

JiMMiE. {iirith a preoccupied air, hangs up his hat 
and overcoat r.) Good morning. 

Ricketts. Morning, 

Mason. Good morning, Cottenham. You're late. 

Jimmie. No, I'm not — the train's late. 

Mason. You're not obliged to live in the country. 

Jimmie. Nor am I obliged to listen to your criticism, 
Mr. Mason — and I'd better tell you at once I'm in a 
very bad humour this morning, {sits r. of table R. — 
whacks ruler down) 

Mason. Really. 

Jimmie. Yes. I beg your pardon for encroaching 
upon your prerogative. 

(Mason resents) ^ 

Ricketts. Old Tathem says you're getting into 
bad habits, {rise, l, of desk) 
Jimmie. {startled) He said that ? 
Mason, {rise, brings draft over to Jbimie) He 



Act in.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 101 

was very much annoyed, and — er — lie left .this for 
you to go over — will you be good enough to draft a 
letter to Mr. Benton on the question relating to 
Basutoland. It's to be ready by four o'clock without 
fail, {returns to his desk again and gets off cuffs, sits) 

JiMMiE. Only too delighted. It will keep me 
from thinking, {sits down to ivrite) 

EiCKETTS. {to Mason) Doesn't want to think ? 
{goes above desk l.) 

Mason. He looks out of sorts, 

{Enter Simpson r. u. e., closes door and comes to top 
of Cottenham's desk.) 

RiCKETTS. I wonder what's wrong with him. 

Mason. He's been betting. 

EiCKETTS. Cottenham betting. 

Mason. Betting — And lost. 

EiCKETTS. He would, {goes up to desk c.) 

(Simpson stands above desk r.) 

Simpson. Are you lunching at the oflS.ce to-day, 
sir ? 

JiMMiE. Yes, yes. 

Simpson. What would you hke, sir? 

JiMMiE. What's going ? 

Simpson. Eoast beef, Irish stew 

JiMMiE. Irish stew and a little salad— and a bottle 
of ginger ale. 

Mason. Ginger ! {aside) 

Simpson. Very good, sir. ^ i 



102 TANTALISING TOMMY. [AfrPin. 

JiMMiE. One moment, bring me some brandy with 
the coffee. 

{Exit Simpson r.) 

RiCKETTS. Brandy ! {aside to Mason, me, get hat 
and stick up l.) 

Mason, {wp to Ricketts) (gets hat up l. takes 
off cuffs, puts them on table) If your double duties of 
Government clerk and poet will permit, I propose to 
play you a game of billiards for the lunch. 

Ricketts. {rises) I'll take you on, 50 up. Ta, ta, 
Cottenham. {smicks Jimmie's desk with stick, c,) 

(JiMMiE starts.) 

JiMMiE. Eh ! what ? 

Ricketts. I say, you have got nerves this morn- 
ing — ^I'm afraid you're going the pace, old chap — 
going the pace — the blooming pace. 

{They put on their hats, after putting away their paper, 
and are preparing to go out. Enter Simpson up r. 
above desk r.) 

Simpson, {announces) Mr. Killick, sir, 
Harry, {enters r.) Good morning, {up R.) 
Mason. 



-^ , Good mornmg. 

Ricketts. J 

Harry. I hope I'm not driving you away ? 

{Exit Simpson.) 

Mason. Not at all, no at all. 

Ricketts. We have finished a good morning's 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 103 

work, so we can leave for lunch a little before the 
usual time with a clear conscience, {going r.) 

(Harry crosses L.) - • - ', 

Ta, ta, Cottiebags. 

Mason. Dqn't swot too hard. 

(Exeunt Ricketts and Mason up R.) 

Harry. Why, Jimniie, boy, you look completely 
demoralised, {puts hat on desk c.) 

JiMMiE. {rises and goes to Harry beloiv desk 
down R. to c, carries pen) I have every reason to be ! 
I haven't seen Mr. Tathem yet, I wrote out a report of 
twenty-five pages, explaining everything that hap- 
pened at the Cottage, placed it on his desk and I am 
awaiting the result. . . . 

Harry, (l. c.) Do let us talk of something more 
interestiiig. I've just come from the Peppers. 

JiMMiE. (r. c.) You've been to see those people. 

Harry. Why not, they invited me. (blows smoke 
in Jim's face) 

JiMMiE. Then that nasty cigar that you're smok- 
ing 

Harry. Comes from T. H. Pepper & Co. Ltd. ; 
nasty cigar, why it's a Corona — Corona, dear boy. 
The first two I smoked made me quite sick, but I'm 
getting used to them {coughs) I think ! 

JiMMiE. {returns, sits at his desk, writes) You're 
nothing but a lackey— to these, people. 



104 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

Harry, {sits on l. side of r. desk, leaning on r. arm 
towards Jimmie) Yes, I have seen the Peppers — I 
called on them again this morning, because there was 
one point I was not quite clear upon. 

Jimmie. What was that ? 

Harry. Jimmie, you know, the subtlety of my 
mind 



Jimmie, No, I don't think so. 

Harry. How I guess, how I scent at a dis- 
tance 

Jimmie. Put it away, old man. {referring to cigar) 

Harry. Jimmie boy, I have great news. 

JiMivuE. Well ? 

Harry. You've cut me out with that little girl. 
(l. of desk R.) 

JiMMiE. What little girl ? {fist on table) 

Harry. Why, Tommy. 

Jimmie. Now Harry, I {throws down pen) 

Harry. I've no feeling about it. I know you'll 
look after me as you always have Jimmy — you've 
made a great impression. 

Jimmie. Oh, shut up ! 

Harry, {rise) It's not your fault. I did my best, 
but you won — you fascinating dog. {throws ash off 
cigar) 

JiMMiE. {gets down r. cross l.) Now don't annoy 
me, Harry, don't aggravate me. I'd better tell you 
I'm in a very bad humour this morning, {kick 
scuttle) Miss Pepper is nothing to me and I am 
nothing to her. It's a case of mutual dislike, and 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 10« 

thank heaven we shall never see one another again. 
\ {turns to L.) 

Harry. Never? (r. c.) 

JiMMiE. Never : I swear it. 

Harry. I'm not so sure, {turns him round to him) 

JiMMiE. {walking up and down c. excitedly) No, 
no, no ! I'll have no more of it. That — that girl 
came into my life hke a — a raging storm — a cyclone- 
very well — the storm over, I take up my old life again. 
But I advise her — no, I don't advise her — I 

{Returns to desk, sits, ivrites.) 

Harry. All right, all right — calm yourself, old 
man, it was an idea of mine, that's all. {to l. of dssk) 
You shall marry the Tathem girl and don't be afraid, 
you shall remain the mediocrity that you are. Your 
wishes are mine. 

JiMMiE. Do you think Mr. Tathem will change his 
mind ? 

Harry. I'm absolutely sure he will. He will look 
at you closely and say " That face 

JiMMiE. Oh, shut up ! 

Harry. " That gentle manner, those meek eyes 
are not the characteristic of a gay Lothario. And he 
will give you his daughter, this young lady who plays 
" The Maiden's Prayer." {eyes up) 

JiMMiE. Yes, yes ; she does play that, on the 
harmonium. 

Harry. I was sure of it. Miss Tommy plays the 



106 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

b9,njo ! Shs has promised to come and twang the gay 
guitar in my studio, {gets l.) 

JiMMiE. Your studio ? 

Harry. Yes, in St. John's Wood — it's beautifully 
fitted up. 

JiMMiE. You have a studio of your own ? 

Harry. Yes — why not ? 

JiMMiB. Since when ? 

Harry. Since this morning. 

JiMMiE. Oh, shut up Harry ! 

Harry. T. H. Pepper is sitting for me. {come c.) 
I'm launched now, while you continue to grovel — 
you 

{Enter Tathem wp l. Jimmie rises and calls Harry's 
attention to Tathem's presence.) 

However {hows to Tathem, go up c.) ■ 

Tathem. {coming out of his offiis to up l. c.) Oh, 
there you are, Mr. Cottenham. 

Jimmie. {below dssk) Yes, Mr. Tathem. 

Tathem. Exactly — ^you're in charge and you 
make it an opportunity for receiving your friends. 
I have a great deal of work to give you to-day — a 
great deal. 

Harry. I'm of?, {picks up hat, goes up to door 
up R.) 

Jimmie. One moment, Harry, {comss r. c.) 

(Harry replaces hat on desk c, drops down r., looks 
at pictures, sits in chair r.) 

Jimmie. {to Tathem) Mr. Tathem. ... 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. lOJ 

Tathem. (l. c.) Yes, what is it ? 

JiMMiE. (c.) Have you had an opportunity of 
glancing through the little report which I placed on 
your desk ? 

Tathem. I never glance through a report. I 
examine it carefully. 

JiMMiE. I beg of you to read it ! It's unjust that 
I should forfeit your good opinion because Mias 
Pepper 

Tathem. Mr. Cottenham, if the only thing between 
us was the recollection of that young lady's imperti- 
nence, I should let it pass. But I have a certain 
misgiving with regard to you. 

JiMMiE. A misgiving. 

Tathem. Yes, sir. The strange occurrence of that 
girl Tommy coming to your house at eleven o'clock at 
night, and being still with you at eleven o'clock the 
next morning .... 

Jimmie. You will find all that explained on pages 
19 and 20 of my report. 

H VRRY. {comes front of desk r.) Appearances are 
certainly against him . . . but he is innocent. 

Tathem. {crosses to Harry, puts up glasses — 
Jimmie getsL.) Unfortunately the testimony of such 
an intimate friend cannot be impartial. 

Harry. I swear — ^by — ^by — the head of my chil- 
dren. 

(Ji\iMiE coughs warningly and* turns it off by continur 
ing to cough) , 



108 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Aorlll. 

Tathem. {turns slowly to him) What's that ? 

JiMMiE. I think I've tw-illowed a fly, sir ! 

Tathem. Now tell me — that disreputable looking 
servant 

JiMMiE. I take all responsibihty for her. She's 
explained on pages 21 and 23. 

Tathem. That's enough. I'll read your report 
through carefully. 

JiMMiE. You will ? 

Tathem. And if I find in it anything to convince 
me — then I will reinstate you in my estimation. 

Jimmie. {joyfully) Mr. Tathem. {advances, tries 
to take hand. Tathem checks him.) 

Tathem. But as I wish to be sure of bestowing 
Elsie on some one worthy of her, I shall put you under 
observation, and if I hear satisfactory accounts of 
your mode of life, in six months you shall marry my 
daughter, {up to door l.) 

Jimmie. {follow up c.) I'll wait — I'll wait — I 
have no fear of not standing the test. 

Tathem. When I go home, I shall inform my 
daughter. She will immediately sink into a chair 
and faint. 

Jimmie. Oh ! 

Tathem. But no matter, it's a family failing. 

Jimmie. {Goes over to Tathem at door up l.) 
Thank you so much, Mr. Tathem. {tales his hand) 

Tathem. No need to say more. Come to ray 
room, I have some official business to discuss with 
you. {to Habey) I wish you good-day, sir. 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 109 

{Exit L. leaving door open.) 

JiMMiE. {coming doivn to }iAB.B.Y, c.) You nearly 
got me into trouble again. 

Harry. What do you want me to do ? {up to 
him c.) I swore by the head of my children 

JiMMiB. You haven't any 

Harry. Is that any reason why I should love 
them less ? 

Voice of Tathem. Mr. Cottenham. . . . 

JiMMiE. Yes, sir. {turns up l.) 

Harry. Go to your future father-in-law. {up to 
him) 

JiMMiE. Don't be a fool, Harry. 

{Exit JiMMiE up L. running off.) 
Harry. Ah. {shuts l. door after Jijvimie) 

{Enter Simpson, r.) 
Simpson. Mr. Pepper, sir, to see Mr. Cottenham. 
Harry. Oh yes, I'm here to meet Mr. Pepper. 
Mr. Cottenham will be here in a moment ; show him in. 

{Exit Simpson.) 

(Harry puts cigar in inkpot on l. desk. With an 
expression of satisfaction and relief he takes a photo- 
graph from his pocket, holds it up stage.) 

What a pretty little thing she is, but not for me. (L. 

of table R., places it inside Jimmib's blotting pad) 
Simpson. This way, sir. {spoken as Harry drops 

photo in blotter) 

(Harry gds l. c.) : 



110 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

{Enters R. u. e.) Mr. Pepper, sir. {announcing) 
{Enter Pepper r.) (Simpson exits) 

Harry. Good morning, Mr. Pepper. Where's 
Miss Tommy? 

Pepper, {wp c.) In the ante-room. No lady 
visitors allowed in the offices, the shop-walker — chief 
clerk, said — and quite right too. 

Harry. What a nuisance — she must come in. 

Pepper. Why was Tommy so determined that I 
should bring her here ? {hat on desk R.) She told me 
to ask you. 

Harry. Your daughter was anxious to apologise — 

(Pepper gets down r.) 

to Mr. Cottenham, so I told her she would find him 
here and I was to meet her. Now we've had all our 
trouble for nothing. 

(Tommy enters quickly wp r. shuts the door^ comes 
c, shakes hands with Harry.) 

Tommy. No, we haven't. 

Pepper. How did you get in ? 

Tommy. Walked in— you don't suppose I would 
allow the chief clerk to regulate my movements. 

Pepper. You wish to apologise to Mr. Cotten- 
ham ? 

Tommy. Yes. 

Pepper. But wasn't it he who insulted you ? 

Tommy. Yes, but I insulted him. 

■Pepper. Very well. Then you're quits. •_ 



Act in.] TANTALigiNG TOmiY. Ill 

Tommy. Oh no, we're not. It was through me 
that his engagement was broken off. 

Pepper. Well, yours was almost broken off 
through him. 

Tommy. [To Harry) Do you know why papa is 
in such a bad temper ? 

Pepper. I'm not in a " bad temper." 

Tommy. Because I've upset all his plans. Papa 
has to be at a Board meeting at twelve — they made 
him chairman — because he tells them so many funny 
stories. 

Pepper. Tommy ! {hits desk) 

Tommy, [to Pepper) Now don't deny it, you 
know you're famous for your funny stories — whenever 
you put on your wonderful pearl pin I know you've 
got a new one which you're going to tell them when 
you take the chair. 

Pepper. Don't pay any attention, Mr. Kilhck — 
(producing from pocket long lady^s glove and attempting 
to put it on Ms L. hand) Business is business and I'm 
a very busy man. {Discovers his mistake and drCpe 
glove into his hat on desk r. confusedly.) 

(Harry covers face with hands. Tommy observant.) 

• Tommy. That's quite true. You can see he's a 
busy man, and I've dragged him here {takes his arm) 
because I didn't think it looked the thing for a girl 
to come alone to a Government office. 

Pepper. I don't think it's the right thing either. 
{to her a little) 



118 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

Tommy. There's no need to worry, papa. We'll 
just itay for five minutes, and then you'll be free. 

{Enter Jimmie up l., sees Tommy, staggered.) 

JiMMiE. {speaking to Tathem) All right, sir, I'll 
attend to it before you get back. {At sight of Tommy 
and Pepper) Oh ! I say ! 

(Pepper moves hat wp to top of desk.) 

Harry, {l. of desk l.) There's some one come. to 
Bee you. 

Jimmie. (l. c.) Oh, hang it all. 

Tommy, (c.) I'm afraii we've done wrong in 
calling ? 

Jimmie. What ! you here. Miss Pepper, And you 
too, sir. {to Harry) And you — I shall have some- 
thing to say to you later. 

Pepper, (r. corner of desk) I admit that we 
ought never to have come here — but my daughter 
wishes to apologise to you. {up to top of dei^k) 

Jimmie. Apologise. j^ 

Tommy. Yes. 

Jimmie. I'm very much pressed for time. 

Tommy. I've only one word to say, Mr. Cotten- 
h.am. When I've said it, I shall go away with papa, 
and you'll never see me again. 

Jimmie. Thank you very much, Miss Pepper ! 

Tommy. I came here to tell you — {up to him) — 
you've got a spot of ink on your nose. 

(Jimmie tries to rub ii off.) 
No, not there — there — {points to it) 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 113 

(JiMMiE tries to ruh it off again.) 

(c.) I wanted t6 know — you haven't got it off' yet. 

(JiMMiE dabs nose.) 

Are you still bad friends with your father-in-law ? 

JuvBiiE. Yes, I'm rather uncomfortable with 
him. 

ToMmy. I know it was my fault — I'm very sorry, 
and I hope you don't bear me any ill-will for it. 

JiiviMiE. No ! I don't, Miss Pepper. 

Tommy. Would you hke my father and I to try 
and put matters right with Mr. Tathem ? 

JiMMiE. No, thank you — you'd only make a mess 
of it, especially if you went with your father. 

(Pepper above desk r. resentful.) 

I think things will be arranged more satisfactorily 
without you. Fortunately, Mr. Tathem is out just 
now. It would have been very serious for me if he'd 
found you here. 

Tommy. I shall never set foot in this office again, 
Mr. Cottenham. 

JiMMiE. Thank you so much, Miss Pepper. 
Good-bye, Miss Pepper. Good-bye sir. I am grate- 
ful to you, all the same, very grateful — Good-bye. 
(backs on to l. table ; to Harry) Will you see your 
friends out {wp to door l. Harry upon his r.) and I 
should hke a moment with you afterwards. 

{Exit JiMMiE up L. Harry tries to stop him and 

brushed aside.) 



114 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

Tommy, [shrug ; c.) He didn't receive my 
apology very graciously. 
Pepper, (r.) It's just what I expected. 
ToaiMY. I know why he was so disagreeable. 
Pepper. Why ? 
Tommy, [to her father) He doesn't Hke you. 

(Harry laughs loudly, till observed by Pepper). 

I noticed it in the country. As soon as you eame he 
became irritable. 

Pepper. I thought it would end up in being my 
fault. 

Tommy. Well, never mind, it's all over now, isn't 
it ? [to Harry) It does seem strange — all the 
men I know would crawl on their knees from one 
end of London to the other for a smile from me, and I 
come here to be snubbed by a little Government clerk 
— it is strange — very — strange. 

Pepper, [goes up c.) . Well, my dear child, it may 
not have occurred to you, but there is only one way out 
of it : that is, for us to go. [goes to r. door) Good 
morning, Mr. Killick. 

[Exit R. U. E.) 

Tommy, [she follows Pepper to door up r., she turns 
back ; to Harry) Do you know when I'm with Mr. 
Cottenham I feel as though J were crunching unripe 
gooseberries, which set my teeth on e^lge, and yet I 
long for more. 

(Harry turns arvay delighted.) 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 115 

Pepper, {from without) Tommy ! 

Tommy. [anvMyed) I'm coming, papa. Good- 
bye, Mr. Killick. {shakes hands) I must say your 
friend has a frigMful temper, I pity the people who 
are obliged to come in contact with him every day. 
{goes towards door r., stands irresolute a moment in 
doorway, then comes hack) Does he do his work in 
this room ? 

Harry, {stepping forward eagerly to desJc 'r.) Yes, 
this is his desk, {on h. of it) 

Tommy. And is this his chair ? {down r. of desk, 
puts bag on desk) 

(Harry shuts door, returns l. of desk.) 

Harry, Yes, his own little chair, (Tommy pats chair) 
and here are his pens, his pins, his ink and his blotter. 

(Tommy touches each article and repeats the word.) 

Tommy. And this is his blotter ? {goes to open it) 

Harry, {tragically, puts his hands on it) No, no. 
Don't touch his blotter, (Tommy hands behind her) — 
anything but that. 

Tommy. Why ? 

Harry. He expressly forbade it. He said to me : 
" If Miss Tommy should manage to get in here please 
don't let her touch my blotter," He seemed to have 
a particular reason for not wanting you to touch his 
blotter, 

{Hands off, step back quickly, goes l, listens for her to 
open it.) 



116 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act HI. 

(Pause. Tommy hesitates, then raises the cover of the 
blotting case — catching sight of Iter fhotogTaph.) 

Tommy. Oh ! {shuts it quickly) 
Harry, {udth satisfaction) What is it ? {goes to 
desk L.) 

(Tommy sits r. of desk r.) 

(Re-enter Pepper up r., stands in doorway breathless.) 

Pepper. Tommy ! — My dear child, — I daresay you 
think it a joke to make me come up all these steps 
again . . . aren't you coming ? 

Tommy. Thomas dear, {up to him on his l.) will 
you leave me two minutes with Mr. Killick ? 

Pepper. You surely don't want to apologise to 
him now. Well, what do you want to say all of a 
sudden to Mr. Kilhck ? 

Tommy. If I told you I shouldn't have to ask you 
to please go out while I said it. 

Pepper. And leave you to come home alone. 
No, no. {taking her arm and going outside door) 

Harry. Might I make a suggestion ? {comes l.c.) 

Tommy, (pulls Pepper back, saying,) Yes, yes, 
of course. 

Pepper, (r. c.) No, no, no. 

Harry, (l.) Are you taking the car ? 

Pepper. No. I shall walk. 
'- Harry. Well then, I suggest you leave your 
daughter with me, and I'll take her home in the car, 
as we are all to meet at lunch. 

Pepper. No, no, certainly — certainly — — | 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. Hi 

Tommy. Thomas ! 

Pepper, {going out) Very well, at two o'clock 
sharp. 

{Exit door R.) 

Tommy. Good-bye, Thomas, {stands dreamily l, 
of desk R.) 

Harry. Won't you sit down ? {gets chair from 
up R. and puts it l. of desk r.) 

Tommy. Oh ! ■ . j 

Harry. You were dreaming. 

Tommy, (l. of desk) No, I wasn't. Mr. Cotten- 
ham's manner was very, very distant. 

Harry. Yes — very. 

Tommy. He said that he never wished to see me 
again. 

Harry. He did express that wish. 

Tommy. Everything in Mr. Cottenham's actions 
proved that he is indifferent to me. 

Harry, {emphatically) It might almost be said 
that his feeling amounts to disUke. 

Tommy. Very well then. Will you kindly lift the 
cover of his blotter and see what there is inside. 
(Harry goes l. protestingly) Please. 

Harry, {crosses to r. of desk below — pause — 
hesitation) {He opens the blotting case) Oh ! {with 
an exclamation of astonishment shuts it quickly, {with 
both hands, and jumps into chair r. of desk.) 

Tommy, (c.) There's no mistake about it, it's 
me — me — me ! He keeps my photograph in his 
blotter. How do you account for that, Mr. KilHck ? 



118 TANTALISING TOMMY. [AcrlH. 

Harry, {greatly affected) Pool ! fool ! Addle- 
pated fool ? 

Tommy. Wliat is the matter? {ahcyve table to 
him) 

Harry, {cross to l. of desh and sits on it, face 
averted from her) No, no, I promised to say iiothing— 
ke made me swear. 

Tommy. Wliy did lie make you swear ? 

Harry. How comes he to have your photograph. 
Are they on sale ? 

Tommy. Certainly not ! 

Harry. Then what does it mean ? 

Tommy, {casually) Then what does it mean ? I 
don't know — do you ? 

Harry. I know nothing about it. No one will 
drag a word out of me, {s/its cJmir l. of desk) Wild 
horses wouldn't drag it out of me. Oh, what a rash 
fool I've been. 

Tommy, {'pick up hag, approaching him on his l.) 
Is he in love with me ? {hesitatingly) 

Harry. I never said so. {joy from Tommy) You 
mustn't tell him I said so. (looks to front) 

Tommy. You dear old ingenuoua thing — {above. 
Mm) 

(Harry assumes a look of siveet innocence — smiles, 
fold hands.) 

Harry. Are you glad ? 

Tommy. Glad? . . . Idon'tthinkso— Idon'tq[uite 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 119 

ljn.ow — I just feel topsy-turvy, {little laugJi. Go to l. 
desk) 

Harry, {rise r. c, over her shoulder) Don't you 
see, his line of conduct is as clear as daylight. He's 
putting you on the wrong scent so that no one shall 
accuse him of wanting you for your money. A man 
who felt indifferent would at least be polite. He 
treats you like the dirt beneath his feet, (ToaiMY 
stamps) which proves beyond doub^that he d oes care 
for you. 

Tommy. He loves me. 
Harry. Madly. " 

Tommy, {little laugh) What am I going to do ? 
{turn to him sitting on desk l.) 

Harry, (c.) But I shouldn't let it upset you. 
n you were to say to him : " What is my photograph 
doing there ? " he would answer : " I don't know : 
I didn't put it there," Now be kind, go out of his 
life. Let him forget you, and resign himself to marry- 
ing the Tathem girl. 

{Tehfhone ready.) 

Tommy, {cross r. casually) Well ; I think it 
simply amazing that a man should have the courage 
to be rude to a girl, so that she should not know he 
was in love with her, it's quite out of the common. 
I'm so tired of people who all say the same things to 
me — it's so refreshing to meet some one different. 
Mr. Killick {with sudden resolution) I am determined 



120 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

-.ijvV not to leave here till I'm good friends with Mr. 
Coutenham. 

(Simpson throws ope-i r. u. door.) 

Harry, {indicates) • 

(Tommy hides l. of desk.) 

{Enter Simpson up r. with tray covered which he 
places on Jimmie's desk.) 

Harry. Mr. Cottenham will be here in a moment. 
Simpson. Thank you, sir. 

{Exit R. u. E.) 

Tommy, [rises) What's that man doing here ? 
{whispering at desk) 

Harry. He's brought in Jimmie's lunch, {whisper 
at desk) 

Tommy. Does he lunch here ? {cross r. to desk) 

Harry. Whenever he's in charge. 

Tommy. At his desk ? 

Harry. iVt his desk. 

Tommy. How nice ! It must be amusing to be a 
Government clerk. 

{A ring on the telephone.) 

Do the married clerks have their wives to lunch with 
them here ? 

{Another ring on the telephone.) 

Harry. Oh no, that's not allowed. Mr. Tathem 
wouldn't allow it. 



Act III] TANTALISING T0MM7. 121 

Tommy. Nasty snappy old thing. That's a^pity, 
I thmk it would be very nice for the wives. 

{TelepJwm rings vigorously.) 

Tommy. I can't stand that — I'll answer it. {cross 
L. takes receiver) {She speaks through the telephone) 
Are you there ? {To Harry) It's a man. Who do 
you want ? He isn't here, {through the telephone) I've 
told you he isn't here. . . . I'm to go and fetch him ? 
You order me to — I'll do nothing of the kind — you're 
an old bore. (Harry interrupts) {Puts up receiver, 
holds her hand to her ears. Gets c.) (Harry replaces 
telephone) Oh — such language— there's no excuse 
for it except he was declaring war. 

{Enter Jimmie up l.) 

JiMMiE. {up L. with a bundle of papers) What, still 
here ? 

(Tommy cross down r.) 

Harry, (r. c. goes up to desk up c. and takes up 
his hat) We're simply going to say good-bye once 
more, and then leave you to your lunch. 

Jimmie. Thank you. {comes l. c.) 

Tommy, {below desk r. going up stage looking at 
lunch) Your little lunch smells so awfully good — 
and looks so tempting. 

Jimmie. You're joking, Miss Pepper. 

Tommy. I am not. I'm sure it must be delicious. 
What is it ? {lifts cover) 

Jimmie. Irish stew. 



122 TANTALISING TOMMY. [ActIII. 

Tommy. Oh ! {covers it tenderhj) I've never tasted 
it . . . we have such rich things in our house. 
JiMMiE. Naturally. 

Tommy. Well — good-bye. (goes up r.) 
JiMMiE. Good-bye. 

(Harry opens door.) 

Tommy, {returns between JiMMtE and Harry) 
Come now, do make an effort and say something nice 
to me before I leave you. 

JiMMiE. My compliments to your father . . . 
That's nice, isn't it ? 

Tommy. Very. Good-bye. 

{Exit R. JiMMiE puts paper on desk l. Harry 
nudges Jimmie andfolloivs her laughing, shuts door.) 

( JiMMiE knees him off, left alone is relieved ; cross r. of 
desk R., uncovers tray, moves coffee pot, milk and 
sugar up to top of desk, m^ves dish up to top, uncovers, 
smells stew, takes plate and helps himself to stew 
at top of desk, two spoonfuls and two searches for 
onion, rejylaces plate r., opens ginger ale, getting gas 
from same in eye as he does so, spills some, foot on it, 
pours out ginger ale, gets paper from pocket of over- 
coat, finds place, sits in chair, stands paper against 
cruet, takes napkin, salt, and commences his meal. 
Afte?" first mouthful break roll in two. 

The door opens and Tommy re-appears. 

JiMMiE smiles at jokes in paper. 

Tommy comes in quietly, closes door silently, looks at 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 123 

JiMMiE, hangs her scarf on 'pegs r, then turns and 
knocks on door to attract his attention. 

JiMMiE nervously looks to r. then up to her, rising, half 
uncertain ivhether to sit or stand, and mouth full of 
stew.) 

JiMMiE. Have you forgotten anything, Miss 
pepper ? 

Tommy. No, no ... {standing above chair l. of r. 
desk) 

JiMMiE. What have you come b,ack for, then ? 

Tommy. Iri^h stew. 

JiMMiE. Really, Miss Pepper— I must insist — — 

Tommy. I expected you'd receive me like this 
{puts hag on desk r.) But I came back just the same. 
I couldn't resist your Irish stew, 

JiMMiE. You can get it in any restaurant, Miss 
Pepper. 

Tommy. Ah, but I want some of yours. 

JiMMiE. I've already told you that if Mr. Tathem 
were to see you here 

Tommy. I've been making inquiries . . . there's 
not the slightest risk. He never comes back before 
thiee — won't you please give me a little Irish stew ? 

Jimmie. {sits) I can't very well refuse you. Miss 
Pepper, but really 

Tommy. Oh, how nice of you ! {takes fork and 
meat) You don't know, you will never know, what 
pleasure you're giving me. {tastes) 

Jimmie. I'm sure you won't like it. {eats) 



124 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

Tommy, {standing top of desk) It's perfectly- 
delicious ! It's a dream. I'd give my life for tliis 
Irish stew, {tastes) 

JiMMiE. Much too fat for my taste. 

Tommy. You are rather partial to " lean." {sit chair 
L. of desk) 

JiMMiE. What do you mean, Miss Pepper ? 

Tommy. I noticed that when I saw Miss Tathem. 

JiMMiE. Oh ! Miss Tathem is not " lean " Miss 
Pepper. 

Tommy. Well : she's neither one nor the other. 
{peeps round paper) May I help myself to a little 
more ? {takes grape plate) 

Jimmie. Certainly. 

{She helps herself,) 

Jimmie. {rises and up to door r.) Oh, this is too 
much. 

Tommy, {looking up quickly) Shall I put some 
back? 

Jimmie. I didn't mean too much stew, Miss Pepper. 
{opens and shuts door) But your father^won't he be 
expecting you ? {sits again) 

Tommy. Papa ? Oh he must wait. Surely he 
ought to put himself out a little for you. 

{He drinks, shutting eyes.) 

{She removes paper, throws it on floor c.) 

{He rises questioningly, sits again.) 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 125 

Tommy. If I were not taking a liberty, I would ask 
you 

JiMMiE. What for ? 

Tommy. I'm simply dying of thirst. 

JiMMiE. How thoughtless of me. But I have 
only one glass and I've already drunk out of it. 

Tommy. Oh, that doesn't matter in the least. 
But you may not Uke to use it after me. 

JiMMiE. Oh ! we mustn't be too particular. 

{She takes glass.) 

While I regret a familiarity to which I have no right — 

{She drinks and gives him glass.) 

I can quite well drink after you. Miss Pepper, {drink- 
ing) 

Tommy. They say that's a way of guessing an- 
other person's thoughts. 

JiMMiE. {eats) I can guess yours quite easily. 
You thought, _as I was the only man who until now 
had resisted your whims, it would be rather amusing 
to force me into this tete-a-tlte. 

Tommy. No, not at all. My thoughts were far 
more stupid than that. When I left you just now, I 
felt frightfully bored at the thought of going home to 
find Lord Enderby. 

Jimmie. So he's made it up with you ? 

Tommy. Oh no, but he has with papa. Lord 
Enderby is to lunch with us to-day. 

Jimmie. I see, to try and get friends with you 
a^ain. 



126 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

Tommy. Yes. I thought of him waiting for me at 
home. Then I thought of the Irish stew and of you 
sitting here nibbling all alone. May I have a bit of 
ro-1. (taking it) 

JiMMiE. Wouldn't you Uke this bit ? {offering 
roll) 

Tommy. So I said to Mr. Killick : " Good-bye, I'm 
going to taste the stew." And here I am ! 

JiMMiE. I know — Just the fancy of an heiress — 
always looking for something new. 

Tommy, {rises — moves salad — jputs dirty 'plates 
together top of desk) It's too bad. You're always 
reproaching me for being rich. It isn't my fault. I'm 
sorry enough for it. {puts oil and vinegar in salad) 

JiMMiB. It's only the rich people can aSord to 
say that — I'm not reproaching you, Miss Pepper, 
but you must confess you treat me like a mere play^ 
thing — this I resent. 

(Tommy sprinkles pepper plentifully on salad.) 

I know I am quite insig {sneezes) 

(Tommy goes o. sneezing and holding pepper-pot.) 

JiMMiE. {sneezing loudly, at which she starts) I'm 
awfully sorry. I can't help making this row. I 
know I'm quite insignificant in the eyes of the world, 
but I think enough of myself to maintain my self- 
respeot. 

(Tommy puts salad on his plate.) 

Tommy. Oh, ^ see, and because I nearly separate 
you fro'm' your Elsie, you sent me flying {hands salad 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 127 

'plate to him) to maintain your self-respect, {cross l. 
sit on desk L.) 

JiMMiE. There's something in that, Miss Pepper, 
but if you — etc. 
(To:.i-MY puts salad in cuffs on desk l.) (neroously 

looks round.) 

Oh, I say — ^Miss Pepper. 

Tommy, (leave howl on desk l.) I don't know 
whether I'm prejuiicei against your Elsie, {gets bunch 
of gripes and goes c. eating them) but I really can't 
make out what you see in her. I don't care what you 
say — she's scraggy. 

•JiMOTE. No, Miss Pepper. -•' 

Tommy. She's a weak, washe:I-out, depressing 
person, and she is too little for you — that's quite 
certain, you can't say " No, Miss Pepper" to that. 
What you want is a bright jolly wife — {dang^^^gra-pes 
over him, finally throwing (hem to him.) 

{He catches them, one going up his sleeve, he gets it 
down, much amused) 

You need cheermg up. . '^ 

{She seats herself on Ricketts' desk.) 
Your Hfe is so — monotonous, {brushes off papers R.) 
JixMMiE. {rises) Pardon me, Miss Pepper, but 
you are upsetting Mr. Ricketts' papers, {kneels c. 
picks up papers) 

(Tommy upsets l. papers.) 
Tommy. Such dull stuff {reading) " Statistics of 



128 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

rural imbecility in the outlying districts of the Bi- 
grotta." (brushing them off the desk) Oh, it's enough 
to bore any one to death, (sings) " Yip-I-addy-I 
ay " {and kicks desk) 

JiMMiE. Oh, please don't sing — ion't kick the desk 
— they'll hear it downstairs and come rushing up. 
(Putting papers on desk c.) Will you please take some 
coffee. 

(Goes to desk r. and pours out coffee.) 

Tommy. I shall be very pleased. 

(Sits L. of desk r.) 

JiMMiE. (comes top of desk offering her his cup) 
Will you do me the honour of drinking first. 

Tommy. I will. 

JiMMiE. Sugar ? (taking up sugar tongs) 

Tommy, No, never, (drinks) 

JiMMiE. It's really absurd. We haven't a single 
taste in common. I always take four lumps. 

Tommy. Then you don't drink coffee — you drink 
treacle. * 

(She puts in four lumps. Jimmie laughs.) 

That's the first time I've ever heard you laugh — what 
a funny Uttle laugh. 

(Jimmie pleased, swings napkin, hitting chair.) 

It isn't so painful, is it ? 
Jimmie. Oh no, it isn't a painful laugh. 
Tommy. What do you think of my fiance ? 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMM'^. 129 

JiMMiE. I've never seen him Miss Pepper {sits e, of 
desk, takes wffee. 

Tommy. I wish I could say the same. I see him 
so often it's unbearable. 

JiMMiE. You surprise me. 

Tommy. When you give us the pleasure of dining 
at our house — 

{Look from Jimmie.) 

— you can't refuse no-w — you must allow me to 
return your hospitahty — I'll introduce him to you. 
You'll see. He's far too tall for me. You'll see at 
once, Lord Enderby's utterly out of the question for 
me. 

Jimmie. It's a pity — he has such a nice face — I 
mean nice place, and he has a title. 

Tommy. He's all title — and no brains. 

Jimmie. Then why marry him ? 

Tommy. I thought I ought to try and do one 
thing to please papa. 

Jimmie. I feel sure nobody who knows you, {rises, 
down R.) would beHeve that you would do anything 
except to please yourself. 

Tommy, {rise) You don't understand me at all. 
I appear headstrong because everybody gives way to 
me, but in reality I'm most submissive. 

Jimmie. {laughing) Ha, ha ! That's really too 
good. 

Tommy. But it is so — just as you in reality have 



130 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

an obstinate dominating character, {sits on desk i^. 

corner of same) 

JiMMiE. I — dominating — ^^obstinate 

Tommy, {ticks off on fingers) Yes. Now just 

think a moment. You didn't wish to take me in your 

house when my motor broke down. 

JiMMIE. No! 

Tommy. You didn't wish to give me your room — 

(JiMMiE. ''No— erf') I ^ 

you didn't wish me to come here, — " 

(JiMMiE. " £'r, er, no!'') \ 

you didn't wish me to lunch with you. 

(JiMMIE. ''No!'') ^ 

Every Uttle thing I've asked you, you've refused, 

(JiMMiE laughs) 

Now isn't that obstinate and dominating, {wags 
-finger) 

JiMMiE. {turns head to her quite fascinated) What 
a quaint httle person you are, to be sure, {uf r, of 
desk, futs dawn cup, pours out brandy) 

{She rises, gets c. a little.) 

Tommy. What's in that. I haven't had any of- 
that ! 

JiMMiE. Brandy, {pours it out) 

Tommy. Brandy — that's strong, isn't it ?' 

JiMMiE. Yes, frightfully fiery spirit. 

Tommy. It's for men, isn't it ? j 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 131 

JiMMiEr Yes, only for men. 

Tommy. I'll take a little. 

JiMMiE. No — it's too strong for you, Miss Pepper. 

Tommy. Now there you are — ^what was I just 
saying to you ? You won't let me have any brandy. 

Jimmie. I don't think that you ought to — of 
course if you insist, {gives her glass) 

{She takes glass — she tastes it.) 

Tommy. And you're quite right, it is nasty . . . 
{makes a face) You drink it. {returns glass, goes c.) 

JijMmie. It serves you right, {drinks) {sits front 
of desk in c. of same) 

{Pause. Tommy quietly comes and sits on front of 
desk to his L., He shifts an inch to R., She moves 
-closer. He shifts again, She moves a third time and 
he shifts round the angle of desk to face r.) 

Tommy. Do you know many Gaiety girls ? 

Jimmie. Many Gaiety girls — I don't know one. 

Tommy. At your age — It's incredible ! 

Jimmie. All the same it's true. 

Tommy. Lord Enderby knows one. He showed 
her to me at Newmarket ; she was very pretty ; 
they're aAvfuUy fasciaat'ng aren't they ? 

Jimmie. I don't know. You'll have to ask Lord 
Enderby. {rise goes r. of desk) 

Tommy, [rises). Mr. Cottenham, I hope ydu'Jl 
bring your wife to see me when you're married, {l. of 
desk) 



132 TANTALISING TOMMY.: [Act III. 

JiMMiE. I shall be delighted, that'll be awfully 
jolly, (covers tray wp, angril,y) 
Tommy. Mr. Cottenham 

(Jimmy returns, " Yes I ") 

look me straight in the eye, [at desk) 

JiMMiE. You — ^In the eye ? {looks front) 

Tommy. Are you happy at the idea of marrjdng 
Miss Tathem ? 

Jimmie. Of course {looks at her) I am, frightfully 
happy I 

Tommy. Then tell me — why 

JiM?,iiE. Why — Why what ? 

Tommy. Why did you keep my photogi'aph in your 
blotter ? 

Jimmie. There's no photograph in my blotter, 
{opening the case^ takes out photo.) Wiry yes, there 
you are. 

(Tommy turns l. delighted.) 
I suppose tliis is meant for a joke, {puts photo in 
pocket, not seen by her) I don't think it funny, it's 
very indiscreet. If Mr. Tathem had found it ! . . . 

Tommy, {go to him r.) Bravo — bravo — A man 
who can conceal his true feelings like you r'o; -inust 
have a will of iron, {go l.) 

JiMivnE. Ah ? 

Tommy. ^I'love to see it in a man. Oh, I never felt 
BO amgry at being rich. 

Jimmie. {going to her) Why ? 
^ {Slie gets l. c.) 



Act in.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 133 

Tommy (l. c.) Oh, er — because 

JiMMiE. {gets R. c.) Because 

Tommy. Oh nothing-^you have a noble unselfisk 

nature 

Jimmie. I — noble — unselfish ! 
Tommy. At any rate we shall be good friends, Mr. 
Cottenham, shan't we ? 

Jimmie. Very good friends, I hope. Miss Pepper. 
(returns r. c.) 
Tommy. Men like you are very rare. 

(Jimmie swings hatid delightedly^) 

You're a delightful host — I should never have found 
that out if it hadn't been for that adorable Irish stew. 
Thanks to our little lunch — we are now the best of 
friends, {giving Mm her hand) Aren't we ? 

Jimmie. {forgetting all his old animosity is uncon- 
sciously falling in love, takes her hand) Certainly we 
are. {pause) Certainly, [laughs nervously and self- 
consciously^ still holding her hand) V/hen two nations 
who have been at war make peace they usually sign a 
treaty. _^ 

Tommy. Sign a treaty ? 

Jimmie. Have you any objection to that 1 {drops 
hand) 

Tommy. Oh no. {as though il ivere of no impor- 
tance) Well — go on — sign — write it but. {moving 
round toivards desJc, cross in front) 

Jimmie. One moment, {catches her r. hand as she 
turns) I sign this way — {he bends and kisses her 



i34 TANTALISING TOMMY. [AcT.m. 

hand) {pause, lets her hand drop, and backs to c, 
nervously crossing legs. r. heel in front ; r. foot 
cross behind ; R. foot cross in front) 

Tommy, {embarrassed) Must I sign too ? 

JiMMiE. {imperturbably) That's the law, both 
parties must sign the contract. 

(Tommy hesitates and seems at a loss what to do, sud- 
denly comes to a determination and turns to him, 
holding out her arms ; he backs nervously to L., th&n, 
holds out his face as expecting a kiss.) 
Tommy.. Sit down, {motions him to chair l. of 

desk) 
Jimmik. Oh. {disappointed) 

(Jimmie sits in. chair facing audience, l. of desk— she 

quickly takes large quill pen from inkstand, dips it 

in the ink.) 

JiMivnE. Whatever are ^you going to do — There's 
the pen and ink — but where's the p&per ? 

Tommy. Now don't you move — {sits on desk l. of it ; 
puts her left arm round his shoulder to hold him doivn 
and writes on his white shirt front in large letters) 
Peace — Tommy. 

(Jimmie laughs,) 
{Warn band.) 

What is it ? 
Jimmie. It tickles, {squirms joyously) 

(As Tommy writes the door opens. Tathem appears at 

door dmvn n., shuts door, holds picture.] 



Act in.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 135 

Tathem. Ahem ! (r.) 

[(l. c. hacks to l. then buttons coat and turns 

'\ collar wp) separating from one another) 

„ I Oh ! (r. c. up to R. window, catches flies 

Tommy. ,\ m 

I. and bows to Tathem.) 

Tathem. Of coiiTse — (r. puts hat on desk r.) I 
do not know who the good friend is who telephoned me 
to come here at onc-e, but thanks to this anonymous 
friend I've found you out. 

Jimmie. I assure you that it was nothing but , . . 

Tathem, The cliief wants to see you. {goes to door 
down R. and opens it) 

Jimmie. Ah ! What for ? 

Tathem. I don't know. 

Jimmie. Before I go, let me explain 

Jathem. The chief cannot be kept waiting. 

Jimmie. {to Tommy) Explain to him, Miss Pepper. 

Tommy. I will. 

Jimmie. Explain to him that I have not forfeited 
{cross io Tathem) on page 15 and 16. 

Tathem. I order you to go to the chief at once. 
{step back) 

(Tommy holds out pen to Jimmie as he goes.) 

{Exit Jimmie down r., he slams door, dragging Tathem 

who is holding handle along with it.) 

Tommy, (l. c.) Nov/, Mr. Tathem 

Tathem. {taking hat, moving t<^ c.) Young woman, 
you'll have to clear out of here at once. 

ToMT/iY. Have to clear out ? 



136 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act III. 

Tathem. (r, c.) And consider yourself very- 
lucky. Mr. Cottenham will not be long after you. 
I have every reason to believe that the Under-Secre- 
tary is about to ask for his resignation. 

Tommy, (l. c.) But how absurd, don't be so 
unreasonable. We were only signing a treaty — it's 
always done in Government offices. 

Tathem. Rubbish. Mr. Cottenham was most 
impertinent to the Under-Secretary over the telephone. 
{indie, 'phone l.) 

Tommy, (looks toivards 'phone) Was that the 
Under-Secretary — then he ought to be ashamed of 
himself — his language would have done credit to 
Limehouse. Mr. Cottenham has done nothing. 
{down L. mid wp to l. c. again) 

Tathem, Nothing ! he has insulted his superiors — 
he has converted the Colonial Office into a private 
dining room for — for doubtful acquaintances — ^he 

Tommy, {throws down pen) How dare you talk 
to me like that ? I move in the very best circle ^ 

Tathem. Then I'll give the very best circle five 
minutes to clear out. {crosses her up to l.) 

Tommy, {go up r.) Then it's quite understood 
that you don't want Mr. Cottenhanj for a son-in-law 
now ? 

Tathem. Quite. 

Tommy, {beginning to get together her various things 
V3ry quickly) Are you sure you won't regret it ? 

Tathem. Nothing in the world would induce me to 
accept him now. 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 137 

ToivoiY. Thank you. 

{Rushes out r. u. e.) 

(Tathem exit l. to his room, muttering to himself.) 

{Enter Jimmie r. down.) 

(JiMMiE crosses l.) 

{Enter Harry up r., gets c.) 

Harry. Well, Jhnmie, how did you get on ? 

(Jimmie crosses c.) 

Jimmie. Get on ? be damaei — I'm dismissei the 
service, {sit l. of r. desk) 

Harry. Dismissed ! What for ? 

Jimmie. She took advantage of my absence to 
answer the telephone, called the Chief an old bore — 

(Harry looks at ^ phone.) 

— and — oh. you know how she goes on. I told him the 
truth — but no one ever believes the truth — it's all 
over, I'm in the hands of fate. {Iea7is on, desk) 

Harry. Yes, fate will take care of you. 

Jimmie. {looks up) Yes, I had the pleasure of 
meeting the Chief for the first time — an awfully nice 
chap — didn't ask for any explanation — made no fusa 
at all — simply said most pohtely, " Mr. Cottenham, 
I shall be pleased to accept your resignation." I 
said : " Thank you, sir," and the interview ended. 
{leans on desk) I shall struggle no more. From now 
on I accept everything that happens to me with a 
smile. 



158 TANTALISING TOMx>fY. [Ac r III- 

Harhy. My dear Jimmie, what does it matter, 

you'll 

JiMMifi. Whatever comes now I'll laugh at it, 

{Enter Mr. Tathem up l., comes down c. to them. 
Harry drops back up c.) 

Tathem. My daughter, sir (l. c.) 

JiM.AiiE. {rises, laughing) Ah — ah — ah ! {wagging 
hand at him) 

(Tathem steps back to l. of desk l.) 

You haye come to s^y that I am an utter scoundrel 
ani that you will never give me your daughter. 

Tathem. Yes, sir. 

Harry, {delighted) Ah 

JiM.MiE. {smiles) Please, don't trouble to explain 
it — I quite agree with everything you're going to say. 
{returns r. c, waving hand) 

Tathem. You do. Well then, I shall ask you— — 

Jimmie. And please don't trouble to ask for my 
resignation— the Chief has considerei me of suSisieat 
importance to ask for that himself, {waves handksr- 
chief joyously) 

Tathem. I give you five minutes to leave this 
ofl&ce. 

{Exits up L.) 

Jimmie. Thank you very much, sir. Merry Xmas. 
{quietly) As there's nothing more doing I think I'd 
better be off. (buttons coat) 

Harry. Where to ? 

Jimmie. I don't know. I shall walk straight ahead, 



Act III.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 139 

and the first stream of any importance that I come 

to (crosses l.) 

Harry. That will probably be the Thames 

JiMMiE. I shall throw myself into it. {crosses c.) 
Harry. Come now, Jimmie, you know you don't 

mean it. 
Jimmie. Don't I, though ! 
Harry, {turns him to him) Your happiness is 

lying at the bottom of the tea-cup, if you'll only look 

at it. 

{Enter Tommy with Pepper wp r.) 

(Harry gets l. of desk l.) 

Tommy. Here he is, papa, {pushes him to c.) 
Jimmie. Ah ! — ah ! {smiling) Good morning, sir. 

(Pepper ■ reireais behind chair e. c.) 

Pepper. I've seen you before, {comes c.) 

Jimmie. I don't care. Miss Pepper, I don't quite 
see what new calamity you can bring upon me, but 
I'm prepared. Go on sir. 

Pepper. Mr. Oottenham, when I first met you you 
were so abusive and objectionable that I had swqrn 
never to see you again — unless it were to box your 
ears. 

Jimmie. Pray don't hesitate, (bending face down) 
Do it, do it. 

~ Pepper, {restraining himself) I have no great 

j^egard for you, sir, but you're a man of strong char-^ 

acter and you couiinaud my respect, and at my 



140 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Acr III. 

daughter's request I am here to ask you to dine with 
us to-night. 

(Tommy smiles.) 
{Warn Curtain.) 

Hakry. Bravo ! 

JiMMiE. What did you say, sir ? {angry) 

Pepper, {a tug from Tommy, Pepper seniles) I 
said, would you do us the honour of dining with us 
to-night ? 

JiMMtE. {restrains himself with great difflyulty) 
Never sir — never — a lunch with your daughter has 
been more than enough for me. 

(Harry hits him ivith hat.) 

Tommy. Don't believe him — he doesn't mean a 
word he says. 

JiMMiE. Yes, I do. 
Tommy "j 

and J- No you don't. 
Harry.; 

JiMMiE. Yes, I do. 
Tommy \ 

and V No you don't. 
Harry.) 

(Pepper and Tommy drop doivn r. c.) 

Jimmy. Yes I do. I'd rather work — bareheaded 
— like a nigger — at the construction of — an — Ethio- 
pian railway in the — middle of July than ever set eyes 



Act in.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 141 

on your daughter again for even sixty seconds of the 
day. 

Pepper. I will not listen, {wp to Jimmie) 

JiMMiE. Yes, you will. 

{Seizes Pepper hy layels ivildly — move from Harry 
restraining him . ) 

Nothing can stop me now. {puts Pepper up L.) 
Pepper. You! {go up l.)' 



rr. T, , . I (together) 

Tommy. Father! j ^ ^ ' 

Jimmie. {gesticulating ivildly) Take care, Miss 
Pepper (c.) lest the floor of this room gives way and 
the walls fall in upon you. 

Tommy. I ate his lunch — ^he's hungry. 

Jimmie. Yes, I am hungry, but I have still the 
strength left to tell you that you are the most abomin- 
able — the most outrageous little — little egoist that 
nature in love with monsters ever moulded out of — 
out of — terrestrial clay. 

{Goes down r., takes his hat, coat and umbrella — above 
desk R. Harry crosses to c, by top desk.) 

Go back to your motor cars, your yachts and castles 
with your poor deluded father 

{Movement from Pepper restrained by Harry — 
exclamation of admiration from Tommy.) 

who has ruined you with his over-indulgence ! {taps 
dish with hat) The day will come when the voice of 
remorse will speak within your soul — oe that day, 



142 TANTALISING TOMMY. [AoT III. 

ashamed — terrified — {puts on hat) you will remember 
my words, {sla'ps top of hat) Good-bye for ever. 

{Exit R. Harry dashes out after him r., Pepper follows. 
Tommy in exultation c. of stage raises hands to 
heaven.) 

CURTAIN. 

No picture. 1st Call Harry r., ToMmY c, Jimmy l. 
2nd Call, JiMMlE presents Tommy pompously with 
lettuce as bouquet — he gets this from desk l. when 
■curtain is down, she receives it smiling and bowing^ 
Srd Call, Tommy curtsies deeply to Jimmie. 

Time — 38 minutes. 



r ACT IV 

Scene. — A modern studio artistically furnished. En- 
trance in the hackgromid. Doors up right and left 
I. E, L. c. Pepper's portrait facing down stage. 
As the curtain rises Harry is looking at the portrait 
doivn L. dressed in Japanese kimono richly em- 
broidered with storks — in gold. 

(JiMMiE enters, stands on steps a moment.) 
JiMMiE. Good morning, {top of steps) Morning ! 

(Harry adds final flourish to signature on picture, 
and swings easel round facing up stage. Jim sees 
picture, is horrified, and exclaims.) 

JiMivHE. I say, old man, it'll kill old teapot, [puts 
hat on table r.) 

Harry, (crosses r. to table and sits on l, side of it) 
How about that stream-you were going to find oblivion 
in? 

JiMMiE. [embarrassed, sits stool) There was a 
bridge over it— it gave me time to think, so I came 
back from Waterloo by the tube. 

Harry. You're a fool. 

JiMMiE. What have I done? 

Harby. You have blighted all my hopes, you 



146 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act IV. 

have slipped from under me like a rotten ladder. 

JiMMiE. What d'ye mean ? I've done nothing 
to you. {rise l. c.) 

Harry. Nothing ! Ye gods — and — and — and un- 
employed. {Palette on table. Turning to Jimmie) 
You met one of the richest and prettiest girls in 
London, I decided that she should marry a mere 
nobody, and the mere nobody insults her ! It's 
unbelievable. It's exasperating ! {into chair r. of 
Table) 

Jimmie. {excited) What are you talking about ? 
You decided ? 

Harry, {calm and collected) Yes, Mr. Cottenham, 
I. In my own interest I punctured four tyres, that's 
where / stopped — in your interests — / {cross legs) 
smoked cigars strong enough to make one's head 
swim, I stole photographs to put in your blotter 

Jimmie. You stole that photograph ? 

Harry. / telephoned Mr. Tathem to return to 
the office — when you were lunching with 

Jimmie. You ! So I've you to thank for that 
beastly Irish stew business, have I ? 

Harry. I succeeded in getting you asked to 
dinner by T. H. Pepper himself — I lauded you to the 
skies — he would have accepted you as a son-in-law 

Jimmie. {dumbfounded) A — a — what ! (leans on 
table R.) 

Harry. A son-in-law. 

Jimmie. Rot. {go l. a Utile) 

Harry. I hnoiv it. 



Act W.l TANTALISING TOMMY. 147 

JiMMiE. /, the son-in-law of a man who looks for a 
peer for his money. I the husband of a girl who always 
hated me — ^my dear chap you're completely off the 
canvas — you've lost your background, {return c.) 

Harey. {rise, comes r. c.) You weakling, {folds 
kimono) 

JiMMiE. What do you cover yourself with a 
lot of partridges for ? {alluding to kimono) 

Harry. You — you, insignificant person 

JiMMiE. Do your people know of this ? 

Harry. You've no ambition, {go r.) 

JiMMiE. {ditto) Ambition — {up and down c.) ah, 
that's at the bottom of all your dupUcity, your am- 
bition. You've used me as a ladder you've built up 
your happiness on 

Harry. My happiness ! {kimono open) That 
hasn't lasted long. The portrait will never be paid 
for. Old Pepper's done with me. 

JiMMiE. {surprised) Is that true ? 

Harry. You don't suppose he wants to see me 
again after the way you treated him, and Miss Tommy. 
I'll have to leave here at once. 

JiMMiE. Why, isn't this your studio ? 

Harry. No. 

JiMMiE. But you told me it was. 

Harry. I didn't know then I only had it by the 
hour. 

(JiMMiE goes L.) 
{Maid enters b. c.) 



148 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act IV. 

Maid {announcing) Mr. Pepper, sir. 

Harey. Pepper — ye gods f 

JiaiMiE. {goes up) I thought he'd done with you. 
'{returns to Harry) 

Harry. He has come to tell me what he thinks of 
you, I suppose, and then kick me out. (gets his 
palette, Resigned air) Show him up. 

(Maid exit.) 

JiMMiE. {starts hach) {goes up) I don't want to 
meet him again, {run's up to steps) Is there rio- other 
way out ? {down c.) 

{Enter Pepper r.) 

Harry. ISTone. 

JiMMLEL No other room — {cross d.) — ^yes, 

(Harry crosses to easel on r. side and poses). 

Harry, {very effusively) Good morning, Mr. 
Pepper. 

(JiMMiE bolts into room L. i. e.) 

Pepper. Was that Mr. Cottenham ? {angry) 

Harry, {goes to him) Won't you sit, Mr Pepper — 
do sit down. 

Pepper. Wasn't that Mr. Cottenham ? 

Harry, {nervously) Where, Mr. Pepper ? 

Pepper. Where, Mr. Pepper, there Mr. Pepper^ — 
it was Mr. Cottenham — ^he runs away — ^he's afraid to 
meet me. {hat on table) 

Harry. He's a mystery to me, he annoys me. 



Act IV.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 149- 

Pepper. You seem to be on good terms with this 
annoyance, {get out cheque hook) 

Harry. Life compels us to be on good terms with 
many annoyances — the new — friends 

Pepper, (c) The new friends have not deserted 
you, Mr. KiUick ; here's a cheque for £500 for your 
caricat-teristic painting. 

Harry. Ah ! (pleased) Do sit down. 

(Pepper crosses and sits seat l. Harry puts palette 
by easel, cheque in pocket.) 

To what may I attribute the return of your friendship, 
Mr. Pepper ? 

Pepper. To Tommy. 

Harry, (c.) To Miss Tommy ? She is thinking 
of me now. {surprised) 

Pepper. My daughter is turning my hair white. 
Ever since that miserable motor breakdown she has 
given me no peace. What do you think she did this 
morning ? 

Harry. For the first time in my life, sir — I cannot 
think — tell me. 

Pepper. She did not come down to breakfast, 

Harry, She is ill ? 

Pepper. Worse than that, {gets out note) 

Harry. You alarm me. {close to Tester on his n.) 

Pepper. She locked herself in her room — and sent 
me this note. 

(Harry gets stool and sits e. of Pepper.) 
{reading) " My dear Papa, since you insisted on my 



igO TANTALISING TOMMY.: [Act IV. 

marrying Lord Enderby, I have been reconsidering 
the matter. I accepted him in a moment of anger." 
Throwing over a title like that — she's absolutely mad. 

Harry. Oh, not absolutely. 

Pepper. She says she's going to take life seriously 
— a young girl 

Harry. A young grrl^ take life seriously — Ah I 
then I know the reason — it is love \ {look at Pepper) 

Pepper. Love? I hope not. 

Harry. Without a shadow of a doubt, {looks to 
b). 

Pepper. This concerns you. {letter in l. liand 
away from Harry) 

Harry. Me ? 

Pepper. Yes, you. 

Harry. You don't mean to say that she — that I — 

(Harry's face changes, he twM away to hide his exul- 
tation.) 

Ah ! I understand {rise go r.) What a fool I've 

been, {fose) 

Pepper, {sees Harry smiling) Well, of course, 
you know best. 

Harry. Go on, Mr. Pepper, I'm listening, {resumes 
seat on stool) 

Pepper, {continues reading) " Tell Mr. Killick I 
am sorry that I behaved badly to him and to one of 
his friends . . . whom I have forgotten "... Mr. 
Cottenham. 



Act IV.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 161 

Harry, {face lights up) Mr. Cottenham. (care- 
lessly) 

Pepper. " I shall come to Mr. Killick this morn- 
ing to ask his forgiveness — and beg him to keep all 
the things belonging to me at the studio — they 
will help to brighten it up for him." You see she's 
thinking of you. 

Harry, {very much moved) Only of me — (ecstatic- 
alj) 

Pepper. And her father 

Harry, (turns to him) Yes, of course. 

Pepper. Listen to this, (touched. Continuing 
to read) " Good-bye, dear Papa, \ou may stay out as 
late as you please now, (Harry amused) for I shall 
pray for you." 

Harry. Good — kind little heart. 

Pepper. She's all heart, (fiances letter in podcet) 

Harry. Is she still locked in that room ? 

Pepper. She was, but I went upstairs and insisted 
on seeing her. 

Harry, (anxiously) How did she look ? Changed ? 

Pepper. Don't ask me — she simply said quietly — 
" You shall not have any more worry about my mar- 
riage." I said she should marry whoever she pleased, 

Harry, (rise c.) (eagerly, an^pulling down waist- 
coat and fingering tie and collar) You did — and what 
did she answer ? 

Pepper. " Thank you, dear father. — I shall never 
marry." 

[A look . of consternation comes into Haery's face.) 



152 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act.IV. 

Harry. Never ? (c.) 

Pepper. " I shall become a nun." 

Harry. I beg pardon ? 

Pepper. A nun — in one of the Silent Orders — 
silent Tommy ! 

Harry. Silent ! 

Pepper. And shells instructed the servants to call 
her " sister " — and she " sisters " and " brothers " 
them all with such a meek and humble air — {bloivs 
nose) — I can't bear it. 

Harry. Cheer up, Mr. Pepper ; it won't last, it 
won't last, {puts stool hack) 

Pepper; Won't it ? {rise, cross c.) Why, she's 
given all her Paris gowns to the maids 

Harry. Love, (wp by easel, foot on seat) 

Pepper, {annoyed) Ah — she's locked up the 
piano {go r.) 

Harry. Love again. 

Pepper. And she's sent all her dogs to a home 
and she's given her banjo to a pierrot. {heloiv table r .) 

Harry, All love ! {comes c.) 

Pepper, {gives in) All right, I like her to have 
whatever she wants — but when it comes to convents 
and silent orders — I must draw the line somewhere. 

Harry. She doesn't want convents, Mr. Pepper, 
she wants love, {to him c.) ■ 

Pepper, Ah ! that's the one thing I can't buy for 
her, 

Harry. Very prettily expressed. Charming — 
{shakes hands) {abruptly, as if having come to deter- 



AcTlV.j TANTALISING T0M3HY. 163 

mination) Mr. Pepper, I know your opinion of me as 
an artist. 

(Pepper loohs to front saying.) 

Pepper. There can only be one opinion on that 
point. 

Harry. I should like your opinion of me, as a man. 

Pepper. I think you're a very clever — er, er. I 
began hfe like you mixing colours, but I found it more 
profitable mixing tea — I wish I had a man of your 
talents with me. {takes hat from table) 

Harry Thank you, father — er — Mr. Pepper, 
{shakes hand) a nod's as good as a wink to an Irishman. 
Miss Tommy will not go into a convent. 

Pepper. I can't prevent her 

Harry. Go home in peace, Mr. Pepper — leave the 
rest to me. Miss Tommy will not enter a convent. 
{takes him up to steps by arm) 

Pepper, {laughing — in high spirits) You've given 
me new hfe — yes — I think she will hsten to you. 
{shakes hands) Let me know as soon as possible. I 
shall be at my office waiting — anxiously — good luck 
to you. 

{Exit c. to R.) 
{Enter Jimmie l. comes c.) 

Harry. Good luck to both' of us ! Art ! Bah ! 
{looks at some canvas on the steps, kicks them, away) 
Tea for me. {coynes c.) 

(JuviMiE stands looking amazed, gets l.) 



154 TANTALISING T0MM7. [Act IV. 

JiMMiE. Really, I should have thought it had been 
barley water. What do you think you're doing ? 

Harry. Changing my background, {tahes o§ 
kimono) T. H. Pepper has recognised my talent. 

(JiMMiE smiles quietly.) 

Harry. And I'm travelling on the road to for- 
tune, {puts on coat, getting it from fireplace R, Puts 
kimono on r. chair.) 

JiMMiE. Then your rotten ladder has been of some 
use to you, after all. {sits l.) 

Harry. It wasn't the ladder — it was Tommy. 
She's been my good angel, {by table l. of it.) 

JiMMiE. (bitterly) And mine. I don't know what 
I shall do. 

Harry. Your desk is still vacant — {over to r. of 
Jimmie) Elsie is playing the Maiden's Prayer louder 
than ever 

Jimmie. You told me she loved me ? 

Harry. Who ? Elsie ? 

Jimmie. Elsie — no, no. Tommy. 

Harry, {laughs loudly) 

Jimmie. What are you laughing in that idiotic 
way for ? 

Harry. Oh, that was all a mistake. 

Jimmie. A mistake ! 

Harry. A great mistake, and now I come to think 
of it I cannot imagine how such a ridiculous idea 
could get into my head (going r.) 



ActW.] tantalising tommy. 155 

JiMMiE. {angrily) Can't you ? {rises, comes c.) 
That subtle mind of yours, that scents things at a dis- 
tance — those great ideas that come to you suddenly — 
seem to leave you quicker than they come. Now 
you say it was all a mistake and you nagged me and 
na.gged me 

Harry. Nagged you ? — I'm not a woman 



JiMMiE. What right have you to muddle up 
people's Hves in this irresponsible way.) {cross r. 

Harry, (c). I — Irresponsible ! I am speaking 
on the highest authority, and I am convinced that I 
erred — I am human. I am a man 

JiMi\nE. What am I — a monkey — {wp to him c.) 

Harry. I tell you I know what I'm talking about. 
{go to easel) 

JiMMiE. {up c.) You know — you know — ^if you 
didn't know so much you wouldn't make so many 
mistakes — you're — you're driving me mad with your 
mistakes, {goes up c.) 

Harry, It is only by mistakes we find the right 
way. 

JiMMiE. {pause — quietly comes down r. c.) Is she 
going to marry ? 

Harry. Who ? 

JiMMiE. (by table r.) Tommy, of course. 

Harry. What diSerence does it niake to you 
whether Miss Pepper marries or not ? 

JiMMiE. {indifferently) ' Er — er — to me — oh, none 
at all — I just asked. I suppose now we shan't see her 
any more. 



156 TANTALISING TOM]MY. [Act IV. 

Harry, {go to Jim c.) We — as friends Jimmy — 
{offer hand) you and I, are a collective body. 

JiMMiE. {feels for coin, then under standmg says) 
Oh, yes, I see ! {and shakes hands) 

Harry. But in all matters relating to Miss Pepper 
(drop hands) I prefer to remain an individual, {go l. 
a little) 

JiMMiE. Oh, just as you please, {turns to him, 
sitting on table) 

Harry. It isn't as I please. I tried to efface my 
personality but it insisted, willy nilly. I am the one 
factor that 

JiMMiE. (r. c.) You — 2/OM the one factor, {aston- 
ished) 

Harry, (c.) T. H. Pepper was most charming, 
and in a burst of generous confidence I learnt the 
truth — Jimmy boy — I am the man. 

JiMMiE. You ! {breaks out into a peal of hysterical 
laughter) 

{Bus. crosses l. then back to R. c. laughing, Harry 
collars him by shoulders, and laughs with him.) 

Harry. Yes, we can both laugh now. 

JiMMiE. {laugh, suddenly ceases) You silly old 
ass can't you see I'm laughing at you {throws him off l.) 
■ — can't you see how utterly preposterous it is — Miss 
Tommy — in love with you-r-Impossible ! {goes r.) 

Harry. Am I so unattractive ? 

JiMMiE. A few minutes ago you swore that I was 
the man — and called me a fool for contradicting you 



Act IV.] TANTALISING TOMMY. ig? 

— you can't blow hot and cold like this, you have no 
right to — to — trifle with — ^with — this sweet young girl. 
{loohing to u.) 

Harry. Her father told me 

JiMMiE. Her father — oh you're trifling with him 
too. {turns to Harry) 

Harry. Oh, I say 

JiMMiE. Oh, don't put on that innocent air— it's 
true, you know it, every word of it. {go up c.) 

Harry. That's enough — I won't hsten to any 
more of {going up c.) 

JiMMiE. {stops Mm) I've Ustened to yoiir twaddle 
for fifteen years — the least you can do is to Hsten to 
mine for fifteen seconds. 

Harry, {snap fingers) Twaddle on. ^l. c. sits 
seat L.) 

JiMMiE. I tell you — you're utterly unsuited to 
her, you're hot tempered. 

Harry. So is she. 

JiMMiE. No — she's high spirited — you're as ob- 
stinate as a mule 

Harry. So is she. 

JiMMiE, She has a little determination — that's all. 

Harry. She's vain. 

JiMMiE. So she ought to be — she's charming- 
fascinating {go R.) 

Harry. So am I. 

(JiMMiE turns away up stage.) 
JiMMiE. Oh, my lor'! You! {turns to him) 3^t 



158 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act IV. 

you don't love her, Harry. You don't know what 
love is. 

Harry, (turns sharp) I don't, (rise) That is 
the last straw ! Love has been the study of my life. 
{'pose, arms folded) 

JiMMiE. Oh, my lor' ! You can't know love — 
{turns R. pause) You must feel it. 

Harry. I do feel it ! 

JiMMiE. You, you have only one love in your life. 

(Harry proud.) 
Yourself. 

Harry, (folding his arms) Thank you ! You 
have placed me among the Great. 

(Jim goes down r. Enter Maid up r. Comes doivn c. 
to R. of Harry.) 

Maid, (to Harry in low voice) Sister Evangeline, 
sir. 
Harry. Show her up ! 

(Servant exits.) 

JiMMiE. Somebody come to see you ? 

Harry, (to Jimmie) It's Tommy. To-morrow 
morning's Post will announce our engagement. We 
shall honeymoon in the sunshine of Italy — smile, 
Jimmie, — smile, you shall be my best man ! (goes l.) 

(Tommy enters c. from r. — all her vivacity gone — her 
eyes are cast dovm — she stands the picture of humil- 
ity, JiMOTE hacks a step or two dmvn r. They 



Act IV.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 159 

stand looking at her with surprise. Toivnnf comes 

down c. To Harey, then turns and looks at Jimmie.) 

JiMMiE. Good-bye — I'm off. {up r. of table) 

Harry. Where are you going ? 

Jimmie. To the devil, {over l. shoulder) Good 

bye. . . . 

{Exits quickly c. to n.) 

Tommy, (c.) Did you hear him say where he was 
going — ^it's terrible, Brother Harry, terrible. Can't 
you do something to stop him ? 

Harry, (l. c.) There was a time, but he's quite 
beyond me now. I give him up. Miss Pepper. 

Tommy. Miss Pepper no longer exists. . . . Sister 
Evangehne, please. 

Harry. When I see you more charming than 
ever, despite the severity of your dress, and think of 
the future you have determined upon, Miss Pepper — 

Tommy. Sister — please, {walks down r. a few 
steps) 

Harry. I can't sister you. 

Tommy, {looking at him, lively tone) Oh yes, you 
must, it's the only way I can keep myself in the right 
mood. If people continue calhng me Miss Pepper — I 
shall go back to all Miss Pepper's bad habits, 

{Change of voice, resumes solemn tone.) 

and I want to get rid of them, I must get rid of them 
before I enter the convent. 

Harry. Miss Pepper. 

Tosdiy. QisteT~{little down) 



160 TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act IV. 

Harry, {turns away l.) I can't — I can't bear to 
think of one — so richly endowed — (Tommie looks 
round at him) by nature, giving up the world — the joy 
of hving — my heart aches, {up to her on her l.) 

Tommy. Our conversation is becoming too worldly. 
{cross L. slowly) 

Harry, (r) I have your father's permission — 

Tommy. Father's ! 

Harry. Yes. {pathetically) Think of that dear 
man, full of the fire of youth ; he laughs no longer — 
his hair is turning white, (c.) What surer sign of 
grief could you have ? 

Tommy, {walks slowly up c, turns) Do you think 
your friend will come back ? 

Harry, {up to her) I can think of no one but 
you — You — do you know what you are giving up ? 

Tommy. Everything I have. 

Harry. You are giving up more. 

Tommy. More ? 

Harry, {taking her hands) {earnestly) Miss Pep- 
per — Tommy — do you understand ? 

Tommy. No. {sadly and shaking her head — turns 
head to him) — but it's awfully sad. 

(Harry crosses l.) 

{Warn band.) 

(Tommy gets r. c.) 

Harry, {disgusted, speaks in matter-of-fact voice, as 
if reciting a lesson) You are going into a convent 
because you love a man {up to her on her l.) 



Act IV.] TANTALISING TOMMY. - 161 

Tommy, {her head drooling— in a whisper, nodding 
her head) Yes — h-h-how did you know ? 

Harry. If that man loved you, would you go — 
into a convent ? 

Tommy, {forgetting herself) Of course I wouldn't, 
you dear silly old thing. 

Harry, {excitedly) Ah ! I knew it — {taking he£ 
hand) Have I your permission to go to your father 
and tell him ? 

(Jimmie appears on steps up c.) 

Tommy. Yes — yes — {thinking he means Jimmie, 
gives an exclamation of joy. Go, go quick, tell father. 

(Harry rushes out after shaking hands forcibly ivith 

Jimmie saying ^'' It^s all right " ; Jimmie squirms) 

(Tommy hacks up l. c. Pause — Jimmie stands silent 
a minute.) 

Tommy. Have you forgotten anything ? 
Jimmie, Yes, I forgot my bowler. - 

{Short pause — then points to picture.) 

There's your father's portrait, have you seen it \ 

Tommy. I'll pray Heaven may forgive youi 
friend — for that . -i. - 

Jimmie, It's a little trying on a hot day, isn't it ? 

Tommy. Do you like it ? 

Jimmie. It was a labour of love, on his part. 

Tommy. Love — ^for papa ? 

L 



162 " TANTALISING TOMMY. [Act IV, 

^ JiMMiE. {comes down e. c.) No — for you. 
; Tommy, (l. c.) For me ? 

JiMMiE. This studio and everything in it speaks of 
your affection for him — The very first time I met you, 
you could not conceal your admiration for him. 

Tommy. No. No. '' 

JiMMiE. I remember your words too well. You 
said " Your friend is much better looking than you 
are " {turns away r.) 

Tommy, {smiles) And you remembered that ? 

JiMMiE. I remember everything and I see now 
I've been a fool. 

Tommy. Oh no — that's not true — I'm so thankful 
you came back, I wanted to see you, and ask your 
forgiveness before I went away. 

JiMMiE. {fause, looking away from, then turning 
to her) Miss Pepper, have you carefully considered) 
the step you are taking ? 

Tommy. Yes. 

JiMMiE. But it's so sudden, you've had so little 
time to think. 

Tommy. I've thought more in that Httle time than 
I have since I was born. 

JiMMiE. Do you realise it is for a lifetime ? 

Tommy. Oh no — not always. 

JiMMiE. {astonished) Good gracious ! You can't 
enter into such a sacred contract in that spirit. 

Tommy. Oh yes, it's quite usual — if girls change 
their minds they can go home to their parents. 

Jimmy. But their hves are utterly ruined. 



Act IV.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 163 

Tommy. Oh no — they have a much better time in 
every way. 

JiMMiE. Oh, my goodness me ! {go down r. and re- 
turn) You are too young to reaHse the full meaning 
of your words — You are face to face with a great 
danger. 

Tommy. Danger ? T"^ 

JiMMiE. The divorce court. 

Tommy. What have I to do with the divorce court? 
{natural tont) 

Jimmie. You can't simply say to your husband, 
(Tommy smiles) I've changed my mind — I'm going 
home. 

Tommy. Mr. Cottenham, I'm not going to get 
married. 

Jimmie. But you spoke of going away and Harry 
said 

Tommy. I don't know what Harry said — but I'm 
going into a convent. 

Jimmie. {pause, walk away r. then up to her) Ob, 
I say — Is this a joke ? 

Tommy. No — -ifs very serious, {old tone) 

Jimmie. But I don't understand — Harry said 

{above her) 

Tommy. Harry has nothing to do with it, ; 

Jimmie. {delighted) Nothing ? 

Tommy, Certainly not. {natural) 

Jimmie. But it's so strange — a girl in your position 
giving up the world. 

Tomimy. Oh ! I'm nothing— Brother 



164 TANTALISING TOMVIY. [Act IV. 

JiMMiE. {groans) As you haven't taken the veil 
yet — if you don't mind — er — it annoys me exceedingly 
to have you call me " brother." 

Tommy. Just as you wish, " sir." {turns l. and up 
a little) 

{A pause. Jimmie walks across l. excitedly.) 

JiMMiE. (l.) You must be very unhappy to 
think of entering a convent. 

Tommy, {comes slowly doivn to him l. c.) My 
conscience is troubling me for the way I've treated 
you. 

Jimmie. G-ood gracious, I don't demand a life's 
expiation for that. 

Tommy. Are you beginning to hate me less ? 
{face lights up) 

Jimmie. I don't know — I don't know {cross r.) 
but you haunt me. {turns to her) It seems to me that 
the people one hates, are more in one's mind than 
those one Hkes. (l. of r. table) 

Tommy. Then you only think of Elsie a little. 

Jimmie. A very little. I am touched when I 
think of her. But when I think of you, I want to 
break something. 

(Tommy smiles.) 

I suppose you can't understand the feeling. 
Tommy. Yes I can— it's hate. 
Jimmie. Yes, I suppose it must be hate- 



Tommy. {to c.) {sadly) Oh, I know I've been. 



Act IV.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 163 

very wicked. I can see it all now — cut off from the 
world and its passions, and the frirolities of hfe. 

JiMMiE. I still have to dabble in frivolities. 
{fingering hat) 

Tommy. Don't lose courage. Your happiess will 
return to you. The terrible step I am about to take 
will open Mr. Tathem's ejes 

JiMMiE. {bursting out) I don't care if he never 
opens his eyes again, he's nothing to me. 

Tommy. Ah ! (joy) What do you say, Brother 
James ? 

JiMMiE. [turns to her, hands clasped) (lovingly) I 
say, that the harm you have done me is more serious 
than you think. I say at my cottage I found you 
unbearable, at the Colonial Office you maddened me, 
and here, with your religious ideas, you exasperate 
me more than ever — That's what I say, Sister Thomas. 
{colloquially) {turns e.) 

Tommy. Is it possible you hate me like that, but 
you were aways disagreeable to me. 

Jimmie, {quickly) Ah — that was all a mistake — 
I was a mistake when I was born — and I've been a 
mistake ever sinc«. 

Tommy. I was a mistake too, so don't feel so badly 
about it. Did they want a. girl ? 

Jimmie. {puzzled) Who ? {looking round at her) 



{Warn Curtain.) 

Tommy. Your parents. 

Jimmie. {understanding) Oh — Yes. 



i-^ 



166 ~ TANTALISING TOIVIMY. [Act IV. 

Tommy, {steps hack — brightly) Then you were the 
boy that my papa wanted, and I'm the girl your papa 
wanted. 

JiMMiE. I always felt there was some sort of tie 
between us. 

Tommy. Well, good-bye, Brother James, {going 
up c.) {on 2nd step) 

Jimmie. {following her gets on 1st step) Where is 
the — convent — {puts his hand on her arm) you're 
going to ? 

Tommy. I don't want to go to a convent in Eng- 
land, but there's a very good one in Austria — 

Jimmie, Austria's a long way from England, isn't 
it. {down a little c.) 

Tommy. A very long way. {turns to go) 

Jimmie. France will come between us. {down a 
step) 

Tommy. And Italy 

JiMivoE. And Upper Tooting (brings her down) 

Tommy, {greatly affected) And Peisia 

Jimmie. Oh no ; Persia's not in that direction — 
Persia's in — Persia-immon ! Oh, we're both very 
unhappy aren't we Sister Tom ? {gets her R. hand) 

Tommy. Yes, Brother Jim. 

Jimmie. {turning away) {pause) Don't you think 
we might — kiss each other good-bye, mother — sister I 
I mean. 

{She hesitates) 

Tommy. And then will you go to the devil ? 
{head over his l. shozdder) 



Act IV.] TANTALISING TOMMY. 167 

JiMMiE. Yes, in a roundabout way. 

Tommy. Then I'll go with you, Jimmy boy ! 

JiMMiE. Tommy ! (he takes her in his arms) 

(Harry enters with Pepper beaming with anticipation) 

Harry, (entering) Come along, Mr. Pepper, it's 

all right Well — I'm {On seeing the unexpected 

embrace of Tommy and JiMauE he drops the floivers 
he brought for Tommy. Comes down r. c. Jimmie 
shakes hands with him enthusiastically) 

JiMMiE. It's all right. Harry, it's all right ! 

(Music.) I 

Curtain. 

Is^ Picture. Jimmie still shaking hands ; Harry 
breaks away and goes up r. Pepper sits in cfiair 
on steps. 

Time 20 minutes. 



PROPERTY PLOT. 



ACT I. 



Sideboard down R. 



Chair down r. 



On sideboard — 
Empty syphon. 

Decanter of brandy. 

Sugar in basin. 

Pack of cards. 

Box of matches. 

Two cigarettes. 

Lamp Hghted. 
On chair — 

Picture. 

Box of paints. 

Brushes. 



R. of door at back. 



Picture on sketching easel up r. 

Trick chair. 

Fishing rods. 

Golf clubs. 

Oak table On table — 

Three bedroom candlesticks 
Oval table L.0 On oval table — 

Coloured cloth. 

Three hands of cards. 

Sheet of paper and pencil. 

Long cherrywood pipe. 

Two boxes of matches. 

Ash tray. 

Tin box. 

168 



ta::^taliisng tommy: i69 

Three chairs to table. 

Bird cage (over window). 

Small table in window. Duster on table. 

Cat on hassock (in fireplace). 

Seat. 

Large hooded fireplace. 

Clock and two candlesticks on mantelpiece. 

Written and stamped letter for Harey. 

Jack towel behind kitchen door. 

Rug at foot of stairs. Rug in front of fireplace 

Cretonne and serge curtains to window (practicable). 

Flowers in window d.r. 

Gun and dust bin off L. for tyre effect. 

Motor effect. 

Syphon and tumbler on salver off l. 

Hat pegs and mirror in Jimmy's bedroom. 

Glass crash in Tommy's bedroom. 

Hat in Bertha's bedroom. 

Picture painted on Jimmy's door. 

„ ,, on Bertha's door. 

„ ,, below staricase. 

„ „ on kitchen door. 

Three pictures on walls. 
Tobacco in pouch for Jimmy. 

Charcoal and fuller's earth off L. for Jimmy and Harby. 
Lighted lamp hanging L. of door at back. 
One stable lantern off L. 
Log fire. 

ACT II same as ACT I. 

Tray off p.s. containing — 
Three plates. 
Three cups and saucers. 
Milk jug and milk. 
Three egg cups Avith eggs. 
One plate and loaf of bread. 
Butter on plate. 
Pot of marmalade and spoon. 



170 



TANTALISING TOMMY. 



Toast in rack. 

Three knives, three tea spoons, three egg spoons. 

Bread knife. 

White cloth. 

Tea cosy. 
■ Teapot with tea. 
Clock strike 



Tandem bicycle 
Live chicken 
Bicycle bell 



Off P.s. 



ACT iir. 



Desk down right 



Desk centre back 



Desk down left 



On desk — 

Blotter. 

Inkwell. 

Pens with black crayons. 

Pen box. 
On desk — 

Blotter. 

Pens. 

Inkstand. 

Plenty of papers, drafts, 
etc., on desk. 
On desk — 

Pens. 

Inkwell. 

Blotter. 

Ruler. 

Pajjer knife. 

Copy of Telegraph. 

Telephone. 

Pair of paper cuffs 



Hat and coat hooks down r. 

,, ,, ,, left back. 

Book press. 
Dummy blinds at window at back. 



TANTALISING TOMMY. l^i 

Bentwood chaii's right ■back. 

Mantelpiece stove, fender, fireirons down l. 

On fireplace — 
Water carafe. 
Date calendar. 
Ledger. 
Map of Australia over mantelpiece. 
Canadian Pacific Railway advertisements on walls. 
Cigar for Killick. 
Tray covered with cloth off o.P. containing — 

Cruet. 

Salad bowl and salad. 

Tumbler. 

Wine glass. 

Large spoon, soup plate with cover for Irish stew. 

Two forks. 

Knife. 

Salad spoon and fork. 

Decanter of brandy. 

Coffee pot. 

Sugar basin, coffee, cup and saucer. 

One large, one small, one salad plates. 

Napkin. 
Bunch of grapes. 
Menu for waiter. 
Office armchair to each desk. 
One printed and written draft for Tathem. 
One printed, typed and written document for Jimmie. 
Green baize door. 
One roll, one crust. 

ACT IV. 

Large easel with picture. 

High stool L. of easel. 

Oriental table R., ^nth paint brushes, etc. 

,, ,, in front of fu'e place. 

Tapestry curtain to openings. 
Plaster casts, ornaments, etc., to drees scene. 



172 



TANTALISING TOMMY. 



Oriental furniture to dress scene. 

Firepla<!e, overmantel, fender, ferns, to dress. 

Plenty of Oriental rugs. 

Six canvases on stairs for Killick to kick. 

Bunch of flowers off R. 

Palette, brushes, paint for Killick. 

Cheque for Pepper. 

Large palm on stool R. of window. 

Italian cabinet and two in window. 

Bust on pedestal r. of window. 

Holland blind to window. 

Algerian overdoor and curtain to door down L. 

Portrait R. of window. 

Sconces hanging on scene. 

Picture over door down L. 

One cheque book with filled in cheque for Pepper. 

Written letter for Pepper. 



LIGHTING PLOT. 



ACT I. 



Float . . Red and white full up start. 

Battens . None. 

Lengths . Amber in doorway l.h. 

Amber by window r.h. not alight in this Act. 
Small lengths by second door up staircase to 

light up when Tommy appears at end of Act. 
Lights in each doorway up staircase to light up 
as artists enter and switch off when they leave. 
Lamp on sideboard r.h. 
Lamp on wall l.h. door at back. 
Fire ahght and die out at end of Act. 
Float . . To go down when Bertha puts out lamps. 
Limes . . o.p. Amber, p.s. side amber top, steel blue 
bottom. Blue behind window L.g, 



TANTALISING TOMMY. 



173 



ACT II. 

Float . . To come up as blinds are drawn " Habry " 

after rise of curtain. 
Batten . . None. 

Lengths . Amber in doorway l.h. by window r.h. 
Amber by window l.h. 
Lights in each doorway up staircase to remain 

alight. 
Lamps on sideboard and on wall — out. 
Fire out. 
Limes . . Perches. Dark amber top h'ght, amber bottom 

Amber b'^hind each window. 
Motor Effect in 1st and ■2nd Act at cue, viz. — 

1st Act. Bektha. Have you locked up, start, at. ex- 
plosion stop. 
2nd Act. Tommy. This affaii- is going to prove Enderby's 
love for me. 



ACT IIL 

Float . . White and red full up. 

Batten. . White and red full up. 

Lengths . Amber in each doorway. 
Amber behind ^vindows. 
Telephones on table l.h. 

Limes . . Perches. Light ambers- 
Amber on back cloth. 



ACT IV. 

Float . . ^Vhite and red full up. 
Battens . White and red full up. 
Lengths . Amber in each doorway. 

Amber each side of recess up steps at back. 

Amber in doorway at back of recess. 

Two brackets side of fireplace. 

One bracket side of door l.h. not alight. 



174 TANTALISING TOMMY. — 

Lim^ • Perches light ambers. 

, Light amber on cloth back on window L.H. 
Light amber through same window. 




THE PLAYS OF ALFRED oc 



Paper, acting edition, is. 6d. net. CloLli, L 
25. 6d. net. 

THE FASCINATING MR. VANDERVLLDl. 
A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS. (Paper only.) 

THE BARRIER. (Cloth only.) 

A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS. 

THE BUILDER OF BRIDGES. (Cloth only.) 

A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS. 

JOHN GLAYDE'S HONOUR. (Cloth only.) 
A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS, 

MOLLENTRAVE ON WOMEN. 

A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS, 

THE PERFECT LOVER. 

A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS. 

THE WALLS OF JERICHO. 

A PLAY IN FOUR ACTS, 

The following One-Act Plays at 6d. each, 
CARROTS. 

THE CORRECT THING. 

ELLA'S APOLOGY. 

A GAME OF CHESS. 

THE GUTTER OF TIME 

A MAKER OF MEN. 

THE MAN ON THE KERB. 

A MARRIAGE HAS BEEN ARRANGED. 

T}:iL OPEN DOOR. 

MR. STEINMANN'S CORNER. 

THE SALT OF LIFE. 



DEC in 1^11 



THE PLAYS OF R. C CARTON. 

t%. 6d. each. 

LADY HUNTWORIWS EXPERIMENT. 
LIBERTY HALL. 
MR. HOPKINSON. 
SUNLIGHT AND SHADOW, 

. THE PLA YS OF H. V. ESMOND. 

IS. 6d. each, 

BILLY'S LITTLE LOVE AFFAIR. 

ONE SUMMER'S DA Y. 

WHEN WE WERE TWENTY-ONE. 

WILDERNESS. 

THE PLAYS OF MADELEINE LUCETTB 
R YLE Y. 

I*. 6d. e>ch. 

AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. 
/EDB UR Y JUNIOR. 
MICE AND MSN. 

THE PLA YS OF OSCAR WILDE. 

ta. 6d. each. 
IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST, 
LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN. 



LONDONs SAMUEL FRENCH, LIMITSD. 




^ "0 m2 



Is. 6d. net Edition. 



Adventure of Lady Ursula 

All-of-a-Sudden Peggy 

An American CitiEen 

Beauty and the Barge 

Billy's Little Love Affair 

Brace of Partridges 

Brixton Burglary 

Captain Swift 

Cassilis Engagement 

Charity that Began at fiome 

Country Mouse 

Dr. Wake's Patient 

Duke of Killicrankie 

Facing the Music 

Feiscinating Mr. Vanderveldt 

Idle- 

Importance of Being Earnest 

In Chancery 

Jedbury Junior [ment 

Lady Huntworth's Experi- 

Lady Windermere's Fan 

Liberty Hall 

Lucky Miss Dean 

Marriage of Kitty 

Mice and Men 

Miss Elizabeth's Prisoner 

Miss Hobbs 

MoUentrave on Women 

Mr. Hopkinson 



Mr. Preedy and the Countecw 

Naked Truth 

New Boy 

Niobe 

Oh ! Susannah . 

One Summer's Day 

Parvenu 

Passport 

Perfect Lover 

Peter's Mother 

Pilkerton's Peerage 

Private Secretary 

Return of the Prodigal 

Rocket 

Royal Family 

Second in Command 

Sir Anthony 

Snug Little Kingdom 

Squire [Brown 

Strange Adventures of Mies 

Sunlight and Shadow 

Tantalising Tommy 

Two Mr. Wetherbys 

Walker, London 

Walls of Jericho 

When We were Twenty-One 

Wilderness 

Wisdom of Folly 

Woodbarrow Farm 



2s. 6d. net Library Edition. 



The Barrier 
Builder of Bridges 
^ase of Rebellious Susan 
'^ve of Illusion 
Wcing Girl 

'ascinating Mr. Vanderveldt 
he Hypocrites 
phn Glayde's Honour 
jseoh Entangled 



Liars 

Manoeuvres of Jane 

Masqueraders 

Middleman 

MoUentrave on Won^en 

Mrs. Dane's Defence 

Perfect Lover 

Silver King 

Walls of Jericho 



^ 




